Jane Lane

Daria

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Played by:

Wendy Hoopes

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Jane Lane Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 6: - Lucky Strike Ms. Angela Li: Students of Lawndale High. Jane Lane: Is that the voice in my head that tells me to kill and kill again? Daria Morgendorffer: No. Satan's voice is lower, and he has an English accent.
	Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Story of D Joey: "An Ode to Aubergine?" Jamie: "A Good Pluck?" Jeffy: "Please Remember to Blush?" Jane Lane: There must be a lot going on in the boys' room that we don't know about. Daria Morgendorffer: And really, that's as it should be.
	Season 5 / Episode 5: - The Story of D Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, Daria, congratulations. A published story, that's amazing. Daria Morgendorffer: Um, it's not exactly published. I sent it in, but I haven't heard back. Kevin Thompson: Then why are you telling everybody that it's been published? Jane Lane: Oh, you know Daria and her compulsive need to impress. Brittany Taylor: Oh. But then instead of making up stuff about writing, shouldn't you pick something good? Daria Morgendorffer: How's this? During the day, I'm a mild-mannered student. But at night, I fight crime in a stretchy-stretchy costume.
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Dye! Dye! My Darling! Trent Lane: Hey, you know, about Tom and all... it'll be okay. Jane Lane: Yeah, some part of me knows that. Some part of me is actually saying that breaking up is right. Trent Lane: Maybe it is. Jane Lane: So how come every five minutes I feel like I'm going to throw up? Trent Lane: I don't know. You haven't been eating out of the refrigerator again, have you? Jane Lane: [smiles] Idiot.
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Dye! Dye! My Darling! Daria Morgendorffer: So... what happens now? Jane Lane: I was hoping you knew. Daria Morgendorffer: Are we still friends? Daria Morgendorffer: Are we? Jane Lane: Yeah. We're the kind of friends who can't stand the sight of each other. Daria Morgendorffer: Temporarily, right? Jane Lane: I hope so, Daria.
	Season 4 / Episode 13: - Dye! Dye! My Darling! Jane Lane: Maybe we'd better to talk about this later. Daria Morgendorffer: There's nothing to talk about. You're delusional. Jane Lane: Oh, well, in that case, I can just talk to myself about it.
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - Mart of Darkness Jane Lane: [sneaks up to Andrea] Caught ya! Daria Morgendorffer: [Andrea turns around] Andrea? Andrea: Well, you found me... Now you can make fun of the pathetic goth chick who's parents make her work at a crappy job in a stupid warehouse store. Go on, cut me up like you do everyone else... Daria Morgendorffer: ...I just want a shoelace. Jane Lane: Besides, I don't think we can cut you up anymore than you just did.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Jane's Addition Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: Hey. Jane Lane: Hey. Daria Morgendorffer: What are you doing here? Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: Those really good friends of mine - they totally blew me off. I figured you guys might be here. Jane Lane: Well, pull up a bench. We'll order another pie. Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: No, I'll just get a slice. I'm only going to stay a minute. Daria Morgendorffer: Wanna borrow my stopwatch? Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: Hey, Daria, if you want me to leave, just say so. Daria Morgendorffer: Okay, bye now. Jane Lane: Hey, come on, Daria. I thought we were going to see a movie. Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: What movie? Daria Morgendorffer: It's called "The Big Chick Movie That Appeals Only to Girls and Makes Men and Boys Vomit." Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: Hey, Daria, did I say I wanted to go to the movie with you? Daria Morgendorffer: No, but you never mentioned wanting to horn in on our pizza time, either. Thomas 'Tom' Sloane: Daria, you're so darn pleasant and friendly, I don't see how anyone could resist an evening with you. But just on a crazy whim, I think I'll go home and watch TV by myself.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Ill Daria Morgendorffer: Look, I'm sorry about last night. Jane Lane: Aw, forget it. It was a rare opportunity, getting to hang out with Brittany in a grunge club. Although her hair did leak onto my shoes. Daria Morgendorffer: You're sure that wasn't her brain? Jane Lane: No, there was too much of it.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Ill Brittany Taylor: Jane? Jane Lane: Brittany? What happened to your hair? Brittany Taylor: Never mind that now. Have you seen... [whispers] Daria? Jane Lane: Why would you want... Daria? Brittany Taylor: What makes you think I want her? I don't want her. Jane Lane: You asked me if I'd seen her. Brittany Taylor: She hasn't told you anything... interesting about me, has she? Jane Lane: No one's ever told me anything interesting about you. Brittany Taylor: That's a relief. Jane Lane: Anyway, she'll be back in a day or two. She's in the hospital while they check out that ra... rare condition. Brittany Taylor: Condition? Jane Lane: Yeah, she's come down with a slight case of, um, brain fever. It's a thing that brains get. Brittany Taylor: Wow, that sounds serious. Jane Lane: No, no, usually if you just read a best-seller it'll go away. So, um, no need to mention it to anyone. I'll tell her you asked about her. Brittany Taylor: Just ask her if she remembers our deal. Jane Lane: What deal? Jane Lane: What deal? Jane Lane: The deal you just mentioned. Brittany Taylor: I didn't say anything about a deal. Forget I said anything about a deal. Jane Lane: Forget I said anything about a hospital. Brittany Taylor: Okay! Jane Lane: Hey! Now we have a deal. Brittany Taylor: What deal? Jane Lane: Later.