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Diagnosis Murder tv show

Diagnosis Murder

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Diagnosis Murder Quotes

07x22 - Swan Song Season 7 / Episode 22: - Swan Song

Patient: Have you actually graduated from medical school yet?
Dr. Jesse Travis: Oh no, my mom just dropped me off here for some after school day care and Dr Sloan lets us play with the shiny instruments!
Patient: A physician stand-up comic!
06x13 - Voices Carry Season 6 / Episode 13: - Voices Carry

Detective Steve Sloan: Get me some bacon and eggs will you Jess
Dr. Jesse Travis: You can get them yourself!
Detective Steve Sloan: Yeah, I can gouge your eyes out with my spoon too!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Hey, well a bright good morning to you too! Jesse leaves
Detective Steve Sloan: -to Mark- This surly in the morning routine works great, you can't believe what I can get people to do for me!
06x13 - Voices Carry Season 6 / Episode 13: - Voices Carry

Detective Steve Sloan: Get me some bacon and eggs will you Jess
Dr. Jesse Travis: You can get them yourself!
Detective Steve Sloan: Yeah, I can gouge your eyes out with my spoon too!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Hey, well a bright good morning to you too! [Jesse leaves]
Detective Steve Sloan: [to Mark] This surly in the morning routine works great, you can't believe what I can get people to do for me!
06x12 - Trapped in Paradise Season 6 / Episode 12: - Trapped in Paradise

Dr. Jesse Travis: All those times you dragged me into doing police work, all those times I stood face to face with death
Detective Steve Sloan: You never stood face to face with death!
Dr. Jesse Travis: All right, all those times I mistakenly thought I was standing face to face with death.
06x12 - Trapped in Paradise Season 6 / Episode 12: - Trapped in Paradise

Dr. Jesse Travis: All those times you dragged me into doing police work, all those times I stood face to face with death!
Detective Steve Sloan: You never stood face to face with death!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Alright, all those times I mistakenly thought I was standing face to face with death.
05x23 - Food Fight Season 5 / Episode 23: - Food Fight

Cynthia Bennett: I'm sorry, I don't have time for this meeting after all.
Dr. Jesse Travis: What meeting?
Cynthia Bennett: But the good news is I'm open Thursday. Can we say luncheous?
Dr. Jesse Travis: Not easily.
03x06 - Murder on the Run (2) Season 3 / Episode 6: - Murder on the Run (2)

Detective Steve Sloan: [to the Bad Guy] Take the gun off my father or I'll take your head off your shoulders.
02x18 - Sea No Evil Season 2 / Episode 18: - Sea No Evil

Agent Gretchen McCord: I've never been able to stand the sight of blood.
Dr. Mark Sloan: And that didn't disqualify you from being an IRS Agent?
01x08 - Shanda's Song Season 1 / Episode 8: - Shanda's Song

Dr. Jesse Travis: Hey, look at that, a message.
Detective Steve Sloan: I know.
Dr. Jesse Travis: Well, aren't we going to listen to it?
Detective Steve Sloan: No, we are not. To do so would constitute an illegal search.
Dr. Jesse Travis: [looks confused]
Detective Steve Sloan: Here's her parent's phone number. It's in Little Rock...
Dr. Jesse Travis: I don't get this. How come you're allowed to look through that book, but we can't play back her message?
Detective Steve Sloan: This is in plain site. That is not! It's an invasion of privacy without a warrant!
Dr. Jesse Travis: Oh, the law! It's very complex, I forget. But let me ask you this: What if someone, not a cop, but someone like, a doctor, were to accidentally... [slams arm onto answering machine button] Yeah, I mean, what then?
Detective Steve Sloan: Then the cop might strangle him!


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