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 | Season 3 / Episode 11: - The Cat Bird Seat Jewel: Goddammit Richardson! Your too fuckin' ugly to be sneakin' up on people! |
| Season 3 / Episode 11: - The Cat Bird Seat Al Swearengen: [to Trixie] Loopy fucking cunt. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 10: - A Constant Throb Al Swearengen: What are you doing here? Richardson: Too afraid. Al Swearengen: If you were too afraid, you wouldn't be here. Richardson: Too afraid to explain. Johnny Burns: He's got a note pinned on him, Al. Al Swearengen: Take it off him. Then stick him in the eye with the fucking pin. Johnny Burns: He don't mean it. Al Swearengen: Tell him "Nothing". Richardson: I'll just keep quiet. Al Swearengen: No. Tell E.B., "Nothing's going on." And then tell him, "If I wanted to tell you anything, I'd have told you. Don't send the imbecile over with no more notes." Richardson: I can't remember all that! Al Swearengen: Can you remember "Nothing's going on"? Richardson: Yes. Al Swearengen: Tell him that, then. Richardson: Thank you. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Charlie Utter: [about Jack Langrishe] There... is a strange fuckin' bird. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Doc Cochran: I'm guessin' that your bottom rib is cracked, and this contusion at your belly'll show the colors of the rainbow before it's through with ya. A. W. Merrick: Apparently, my expiration is not imminent. Doc Cochran: Of course, I'm wrong as much as I am right... |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night A. W. Merrick: Have I bled on your bed linens, Al? Al Swearengen: You wouldn't be the first. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Calamity Jane: Get out of my fuckin' light! Mose Manuel: It's me. Calamity Jane: Who's me, the fuckin' eclipse? Mose Manuel: Mose Manuel. Calamity Jane: Oh really? I thought it was Giganto, the runaway circus elephant. Mose Manuel: Ms. Stubbs' been lookin' for you. Those kids need chaperonin' to the new schoolhouse, Jane! Calamity Jane: [covering her ears with liquor bottles] I cannot hear you, nor can I see you, any longer. Mose Manuel: [grabs her roughly and turns her over] You fuckin' drunken slob! Mose Manuel: Get up and walk them kids. Calamity Jane: Okay Giganto! Don't tusk me to death with your tusks. How long do I have to assemble myself? Mose Manuel: They'll be ready to go in a few minutes. Calamity Jane: Shut up! |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Johnny Burns: Sheriff? Seth Bullock: Tell him I ain't comin' for his lecture. Tell him I don't need it. Tell him if my temper was gonna get the best of me, this cocksucker's brains'd be on the floor. Tell him I've got it, alright? Tell him I'm on top of it. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Silas Adams: The top of my to-do list every morning, and every day gets away from me. Cy Tolliver: Anyways, here you are. Silas Adams: Here I am. Al's delegate, as far as him and you deal with Mr. Hearst. Cy Tolliver: Will you still if invited to sit or will it take me offering a meal? Silas Adams: I'd sooner not sit, sir, and already et. Only asking, ought I bear a message to Al? Cy Tolliver: Nothing comes to mind. Silas Adams: Horsemen come to camp by torchlight last night. Cy Tolliver: Tell Al as we didn't wake to the apocalypse, I suppose all we need fear is their Winchesters. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night John Langrishe: The blessed Miss Stubbs, whose bust is so very prominent in the mind's pantheon of the camp. Joanie Stubbs: Some not 50 yards from us will put these of mine to shame. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Amateur Night Al Swearengen: Check out that sow Tina, Doc, when the opportunity presents. That ain't the whiff of roses when she passes. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Jewel: I put out cinnamon. Dan Dority: Where? Jewel: The meeting table. Dan Dority: On whose instruction? Jewel: Cinnamon's good with peaches. Dan Dority: Do not put unauthorized cinnamon on the goddamn meeting table! That's all the fuck we need. |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Al Swearengen: We'd a meeting I ought to have asked you to. Jack Langrishe: What topic commended my presence? Reprobates? The elderly? |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Steve: I wonder what you think you're fucking doing. Nigger General: I'm laying down before I leave in the morning. Steve: I will ask the questions here! |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Sol Star: I wish you wouldn't smoke in here. Trixie: I wish when I sleep you wouldn't snore and