Kevin Beekin

Dog Bites Man

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Played by:

Matt Walsh

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Kevin Beekin Quotes

Unknown Episode:

Kevin Beekin: May I ask why you brought a razor to this meeting?
Alan Finger: I thought we were here to talk about facial sensitivity.

Season 1 / Episode 3: - Assignment: Spring Break

Kevin Beekin: One of the biggest dangers at Spring Break is peer pressure. Even bands, when I grew up, we had a band called the Spin Doctors. Their lead singer Kurt Cobain killed himself and that was the end of the Spin Doctors. What about crack? What if Whitney Houston's crack pipe could talk, what would it say? I'll tell you what it would say. It would say, 'Looks like your 'greatest love of all' is crack and not music. Or if Nick Nolte's liver could talk, you know what it would say? It would say, 'I'm tired of pissing blood.'

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