Dave the Barbarian Quotes

Dave the Barbarian

- Episode Quotes

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Dave the Barbarian Quotes

	Season 1 / Episode 16: - A Pig's Story Candy: [speaking about naming Halloween] We're in a hall... Full of weenies... Let's call it... ARBOR DAY!
	Unknown Episode: Fang: I AM NOT A MONKEY!
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Beejabbers!
	Unknown Episode: Chuckles the Silly Piggy: I'm the master of all evil. THE MASTER OF ALL EVIL! I can't help it if I have an adorably, curly tail.
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Ready, Lula? Lula the Magic Sword: I refuse to come out like this. Dave: What's wrong? Lula the Magic Sword: Her ladyship thought I needed a more "civilized" look. Dave: Are those roses? Lula the Magic Sword: Yes. Dave: Cause I'm ALLERGIC TO ROSES.
	Unknown Episode: Candy: Don't mess with the prin-cess.
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: And so, the battle rages on and on, month after month, year after year... Dave: Uh, it's only been five minutes. Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Storyteller: I don't know why I try.
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Alas, poor Danish. What is thy filling? Just ask the Danish prince. You're filled with... [singing] Cheese and sugar / cheese and sugar / with the texture / of a booger...
	Unknown Episode: Dave: [to Lula] Come on! Do one of those magic energy blast dealies. Lula the Magic Sword: What? And get a nasty letter from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dragons?
	Unknown Episode: Candy: Ooh, the new goats are in.
	Unknown Episode: Candy: This is my secret princess pad. Absolutely NOBODY else knows it's here. Oswidge: Sorry, the upstairs one wasn't working.
	Unknown Episode: Chuckles the Silly Piggy: Ooooooh, my little piggy ribcage!
	Unknown Episode: Dave: AHHHHHHHHH! Polar Bear 1: What was that? Polar Bear 2: If it ain't fish, I ain't interested, that's my motto.
	Unknown Episode: Chuckles the Silly Piggy: Here's a fork so you can EAT YOUR WORDS!
	Unknown Episode: Chuckles the Silly Piggy: [after being crushed by an ogre] You crushed my little piggy spleen!
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I had that dream again. You know. The one where I do obscene things to penguins with a croquet mallet. Candy: We definitely need to get you out of the stable more.
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Faffy couldn't help but to wonder: would the other dragons like him? Would they be nice to him or would they poke him and call him Jasper?
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Can you keep him busy? I've got a plan. Fang: You promise your plan isn't, "I bet I can get away while Fang keeps him busy"? Dave: Promise.
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Why should I help her? Fang: I think you already know the answer. Dave: Right. Because Candy's my sister, and family is very important. Fang: I was gonna say because if he didn't, I'd rip off his head and play volleyball with it, but I like his version better.
	Unknown Episode: Bogmelon: It also works on armpits!
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: ...For it is they, they who will suffer! Candy: Whatever. Can we go now? Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: Yeah.
	Unknown Episode: Chuckles the Silly Piggy: Get away! I'm too pink to die!
	Unknown Episode: Dave: But I don't wanna be a barbarian! Fang: You did when you were ten! Dave: Yes, but I thought it meant a librarian that also cuts hair.
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I made you a song... of joy. Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: [singing] I had a dream about... some shrieking rats / With red hot pokers, and big pointy hats / They didn't listen to my cries... or screams / But took their nastiness to wild extremes!
	Unknown Episode: Dave: [trying to hide Faffy from Strom the Slayer in a fish bowl] You're going to have to give up this whole breathing thing.
	Unknown Episode: Candy: He was your first owner? [pointing to Argon] Psshaw, you're like, 20,000 years old. Lula the Magic Sword: [preparing to fire energy beam] [shouts] What's your point? Candy: Uhh... you don't look a day older than 16,000.
	Unknown Episode: Candy: Okay, I've figured out a way to get you and Argon back together, but you have to utterly respect my every decision. Lula the Magic Sword: How about, instead I don't? Candy: Works for me.
	Unknown Episode: Oswidge: Wow, it's a whole new kind of music! I'm gonna call it Rock & Roll, because it was like being hit with a rock, and I'm hungry for a roll.
	Unknown Episode: Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: And so, with a speed Dave usually reserves for fleeing in terror.
	Unknown Episode: Dave: Go team!

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