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Ill Brittany Taylor: [Brittany goes to visit Daria in the hospital] Daria? Daria Morgendorffer: Brittany? What are you doing here? Brittany Taylor: Um, I just wanted to thank you for not going back on our deal, and I thought I might find Jane here and tell her I did kind of go back on our deal, but I also kind of went back on your part of our deal so there's no use in you doing that. Jane Lane: We had a deal?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - I Don't Jane Lane: [Daria is trying on bridesmaid dresses] [In Southern accent] Oh Scarlett, you grow lovelier by the day! Daria Morgendorffer: I will kill you. And bury your body in this dress.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - I Don't Daria Morgendorffer: [Brittany and Jodie see Daria and Jane in the wedding dress store] Daria? Brittany Taylor, Daria Morgendorffer: What are you doing here? Jane Lane: Isn't is obvious? An Arab sheik's in town to buy a few more wives. Brittany Taylor: They're putting on a bridal expo in the gym. We're modeling! Daria Morgendorffer: A bridal expo? That's a good message to send to high school students. Jodie Abigail Landon: It's a fundraiser for extracurricular activities. Jane Lane: I wonder what kind of extracurricular activities would lead to a wedding...
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - I Don't Brittany Taylor: What about you? Are you in a play or something? Daria Morgendorffer: Yes, I'm playing Mrs. Lincoln before she went crazy. Brittany Taylor: I didn't know she went crazy! Jane Lane: Oh, yeah. That's why Lincoln shot himself. Brittany Taylor: Wow...! Jodie Abigail Landon: Come on, Brittany. Let's finish out fitting, and I'll tell you all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died. Brittany Taylor: You mean the bullet didn't kill him...?
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Arts 'n' Crass Jane Lane: Can she do that? Daria Morgendorffer: No, this is all a bad dream brought on by too much pene a la pesto. Jane Lane: Do we have any recourse or anything? I mean, cant we talk to Mr. O'Neil Daria Morgendorffer: We could appeal to him, and he might turn the full force of his overwhelming personality to Ms. Li, and then she'd eat him. Jane Lane: Well, what about your mother? Daria Morgendorffer: How about yours? Jane Lane: My mother's a little preoccupied right now. She's tracking down the source of a disturbing heat variation in her kiln. But your mother is a lawyer. Daria Morgendorffer: Yeah, a mother that thinks it's a good idea for me to get involved in the poster contest... [sighs] The systems failed us... Jane Lane: The system sucks. We're going to have to go outside the system... Daria Morgendorffer: You don't mean... Jane Lane: Yes.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Big House Jane Lane: So, basically, you've convinced them that you were too dull to be worth grounding. Daria: Exactly, and the sad thing is, it's kinda true.
	Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Big House Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, you guys wanna buy tickets for the faculty-DJ roller hockey game? Daria: Are you kidding? Jane Lane: We'll take two. Daria: What? You're gonna pay to watch teachers skate around with DJs? Classic rock DJs? Jodie Abigail Landon: You weren't here last year, Daria. Mr. Anthony DeMartino: [flashback: Mr. DeMartino pushes puck along the floor, and is body-checked by Rock & Roll Randy] Argh! [clutches chest and collapses to floor] Randy: Rock and roll, foreva! Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Help... me... ! [Flashback ends] Jodie Abigail Landon: Mr. DeMartino had to have an emergency angioplasty. He almost died. Jane Lane: But a voice told him that his work here on Earth wasn't finished. Some of the students weren't wetting the bed yet. This year, he's more determined than ever to snatch victory from the jaws of death. Mr. Anthony DeMartino: [Cut to Mr. DeMartino on exercise equipment, suspended upside-down by his feet and doing sit-ups] Three hundred ninety-eight... three hundred ninety-nine... fooouuur hundred! Ahh... Rock & Roll Randy, this year you're mine. [cut ends] Daria: What are you saying? Jodie Abigail Landon: You know how there are people who go to car races on the chance that they might see a crash? Daria: I'm in.
	Season 1 / Episode 7: - The Lab Brats Brittany Taylor: If you think you're going to take Kevin away from me, you're wrong. Because he's my Kevin, and you're, you're a... a brain! Daria Morgendorffer: You know, Brittany, that was actually a very astute observation about the likelihood of my dating your boyfriend. Jane Lane: Or is it former boyfriend?
	Unknown Episode: Jane Lane: [halfheartedly, trying out for the cheerleading squad] Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all goin' to Hell.
	Unknown Episode: Jane Lane: [halfheartedly, trying out for the cheerleading squad] Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all goin' to Hell.
	Unknown Episode: Jane Lane: [halfheartedly, trying out for the cheerleading squad] Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all goin' to Hell.

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