Dead Like Me Quotes

Dead Like Me

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Haunted Roxy: I'm Roxy, the bad ass witch of the North-West.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Haunted George: It's not so bad . . . being dead like me.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Always Daisy Adair: He's not staying here. Georgia 'George' Lass: You're being totally selfish. Daisy Adair: That's a fine sentiment coming from you. Georgia 'George' Lass: Excuse me? I am the most... Daisy Adair: Self-involved is what you are, Georgia. You're always in your own head. It's like you're talking to yourself. Georgia 'George' Lass: [thinking] Am I? Mason: She has got a point, Georgie. Daisy Adair, Georgia 'George' Lass: Shut up, Mason. Mason: Fine. Jesus.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Last Call Mason: You are so beautiful to look at. Daisy Adair: And unlucky to know.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Ashes to Ashes George: Generosity is for people who can afford it.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Ashes to Ashes Mason: [to Daisy] You're beautiful, and I love you. I just don't like you anymore.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Death Defying Guy: [Mason and Ray are playing pool when a goon and two buddies approach] Hey. We got next. Ray Summers: [laughs] Take a walk Junior. There's plenty of tables available. Mason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What he said. Guy: Well I like this table. So if you wouldn't mind, FUCKING OFF. Mason: Excuse me. Is it three against two is it? Cause I'll have you know I've had my ass kicked by bigger cock suckers than you all right? Ray Summers: Woah Mason. We don't want any trouble. These folks have next. We'll get out of your way. [grabs pool cue and rams Guy in his nose, knocking him to the floor] Don't tell me to fuck off. I tell people to fuck off. Now fuck off! [Guy leaves and Ray tosses Mason the cue ball] Your break.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Death Defying Ray Summers: [George and Ray are playing darts and Ray sees Mason and Daisy laughing together] So what's that about? Georgia 'George' Lass: Probably you. Ray Summers: I find your friend Daisy painfully attractive. Georgia 'George' Lass: Take a number. Ray Summers: How do you know her? Georgia 'George' Lass: That's none of your fucking business. Ray Summers: You're an angry little thing aren't you? Georgia 'George' Lass: [turns to face him] You call me a "little thing" again and I'll put this fuckin' dart right between your twinkling eyes! Ray Summers: Nother' tequila? Georgia 'George' Lass: Please. [throws dart] So you the love em' and leave em' type? Ray Summers: I've done that. Georgia 'George' Lass: What is up with that? Ray Summers: What's the matter George? A boy not nice to you? Georgia 'George' Lass: [sarcastically] No, I'm good. Ray Summers: I'll bet you are. [turns to bartender] Macy, two more. Ray Summers: Ok George, five reasons men are scum and women let us get away with it. One, we only want one thing. No exceptions. Two, we fall in love with you before we can have that thing and then fall back out once we've had it, whereas women conversely fall in love afterwards. Three, we will lie, cheat, steal, or murder in order to get that thing... Why am I sugarcoating this? You're a big girl. In order to FUCK you. [George's eyes widen] Four, we freely admit the number is one through three, and women don't care. And the number five reason why men are scum and women let us get away with it, you can't live without us. Georgia 'George' Lass: Here's to your bullshit Ray [they clink glasses and drink a shot, then George throws 3 darts, the last one a perfect bullseye] Fuckin' men.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Death Defying Kiffany: What would you like, sweetie? Georgia 'George' Lass: Revenge. Kiffany: [unfazed] We're out of that. Anything else? Georgia 'George' Lass: Oatmeal and raisins.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Be Still My Heart Delores Herbig: [grabbing the defibrillator during a safety drill] There's cheese on these... Who has been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibralator paddles?
	Season 2 / Episode 7: - Rites of Passage George: Every day, I watch people die. Why one death means more than another, I have no idea. I think people need something familiar. Something they can remember.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - In Escrow Georgia 'George' Lass: I'm so fucking smart I scare myself.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Hurry Rube Sofer: I have a question for you. Is everyone in this line an asshole? Cutting Woman: Eh, excuse me? Rube Sofer: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole? Cutting Woman: Eh, no. Rube Sofer: So it’s just you then. Cutting Woman: I have children in the car. Rube Sofer: I have a cake in the oven. He's got three minutes left on the meter, she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Shallow End Roxy: [Slamming a man she is arresting against the hood of her car] Now we can't be friends!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - The Shallow End Mason: I just cannot get over the size of your testicles!
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - Ghost Story Daisy Adair: I died in 1938, for exercise we drank sloe gin and smoked Lucky Strikes.
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - The Ledger Security Expert: RIPOF: Report, Identify, Prove, Ostracize, Fire. George: Rip of? Security Expert: You got a problem there, Millie? George: You misspelled rip off. Dropped an "f". Security Expert: Oh, I see. We have ourselves a smart ass. George: Don't you mean "smart as"?
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Send in the Clown Mason: [referring to Roxie's attempt to stab his hand for taking her hash browns] I've never seen such violence over such small potatoes.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Send in the Clown George: [voice over] Look at those lips. I just want to bite your face. I wanna tear your skin off and make pajamas out of them and wear them to bed.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Send in the Clown Daisy Adair: These are all at the Farmer's Market in exactly 27 minutes, I smell a disaster Mason: No, 5 deaths is not a disaster. George: How many deaths is a disaster? Mason: More than five, five's bullshit. George: How many? Mason: 16-20 disaster, 21 and up, catastrophe, 8-15 is a calamity. Rube Sofer: Seven and under? Mason: That's a crying shame.
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Send in the Clown George: Life sucks, and then you die--and then it still sucks.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Rest in Peace George: The day I dropped out of college, I remember lying on my bed. My mother came into my room and she had been crying. She stared at me for a long time and then she said, 'You only have one shot at life, Georgia. This is no dress rehearsal,' and I said,'You know what, mom. Maybe I don't even want to be in the play.' Two months later I was killed. I wonder sometimes if someone was listening.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Vacation Roxy: [she is reading the final thoughts of the deceased as Rube enters them into a database] "It's freezing." "Mama, oh, mama." "I give up." "Fuck. It's just seaweed." Rube: What pile is this? Roxy: Mid-ocean deaths.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Vacation Rube: [to George] Where's the fire? Mason: [indirectly to Daisy] It's in my pants. Daisy Adair: [to Mason] It's called syphillis.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Vacation Daisy Adair: Everybody's thoughts are the same, two thirds are people who regret the rest are people who forgot to do stuff or are praying or are alone. Shouldn't there be more? More piles, More Words, More thoughts And then, and then you die. And you might become a reaper and the magic of creation well that turns out to be a 9-5 job with lots of paper work it's just, it's so, it's so everyday. How do you know that's true? Maybe we just move to one filing job to the next, Oh my god were all Temps.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Vacation George: Maybe Death was the Temp job and life was a vacation. A Vacation we were supposed to spend with the people you loved, with people who loved you. And if life was that kind of vacation what then? What would your last thoughts be then?
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Vacation George: [voice over] It was strange to think that while we got to work, all over town, death was taking a break. Not that anyone noticed. Death is kind of like sex in high school. If you knew how many times you missed having it, you'd be paralysed.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Nighthawks Mason: [meeting Rube in the diner] It's one o'clock in the fucking morning, what in fucking hell is so fucking important, for fuck's sake? Rube: [chuckles] I'd like to see if you can use that word one more time.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Nighthawks Roxy: You know what your problem is? You wake up every morning wondering what the world is going to do for you. Wonder who is going to bend over backwards, kiss your ass and make you happy, when you should just thank God for another day and leave it the fuck at that.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - Business Unfinished Rube: 'cause life is too short - and death is too long.

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