fuckin' fart! Sol Star: I have no choice about either of those. Trixie: If I extinguish this fuckin' cigarette, it'll be in the middle of your fuckin' forehead! |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Whitney Ellsworth: Evenin'. Alma Garret: [through tears] Good evening. Whitney Ellsworth: For bein' gone, I notice I'm frequently back. I come to kiss her goodnight. [referring to Sophia] Alma Garret: I tried to persuade her you'd done so last night. Whitney Ellsworth: My beard always wakes her. Alma Garret: She said so, feuding me. The thing I did that made you leave last night, the thing I was coming home to do again, I pray now to forgo forever. Whitney Ellsworth: Not having me in this house is gonna improve your odds. Alma Garret: I started using spirits at 17, Ellsworth, with no preminition we'd marry. Whitney Ellsworth: My feelin's that bein' vessel of purpose is not your own, your eye was out for relief. But glimpsin' since how bein' your own vessel's preferable...let the pressure come off, you're liable to do alright. Alma Garret: You are no pressure. Whitney Ellsworth: My friendly hands'll always be out to both of ya. Whitney Ellsworth: May I interrupt her sleep with this beard? Alma Garret: She'd be so glad if you did. |
| Season 3 / Episode 7: - Unauthorized Cinnamon Al Swearengen: Open the place back up! Tell the whores if their legs ain't in the air, they'd better be off their asses! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 6: - A Rich Find Calamity Jane: I have been recently engaged in complicated negotiations with niggers, who equal any other creature walking upright at being able to fuck themselves up! |
| Season 3 / Episode 6: - A Rich Find E.B. Farnum: Hearst... is he Caesar? To have fights to the death for diversion, murder his workers at whim, smash passages in the fucking wall? A man of less wealth would be in fucking restraints! Al Swearengen: We are in the presence of the new. E.B. Farnum: Fuck the fucking new! Jesus Christ, Al... is it over for us here? Al Swearengen: Go back to the hotel, E.B. E.B. Farnum: Save us. Think of something! Al Swearengen: Have I ever not? |
| Season 3 / Episode 6: - A Rich Find Calamity Jane: I'll see to the buryin' [of Hostetler] with you. I owe a visit up there anyways. Samuel Fields: That ain't gonna raise your popularity with your fellow white people. Calamity Jane: Question I wake to in the morning and pass out with at night: "What's my popularity with my fellow white people?" |
 | Season 3 / Episode 5: - A Two-Headed Beast George Hearst: [to Cy Tolliver] The Sheriff recently put me on notice. He is vigilant of my possible transgressions. Seth Bullock: You sound drunk to me. George Hearst: Whom are you addressing? Seth Bullock: You. You sound drunk. George Hearst: Do I? George Hearst: Hmm. When I say, "Go fuck yourself, Sheriff," will you put that down to drunkenness or a high estimate of your athleticism? Seth Bullock: Did you just tell me, "Fuck myself"? George Hearst: I think I did. And to shut up, or I will quiet you myself. Seth Bullock: You're under arrest. George Hearst: Fuck you! And shut up, or I will shut you up for good. Seth Bullock: For threatening a Peace Officer, I'm taking you into custody. Cy Tolliver: Don't be stupid, Bullock... Seth Bullock: Don't YOU be fucking stupid. Seth Bullock: Fuck... you. |
| Season 3 / Episode 5: - A Two-Headed Beast Dan Dority: What is there to consider over, Al? That sea-creature Turner called me out! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Al Swearengen: [about Hearst] He must think I'm a fucking dog, forgives the blow first friendly scratch at the ear. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Alma Garret: What is Steve the Drunk's surname? |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Alma Garret: Since you can read, you may wish to examine my name plate. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Calamity Jane: Where would the stage be? Joanie Stubbs: I dont know. Calamity Jane: Yeah I don't know either. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Seth Bullock: I'm not a godamn errand boy. To mule this thing back and forth. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Trixie: A lot of shitbags hang around the bank. You ever fuckin notice. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Tom Nuttall: Your plans are idiotic. You're running for Sheriff to be a fireman. |
| Season 3 / Episode 4: - Full Faith And Credit Al Swearengen: Another fuckin' invite. Fuckin' Hearst must take me for an optimist. Dan Dority: I'm gonna kill that cocksucker. Al Swearengen: All in good time. |
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