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Lynette Scavo Quotes
 | Season 8 / Episode 14: - Get Out of My Life Preston Scavo: Please let us in, we're children of divorce. Lynette Scavo: Exactly. Go to your dad's. Preston Scavo: But we like you so much more. Lynette Scavo: Don't give me that! Porter Scavo: No, seriously... Dad has that stupid girlfriend. Preston Scavo: And he's been so unfair to you. Lynette Scavo: [letting them in] You had me at 'stupid girlfriend'. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 10: - Down The Block There's a Riot Lynette Scavo: This is all on you, I hope you know that! Paul Young: Me? Those are your friends out there, Lynette. The solid citizens of Fairview! Tell me again why you think they're better than a bunch of ex-cons. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Lynette Scavo: Susan, Bree, Gaby, this is my old college roomate Renee. Bree Van De Kamp: Hi! It's so nice to finally meet you. Lynette has talked so much about her friend in college. Renee Perry: Oh yes. You know how in school the pretty girls always hang out together? Well I refused to go along with that. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Lynette Scavo: Renee comes off a little stuck-up when you first meet her. Which is a real time-saver. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Renee Perry: Lynette, why so mean? I worked on these compliments all the way from the airport. Lynette Scavo: Drive slower next time. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Susan Delfino: So Renee, you have to tell us, what was Lynette like in college? Renee Perry: Absolutely fearless. She just kept wearing those parachute pants, lesbian rumours be damned. Lynette Scavo: Yes, Renee was always the one with the fashion sense. Before I met her, I'd never even heard of Gucci or Prada or Chlamydia. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Lynette Scavo: Well, of course you can stay here as long as you want. Renee Perry: Thanks. And to show you my appreciation, I would like to pay for your first face-lift. Lynette Scavo: That is so generous. Although, now that you've had nine, you probably get the next one free. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Gabrielle Solis: Wow, you guys play rough. Lynette Scavo: No, it's just what we do. It's fun. I tease her about being all botulism from the nose up... Renee Perry: ...and I tease her about being all cottage cheese from the waist down. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Renee Perry: I gotta say Lynette, this place is adorable. It's so cosy and intimate and... Lynette Scavo: Pay attention kids. You're learning a lot of new words for "small". |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - Remember Paul Lynette Scavo: Hi... Renee Perry: I'm back Rodolfo. Please tell Signor Cipriani I always stay at that suite when I visit Venice and if it's not available, I will be very unhappy. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone more important I need to speak with. Lynette Scavo: Hi... Renee Perry: Hey Jose. Thanks for holding. Look, I can't do Thursday, so... Lynette Scavo: Jose, she'll call you back. Renee Perry: Lynette, you haven't changed. Lynette Scavo: Neither have you. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 24: - If It's Only in Your Head Parker Scavo: I can help you study if you want. Tom Scavo: I'm not sure how much help you're gonna be. I'm majoring in Chinese. Preston Scavo: I know how to say "Take me to a strip bar" in Mandarin. Lynette Scavo: I'm so proud. Porter aren't you gonna congratulate your father. Porter Scavo: Congratulations on ruining my life. If you see me on campus you're not allowed to talk to me. |
