Marty Shonson

Dog Bites Man

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Played by:

A.D. Miles

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Marty Shonson Quotes

Unknown Episode:

Marty Shonson: Well, I have definitely looked down the double-barrel of the racist shotgun... in that I was made fun of a lot when I was a youngster for [pointing to his red hair] the old cinnamon bush up top. And uh, you know they called me all kinds of names. You know: carrot top, cinnamon top, copper top, cheeto head, cheeto top, butt pirate, ginger snap.
Kevin Beekin: I don't think, uh..."butt pirate" is referring to your red hair. It's a slang for gay people.
Marty Shonson: I think it refers more to pirates being of Danish decent, the Vikings and whatnot, they were red-haired. And I think the "butt" part is just sort of adding insult to injury. You know, sort of a seaman taunt.
Tillie Sullivan: It becomes the pirate, the reference is it's referring to pillaging butts.

Unknown Episode:

Kevin Beekin: [Kevin is planning to go undercover as a homosexual] I don't know if I'm believable as a gay.
Marty Shonson: Well, a lot of your fan mail does say "Kevin Beekin is a homo."
Kevin Beekin: I'm gonna have to get inside the mind of a gay. Like, where do gays go?
Tillie Sullivan: Uh, I think you could be a gay ordering food at a restaraunt. Start there.
Kevin Beekin: Do they do that?
Tillie Sullivan: I would assume so, right?
Marty Shonson: Sure.
Kevin Beekin: I don't know... what do they order?
Tillie Sullivan: I don't know. Marty, find out what gay people eat.
Marty Shonson: You got it.

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