Debra Morgan

Dexter

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Played by:

Jennifer Carpenter

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Debra Morgan Quotes

	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Dex Takes a Holiday Debra Morgan: [looking at a fatally wounded Frank Lundy] Stay with me...
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - Living the Dream Vince Masuka: Talk about your blood bath! [goofy laugh] Tough room. Okay, femoral artery's severed. She bled out in minutes. Joey Quinn: Suicide? Debra Morgan: No weapon on the premises. Vince Masuka: The coroner can suck my uncircumcised dick if he doesn't rule this a homicide! Debra Morgan: That's way TMI, Masuka. Employment records show she just got promoted to Sous Chef. Vince Masuka: A total babe! And she could cook! Had it all goin' on! Debra Morgan: And then, this. Dexter Morgan: It's a very well organized crime scene. The assailant took his time, cleaned up after himself. [voice over] Obviously doesn't have kids.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Easy As Pie Angel Batista: How much coffee have you had? Debra Morgan: A metric fuck-ton.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Turning Biminese Angel Batista: There's this cold case I'm looking at. A dead John. Now when you were working vice did you bust the same places over and over again? Debra Morgan: Uh, not really. Most guys are regulars so word gets out quick if a place is hot. So we move the decoys around [Masuka approaches] But if you really want to know about paying for sex you should talk to Masuka. Angel Batista: Hey Vince, hold up. Did you get a chance to look at the Sheriff's Department forensics regarding their vic? Vince Masuka: I fucking would if they'd fucking send it. I've called four fucking times! Debra Morgan: Man, somebody needs a hug! I'd offer but I don't know what I'd catch! Vince Masuka: Can I go now? Debra Morgan: You know, I can take inappropriate Masuka, I can take porn loving Masuka, I can even take flatulent Masuka, but this dress shoe wearing, please and thank you zombie Masuka is fucking creeping me out! Vince Masuka: Maybe I'm realizing no one around here is my friend. The only reason you people even acknowledge me is when you want something. Angel Batista: That's not true. We put you on our bowling team! Vince Masuka: Only because you wanted to keep everyone's handicap higher to sandbag the other teams. Angel Batista: Okay, that's true but... Vince Masuka: [interrupts] Not one person read my paper. Not one fucking person showed up at the conference I spoke at. Debra Morgan: This is about yor stupid paper? Vince Masuka: You guys just don't get it. You hurt my feelings.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Turning Biminese Ramon Prado: I was also hoping I could speak with a couple of your previous witnesses. Debra Morgan: Speak with? As in we didn't do it right the first time? Ramon Prado: Cases evolve. Witnesses change their stories, junior personnel, they make mistakes. Ramon Prado: No disrespect. Joey Quinn: Oh, whoa! Actually that's a lot of disrespect. You've come into our house twice, you not only insult our police work, now you're insulting one of the most dedicated officers I've ever partnered with Joey Quinn: Yes, you. It's bullshit, my man! Ramon Prado: Let's not lose sight of the fact that we want the same thing here. To find whoever is responsible for these murders. Vince Masuka: Uh, there is one slight problem. Your case has nothing to do with our case. Angel Batista: The vic wasn't skinned? Vince Masuka: Not like our previous victims. There were minute traces of papillary and reticular... Angel Batista: [quietly to Masuka] English. Vince Masuka: Someone dug out a tattoo from the back of her neck. Post mortem. Which is another reason why I don't think we're looking at the same killer. It's all right here in the County Medical Examiner's Report. Ramon Prado: That's your opinion. My lab thinks differently. Angel Batista: Let me see that! Ramon Prado: You're not taking this seriously are you? Debra Morgan: In a fucking heartbeat! Do you know how many times Vince Masuka's been published? Angel Batista: He's our lead forensic investigator. And there's no one better. Ramon Prado: Our victim was strangled, the same as yours. Vince Masuka: Petechial hemorrhaging in the eyes and bruising would lead one to conclude strangulation. Unless you're me. You were so busy playing hide the sausage with the M.E.'s report you were hoping I'd miss the cotton fibers in the nose and airways. Your victim was smothered. That's not opinion, that's science. And science is one cold hearted bitch with a 14 inch strap on! Debra Morgan: And he's back!
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - The Lion Sleeps Tonight Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant. Debra Morgan: Say it again. Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant. Debra Morgan: You're lying. Dexter Morgan: I'm not lying Debra Morgan: A baby? A motherfucking rolly-poly, chubby, cheeked, shit machine? Are you kidding me? Dexter Morgan: I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - The British Invasion Debra Morgan: What are we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - The British Invasion Debra Morgan: Put out an A.P.B. on Lila West, a.k.a: Lila Tourney. Suspected arsonist. 5'7", black hair, pale like a fucking corpse. Uniform Cop: "Fucking corpse"? You got it.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Left Turn Ahead Debra Morgan: How do I find out Lila's real name? Special Agent Frank Lundy: I think you know the answer to that. Debra Morgan: Cut off her head, look for a label? Special Agent Frank Lundy: There's probably an easier way.