| Season 5 / Episode 24: - If It's Only in Your Head Lynette Scavo: [Preston, Porter and Lynette help a drunk Tom inside] Ok, easy easy, you're a little drunk there. Tom Scavo: [kiss Lynette] That's cause I love you Lynette Lynette Scavo: I love you to baby, there you go. Tom Scavo: [turns to Porter still helping him] And I love you Preston. Porter Scavo: I'm Porter Tom Scavo: I never could tell you two apart, but you're my favourite [Porter raises his eyebrows and helps Tom to sit down, takes of Tom's shows for him] Lynette how come you let me drink so many margaritas? Preston Scavo: Yeah and why did we have to stay to closing? It's almost 2.00 Lynette Scavo: Who cares what time it is? We were celebrating a big change in your dad's life. Tom Scavo: WOOHOO! Lynette Scavo: Woo! Hey someone called. [plays the message about the mix up with the time for Tom's test, for the next day at 8.00am] Tom Scavo: Oh cram! I gotta crap for that test1 Lynette Scavo: Oh geez... |
 | Season 5 / Episode 21: - Bargaining Tom Scavo: Last night we were having sex, you fell asleep. Lynette Scavo: After? Tom Scavo: During. Lynette Scavo: Oh... was it good? |
| Season 5 / Episode 21: - Bargaining Lynette Scavo: [walks in as Tom is cleaning the house] See this? My third espresso, I'm wired no way I'm falling asleep tonight. Tom Scavo: [glares at Lynette and continues cleaning without saying a word] Lynette Scavo: Hey. How about we throw a pizza on the front lawn and when the kids run out to get it, we lock the door and "do it" in every room in the house? |
 | Season 5 / Episode 20: - Rose's Turn Tom Scavo: [Tom and Lynette are having dinner with Gabby and Carlos Tom has just found out Carlos saw Lynette naked after she tripped and fell in the shower] What's going on here? Gabrielle Solis: Lynette was taking a shower and Carlos came by to drive her to work she tripped and fell and he helped her. Lynette Scavo: You told her? I asked you no to. Carlos Solis: She's my wife I tell her everything. Tom Scavo: Well you hear that Lynette? They tell each other everything, that way they know that they're not hiding anything. Lynette Scavo: I was just afraid you'd overreact! Like you're doing right now. Tom Scavo: Full disclosure Lynette! That's what a marriage is about! Gabrielle Solis: So I guess you disclosed your little "friendship" with Patty Rizzo? Lynette Scavo: What little friendship? Tom Scavo: You know what I think this is gorgenzola. Lynette Scavo: Tom? Tom Scavo: Patty gave me a ride home and for some reason Gabby's making a big deal about it. Lynette Scavo: Because it's Patty Rizzo, she's a total slut. You should be on antibiotics just for sitting in her car! Gabrielle Solis: Exactly! Carlos Solis: Stay out of this Gabby you've done enough damage! Gabrielle Solis: Hey don't snap at me! Lynette's my friend and I was just watching her back! Tom Scavo: While your husband was watching her back! Lynette Scavo: Drop it Tom! We'll continue this at home! Gabrielle Solis: If you have a shower at the office, how come you come home smelling so bad? Carlos Solis: I don't know... Why does lamb tat like sawdust? |
| Season 5 / Episode 20: - Rose's Turn Lynette Scavo: What's that look on your face? You didn't eat dairy again did you? Tom Scavo: No I've been working out! Lynette Scavo: Oh. Tom Scavo: If you're good I'll let you cut the feel Lynette Scavo: That's ok I can see it from here. It's "thrilling" |
| Season 5 / Episode 20: - Rose's Turn Tom Scavo: Wait you just took a shower, where? Lynette Scavo: At work. Tom Scavo: Didn't know you had a shower there. Lynette Scavo: I don't, Carlos does. Tom Scavo: So you went into Carlos' office stripped naked and took a shower? Lynette Scavo: No I went into Carlos' "bathroom" closed the door then stripped naked and took a shower. Tom Scavo: I'm not comfortable with this. What if he walked in? Lynette Scavo: Then maybe I'd get that raise I've been asking for. Tom Scavo: This isn't funny. You already spend 16 hours a day with the guy and now I find out that some of those hours you are naked and wet! Lynette Scavo: Hours? It was two minutes. It's not like I'm lighting candles and playing Berry White. Tom Scavo: I don't care I want it to stop. Lynette Scavo: Fine... I should've just had sex I'd be asleep by now. |
| Season 5 / Episode 20: - Rose's Turn Lynette Scavo: So I wanna hear more about the garden club. Tom says he's meeting all kinds of nice people Gabrielle Solis: Really? Any favourites Tom? Tom Scavo: They're all great gals. One's sorta a pain in the ass. Other than her, having a great time! Gabrielle Solis: All though I keep telling Tom how dangerous gardens can be everywhere you step there are shovels and rakes and "hoes". |
