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Characters: #5 of 6 (Full List)
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 | Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Story of D Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, Daria, congratulations. A published story, that's amazing. Daria Morgendorffer: Um, it's not exactly published. I sent it in, but I haven't heard back. Kevin Thompson: Then why are you telling everybody that it's been published? Jane Lane: Oh, you know Daria and her compulsive need to impress. Brittany Taylor: Oh. But then instead of making up stuff about writing, shouldn't you pick something good? Daria Morgendorffer: How's this? During the day, I'm a mild-mannered student. But at night, I fight crime in a stretchy-stretchy costume. |
| Season 1 / Episode 13: - The Misery Chick Jane: I don't think he likes you. Daria: That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that jerk is going to be treated like a hero for the rest of this life. Jane: Well, maybe he won't live that long. Daria: Come on. You know wishes don't come true. Kevin Thompson: [Off screen] Oh, my God! The goal post fell! Tommy Sherman's dead! [Sobbing] He's dead! |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Big House Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, Daria. What do you have in the DeMartino pool? Daria: I'm not going. I'm grounded. Jodie Abigail Landon: [Jodie, Mack and Kevin Laugh] What did *you* do to get grounded? No offense. Daria: None taken, especially since I'm just the victim of a bizarre experiment in parental justice. Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: An experiment? On you? Daria: Yeah, they deliberately exposed me to jurisprudence. Kevin Thompson: Whoa! That's a little twisted. Daria: Yeah. The sad part is that these are the people responsible for my genetic makeup. [Jodie and Mack laugh; Kevin looks frightened] |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Big House Kevin Thompson: Then she said her parents are trying to change her generic makeup or something! Brittany Taylor: They really should. I hate that generic makeup. It gives me hives! Kevin Thompson: But it's so freaky, babe, I mean, she's weird enough as it is. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Lab Brats Ms. Janet Barch: Now, before I divide the class into teams of two, who can give me another example of reinforcement? [Nobody in the class answers] Fine, class. Ignore me... just like he did! Kevin? Kevin Thompson: Uh... Ms. Janet Barch: Shut up, Kevin! Daria? Reinforcement? Daria Morgendorffer: Hmm... to make a child stop crying, a mother might say, "That's it! I'm sending you to El Paso to live with your real father." Whenever the child gets upset, the mother might wave an airline ticket in her face, or maybe even frame it on the wall by the clown picture. The ticket stops the girl from crying, or showing any emotion... ever. Ms. Janet Barch: Right, that's... Daria Morgendorffer: Years later, seeing an airplane or just hearing one fly overhead can unleash a Pandora's Box of repressed anger, shattering the grown child's fragile psyche and triggering a psychotic and possibly deadly episode. |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Lab Brats Daria Morgendorffer: In conclusion, this mouse - through no fault of my own, *Brittany* - was repeatedly abused by a ten-year-old boy. As a result, the mouse's primary response to everyday stimuli is fear. Similar reactions also occur in humans. Take the mugging victim, beaten with nunchaku in an alleyway. As he, or she, recalls the attacker's face - his scraggly goatee and cheap, dangly earring - she learns to hate and fear all men, regardless of age, race or taste in jewelry. Kevin Thompson: Really? Ms. Janet Barch: Don't interrupt, hateful scum. Excellent job, Daria. You get an "A." Kevin Thompson: Alright! Ms. Janet Barch: Not you, you man. You get a "D." Kevin Thompson: Alright! |
| Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Lab Brats Kevin Thompson: You know, Daria, I really liked hanging out at your house and working on the maze thing. Daria Morgendorffer: Yeah, the week just flew by. It was like you were hardly there. Kevin Thompson: Thanks. Hey, Daria? Daria Morgendorffer: Yes? Kevin Thompson: I'm having a big party Friday, and I want a lot of cool people there. Could you... Daria Morgendorffer: Yes? Kevin Thompson: ...ask Quinn if she could make it? |
| Season 1 / Episode 5: - Malled Kevin Thompson: Mack-Daddy, did you hear what Mrs. B called the mall? Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: She said "organism". That's not the same as "orgasm". And stop calling me that, okay? |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - College Bored Brittany Taylor: [Brittany and Kevin are reenacting Romeo and Juliet, with Brittany on a folding ladder] Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Kevin Thompson: [Holding skull] I'm right here, babe! [Football players can be heard cheering Kevin on] Brittany Taylor: Deny thy father and refuse thy name! Or thou will't not be but sworn, my love, and I'll no longer be a caplet [sic] ! Kevin Thompson: Hey! Yo! I'm down here! Check it out! Brittany Taylor: Check it out? You promised to learn your lines, you, you clown! And what's that skull supposed to be? [Brittany storms off and sighs in frustration] |
| Previous: Jake Morgendorffer | Next: Brittany Taylor |
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