Kevin Beekin

Dog Bites Man

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Played by:

Matt Walsh

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Kevin Beekin Quotes

Season 1 / Episode 3: - Assignment: Spring Break

Kevin Beekin: One of the biggest dangers at Spring Break is peer pressure. Even bands, when I grew up, we had a band called the Spin Doctors. Their lead singer Kurt Cobain killed himself and that was the end of the Spin Doctors. What about crack? What if Whitney Houston's crack pipe could talk, what would it say? I'll tell you what it would say. It would say, 'Looks like your 'greatest love of all' is crack and not music. Or if Nick Nolte's liver could talk, you know what it would say? It would say, 'I'm tired of pissing blood.'

Season 1 / Episode 3: - Assignment: Spring Break

Kevin Beekin: I was 13 years old, I had a quarter bottle of southern comfort as a young man. I woke up in the mall in a Brookstone sitting in a massage chair with an erection. Its tragic. That was the most embarrassing thing of my life.

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