 | Season 5 / Episode 19: - Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know Gabrielle Solis: Ok my hour's up someone else hold Edie now. Lynette Scavo: I'll take her! [Gabby hands Lynette the urn and after a few second of holding it Lynette opens the it] kinda looks like cat litter. Susan Mayer: Lynette! Don't look at Edie... Lynette Scavo: Or what I'll turn to stone? She's all rough and gritty... Bree Van De Kamp: Uh Gabby... before we learn what Edie tastes like. Gabrielle Solis: I got it... Bree Van De Kamp: I think a little more reverence for the dead is in order. Lynette Scavo: Oh please we're talking about Edie. A little more irreverence is what we need. |
| Season 5 / Episode 19: - Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know Susan Mayer: What do you mean 'you two' were the hottest chicks on the lane? Lynette Scavo: She called me a 'baby factory'? Karen McCluskey: Yeah Gabby in hindsight maybe you shouldn't have told that part of the story Gabrielle Solis: Oh pfft! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 18: - A Spark. To Pierce the Dark. Juanita Solis: We're bored... Lynette Scavo: Hey I got you sodas didn't I and I let you feed the paper shredder. Juanita Solis: Don't you have any toys? Lynette Scavo: No. Got a hole puncher! Sorry that's the best I could do. Come on. Juanita Solis: [Juanita and Cecilia see Lucy's figurines] What about those glass things? They're pretty can we hold one? Lynette Scavo: Oh sweety those aren't to play with. Not unless you want to see someone go completely bonkers... Actually, they do look like a lot of fun. If only I had the power to stop you. |
| Season 5 / Episode 18: - A Spark. To Pierce the Dark. Carlos Solis: [Carlos and Gabby walk down the corridor to hear Lucy yelling. Carlos to Lynette] What's with the yelling? Lynette Scavo: I don't know I'm just as worried as you are... |
| Season 5 / Episode 18: - A Spark. To Pierce the Dark. Lynette Scavo: [to Lucy as she's packing up her office] Don't forget your little animals!... |
 | Season 5 / Episode 17: - The Story of Lucy and Jessie Gabrielle Solis: Susan, if you're not sure what Jessie ment by it, why don't you just talk to her? Susan Mayer: Oh, that would be way to awkward. She's my boss. Lynette Scavo: She's your boss? Let her kiss you again and then sue her! Gabrielle Solis: Okay, we're going to figure this out for you. Were her eyes open or shut? Susan Mayer: I don't know. Gabrielle Solis: Well, how many seconds did the kiss last? Susan Mayer: I don't remember. Gabrielle Solis: [frustrated] Oh, for God's sake, was it this? Gabrielle Solis: Or was it this? Susan Mayer: Uh... the second one. Lynette Scavo: Congratulations. You're now dating a lesbian. Lee McDermott: [snickers] See you at the parade. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Porter Scavo: Ooh, Dad called a family meeting. Parker Scavo: Yeah, mom he said it's about the restaurant. Lynette Scavo: Oh boy, I think I know what this is about. Things have been tough down at the restaurant and I think your dad has finally decided to sell it. Parker Scavo: Wow! Preston Scavo: Is he gonna be okay? Lynette Scavo: I don't know, that's why we all have to be really supportive, and you with me? [all nod] Tom Scavo: Hey guys, good, you're all here. Penny Scavo: I love you daddy! Lynette Scavo: Not yet. Tom Scavo: I wanted to talk to you all about our pizzeria. Lynette Scavo: Just know that we're 100% behind you. Tom Scavo: That means a lot because this was a really rough day for me. I had to let all our employees go. So starting tomorrow, you kids are my new wait staff! Lynette Scavo: Tom, what the hell are you talking about? Tom Scavo: You and I'll handle the days and the kids'll join us after school and on the weekends. Parker Scavo: At the risk of sounding spoiled, a-noo. Tom Scavo: Come on, we'll love working together, Porter Scavo: Why? We don't even like living together. Preston Scavo: You're not even going to pay us? Penny Scavo: I'm nine, is that even legal? Tom Scavo: I think so, but just to be sure, you're fifteen, happy birthday! Parker