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Morning Comes Debra Morgan: Bayharbour butcher is one of our own. Special Agent Frank Lundy: We keep this to ourselves for now. Just the three of us. Angel Batista: No, I'm gonna go tell it to a bottle of scotch.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Morning Comes Debra Morgan: You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss 'Pardon My Tits.' I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Morning Comes Debra Morgan: You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little miss "pardon my tits". I'm sorry Dex, but she is gross! And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty Vampire.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Dark Defender Debra Morgan: [sipping her latte] Oh, sweet Mary, mother of fuck, that's good! Dexter Morgan: I think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Dark Defender Debra Morgan: If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life. Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Dark Defender Dexter Morgan: See you tonight? Debra Morgan: I think I'm staying at Gabriel's. Dexter Morgan: I thought you were taking it slow. Debra Morgan: We are. No sex, just cuddling. Dexter Morgan: My little sister, the cuddler. Debra Morgan: I got a scalding-hot beverage here, Dex. Don't make me use it. Dexter Morgan: Love you, too.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Waiting to Exhale Debra Morgan: [angry] What fucking asshole left this here? Special Agent Frank Lundy: It's, uh, Special Agent Fucking Asshole.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Truth Be Told Sergeant Doakes: That him? Debra Morgan: Yeah, how do you know? Sergeant Doakes: Cause you have that stupid ass grin on your face again.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Seeing Red Debra Morgan: Dexter, heads up. Bad in there. Dexter Morgan: Ok. Debra Morgan: I'm serious! Dexter Morgan: Ok. Sergeant Doakes: She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there. Dexter Morgan: Okay...
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Seeing Red Dexter Morgan: Oh, hi. Debra Morgan: Hi. Dexter Morgan: Oh, Masuka was looking for you. Something about drinks at the Bel Canto. Debra Morgan: Yeah, I told him I had a yeast infection. Dexter Morgan: A bit of an overshare.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Shrink Wrap Sergeant James Doakes: Morgan, what took you so long? Vince Masuka: Playing "hide the salami" with Mr. Prosthetics? Debra Morgan: I don't fuck and tell. Vince Masuka: Since when? Debra Morgan: Can we go inside? I'm kind of wet. Vince Masuka: [going to say something witty] Debra Morgan: Don't!
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - Circle of Friends Dexter Morgan: I hate to break this to you Deb, but you know you've got the wrong guy here, right? The Ice Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies and only then severs thier limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry on the other hand, stuffs roadkill. Debra Morgan: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit. Dexter Morgan: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're lookin' for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic. Debra Morgan: How do you know? Dexter Morgan: [pause] Because it is pathetic.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Return to Sender Sergeant James Doakes: You've been asking who's been calling. My mom lives here. Debra Morgan: Did you forget your laundry? Sergeant James Doakes: She's been on me to stop by for dinner. So I'm stoppin' by. And here's the plan. We go in. We eat. We out before the cheesecake. You got it? Debra Morgan: I'm, what, your exit strategy? Sergeant James Doakes: Look, you can stay out here if you want. That gives me a better excuse to leave earlier or......you can come in and have some free food. It's your call. Sergeant James Doakes: Shit! My sisters are here, too. Debra Morgan: Fucking family reunion!
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Popping Cherry Shanda: [Whistles] Debra Morgan: What? Bella: Never piss off your pimp. Debra Morgan: LaGuerta's not my pimp. Shanda: Is that right... bitch tell you what to do? Bella: Is your pussy taking all the risk? Prostitute #1: Does she steal everything you earn? Debra Morgan: Yeah, she definitely does that. Bella: She's your pimp, baby, and she will mess you up if you play her.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Crocodile Dexter Morgan: So what's up, hot shot? Debra Morgan: Alright, get this. Lieutenant's looking for that refrigerated truck in every swamp, glade and chop shop from here to the Keys. The way I see it, that whack-job truck driver threw a severed head at your car. It's not as if he's shy. Dexter Morgan: You think he's hiding the truck in plain sight, wanting it to be found?
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Crocodile Debra Morgan: Why is it we never talk brother-sister stuff? Dexter Morgan: Our dad was a cop, you're a cop, I work for the cops... for us, this is brother-sister stuff.
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Crocodile Debra Morgan: So, Miami is the haystack and the ice truck's the needle, right? Brother, I just found the fucking needle!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Crocodile Debra Morgan: Watching ice melt, this is fun. Vince Masuka: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart. Angel Batista: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex! Dexter Morgan: Huh? Vince Masuka: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way. Debra Morgan: Yeah, from vine to vine... Lt. Maria Laguerta: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

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