Dogbert

Dilbert

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Played by:

Chris Elliott

Who is Dogbert?

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Dogbert Fans [2]

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Dogbert Quotes

Season 1 / Episode 1: - The Name

Dilbert: [Dilbert is in the shower, with a voice activated temperature control] The shower's calibrated to respond to my voice only.
Dogbert: Boy, you think of everything.
Dilbert: I'm cautious.
Dogbert: That's why you had training wheels until you were seventeen
Dilbert: I was fourteen. [Shower temperature goes to 14 degrees] AAAAAAGH! [Almost frozen in a block of ice] 99! 99! 99! [The temperature goes back to 99] Don't do that!
Dogbert: Where did you get the voice for that thing, it sounds like the computer from that stupid movie, what was it, "Something, something, a Space Odyssey?"
Dilbert: It wasn't called "Something Something: A Space Odyssey," it was called "2001: A Space AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" [cut to exterior of house, as Dilbert's shower rises to 2001 degrees, cut to interior of house where Dilbert's skin is red hot, he puts on his towel which catches on fire as he walks out]
Dogbert: On the plus side, you look very clean.

Season 2 / Episode 16: - The Fact

Dilbert: You can't publish a book about an unproven medical condition.
Dogbert: Apparently you haven't been to the book store lately.

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