Scavo: Mom, please do something. |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Lynette Scavo: [Penny won't make salads] You're not a baby, you're fifteen, remember? Penny Scavo: Also, I can't find my band-aid. Lynette Scavo: Ok, you fill water glasses, I'll make salads. Parker Scavo: [Brings a check and money] Hey mom, this is for table 5. Lynette Scavo: Ok, thanks. Uh, you didn't give them enough change. Parker Scavo: Yeah, I know. i figured this out, you can short people one percent and they won't even notice. If they've got a buzz on, three percent. Lynette Scavo: Ok, you make the salads, I'll handle the register. Lynette Scavo: [the twins are fighting over who will wait on a hot lady] Well since I'm the only one who can wait on that table without knocking over the drink with my pants, how 'bout I take it? |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Lynette Scavo: What's going on here? Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school. Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDurmot, the guy called me 'Jesus' for a year cause I wore sandals for one day! If he sees me wearing this, I'll never hear the end of it. Tom Scavo: Fine, don't wear the apron. Porter Scavo: No. I'm not gonna wait on a kid who's gonna make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here. Parker Scavo: [looking shocked] Guys, I just sat a twelve-top, who's taking it? Tom Scavo: I will. [they all look shocked] |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Tom Scavo: I had to let all of our employees go. So starting tomorrow you kids are my new wait staff! Lynette Scavo: Tom what the hell are you talking about? Tom Scavo: I got it all worked out. You and I will handle the days and the kids will join us after school and on the weekends. Parker Scavo: Um. At the risk of sounding spoiled. No. Tom Scavo: come on it'll be fantastic! We'll love working together! Porter Scavo: Why? we don't even like living together. Tom Scavo: look labor is our number one cost if we can eliminate it we'll start making a profit again. Preston Scavo: what you're not even gonna pay us? Penny Scavo: I'm nine is that even legal? Tom Scavo: I think so... but just to be safe you're now 15. Happy Birthday! |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Porter Scavo: Just so you know, 30 years from now when you and dad are old and feeble... Lynette Scavo: You're putting us in the cheapest nursing home you can find, yeah. I got it. |
| Season 5 / Episode 15: - In a World Where the Kings are Employers Lynette Scavo: [Preston sees a group of kids from his and Porters school and Porter and Preston decide to take a break] Wow, wow, wow, what's going on here? Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school. Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDermitt. The guy called me Jesus for a year cause i wore sandals one day if he sees me wearing this I'll never hear the end of it. Tom Scavo: Fine don't wear the apron that's... Porter Scavo: No. I'm not waiting on a kid who's going to make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here! Tom Scavo: Humiliating? Lynette Scavo: Guy's easy Tom Scavo: No you're not humiliated when you use the money we make here to buy your clothes! Lynette Scavo: Tom it's fine, I'll take the table Tom Scavo: No no no no no no no your mother can't wait on this whole restaurant herself! Porter Scavo: Well then you do it! Tom Scavo: Porter I'm your father and your boss and I'm telling you right now to go take that table. Porter Scavo: Or what your gonna fire me? go for it. Tom Scavo: [grabs Porter by his collar and shoves him against the wall as Lynette gasps] Do you think this is a joke? This is my life! Lynette Scavo: Tom!... Tom Scavo: No! [shakes Porter repeatedly] you're worried about being embarrassed? [shakes Porter while saying] I've put everything I have into this restaurant! Lynette Scavo: Alright that's enough! Let got of him! Let go of him! Let go of him! Parker Scavo: Guys... I just set a twelve top. Who's taking it? Tom Scavo: [sighs]... I will... [he walks off as everyone stares at him looking scared] |
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