Colonel K

Danger Mouse (UK)

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Played by:

Edward Kelsey

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Colonel K Quotes

	Season 10 / Episode 5: - Pillow Fright! Colonel K: [on video phone] Good show, well, let you get on, then. Rover, hoover and hodge. Danger Mouse: Yes sir, Rover, hoover and hodge to you to.
	Season 10 / Episode 1: - Crumhorn Strikes Back! Colonel K: [on video phone] And jolly nice postcard out of the Big Pear. Danger Mouse: Big Apple, colonel. Colonel K: Oh, no thanks, just had me lunch.
	Season 9 / Episode 2: - Bigfoot Falls Colonel K: [on video phone] The fate of Canada is in your hands, DM. Penfold: And the feet of DM are in my hands. [laughs] Danger Mouse: Penfold, put my boots down, and another thing... Penfold: Yes, I know... [throws DM's boot's over his shoulders] Danger Mouse, Penfold: Shush.
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - Gremlin Alert Danger Mouse: [reporting to Colonel K] And he simply went off, pop, Colonel. Colonel K: [on video phone] Yes, remarkable. I went off pop when I was about 14. Went in for Dandylion and Birdoff, don't you know.
	Season 8 / Episode 1: - Gremlin Alert Colonel K: Look DM, there's been no sign of sunshine for six days, and it's getting worse by the second. The day shift's refusing to go to work, and Herod's is sold out of nightshirts! Danger Mouse: Good grief.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - Penfold, B.F. The Blue Flash: [Penfold has transformed into a superhero] Haha! Now you have no need to fear, your hero the Blue Flash is here. Fruit drops! [flies off straight through the ceiling] Danger Mouse: Oh no. I had to put a bucket under there last time it rained. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] By Jove, DM. That's astounding. Danger Mouse: No, I think it's just a crack in the pillar box lid, sir.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - Penfold, B.F. Penfold: [a stray carrier pigeon has to be found and caught] Is that it? Colonel K: [stutters] Well, eh, erm, yes. Penfold: No monsters, bandits, evil toads or vicious mechalomaniac Martians? Colonel K: No. Penfold: I'll do the job, sir. Into battle! Over the top. Erm, I'll just go get my pigeon net.
	Season 6 / Episode 25: - Penfold, B.F. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Ah, DM. Good show. We've got a communication problem. Danger Mouse: Communication problem, sir? Colonel K: Yes. Got a most top four star super secret secret message on it's way to H.Q.
	Season 6 / Episode 23: - Tut, Tut, It's Not Pharaoh Danger Mouse: Then we handed Greenback and his crew to the local police, sir. Colonel K: [on tiny viewscreen] Good show. And the amulet? Danger Mouse: Ehm... ehm.. well, ehm... Penfold: He lost it. Danger Mouse: Yes, alright, Penfold, I was going to tell him. Colonel K: Don't worry DM, as long as the world thinks we have it, no one will ever think of searching the pyramid again. So mum's the word. Danger Mouse: Don't you mean mummy's the word, Colonel? [snickers at his own pun] Colonel K: What, why? Oh I see, it's one of your little jokes. Penfold: Yes. Very little. Almost invisible. Danger Mouse: Penfold... Penfold: I know. shush.
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - `Ee! Tea! Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Reports flooding in that every cuppa in the land's gone off. Danger Mouse: Good grief! Colonel K: Country's grinding to a standstill! Civil service's gone totally uncivil. Plummers standing weeping in the streets, long distance lorry drivers refusing to budge. Country's in chaos, DM, absolute, bally chaos!
	Season 6 / Episode 20: - `Ee! Tea! Danger Mouse: [reporting to Colonel K] We used the frisbee effect. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Frisbee effect? Danger Mouse: Yes, sir. I detached the lid, popped Penfold aboard and chucked it Earthwards and I hopped on. Colonel K: I'm not sure that that makes sense, DM. Danger Mouse: Well it is a cartoon, sir.
	Season 6 / Episode 19: - The Clock Strikes Back! Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Ah DM, good show. Got a kneegermancy. Penfold: Ah what? Colonel K: Well, that's what agent 57's message says. Danger Mouse: Hm, could that be an emergency, sir? Colonel K: By Jove, yes! Well spotted, DM. Danger Mouse: What is the problem, sir? Colonel K: Oh, well, Miss Boathook got's the week off and we've got this new typist in gets all the words mixed up and the wrong way round. Danger Mouse: No, no sir, I mean what's the emergency?
	Season 6 / Episode 17: - The Good, the Bad and the Motionless Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Ah, DM, good show, erm, where's Penfold? Danger Mouse: Well, it's Hallowe'en, sir, so he's carving up a swede. Colonel K: Good heavens, DM. I didn't even know he could play tennis. Danger Mouse: Tennis? What, oh no, not Bjorn Borg, not that kind of Swede, it's the vegetable kind.
	Season 6 / Episode 15: - Beware of Mexicans Delivering Milk Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Good heavens, DM, whatever's the matter? Where's that stiff upper lip? Danger Mouse: It's gone all floppy, Colonel. And so have I...
	Season 6 / Episode 10: - Quark! Quark! Isambard Sinclair, narrator: London and in moneyed Mayfair, within a perpendicular peculiar pillar-box, disguised domicile of the death defying duo Dangermouse the Daring and Penfold, the pathetic. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Ah, DM. Good show. Danger Mouse: Yes, colonel? Colonel K: Our spotters have spied a space ship. Danger Mouse: Spied a spaceship? Colonel K: Precisely.
	Season 6 / Episode 10: - Quark! Quark! Colonel K: I say, did you chaps get an alien chappy on your screen just now? Penfold: Aye. Eh, yes colonel.
	Season 6 / Episode 2: - Viva Danger Mouse Danger Mouse: Is, is that you sir? Colonel K: [on viewscreen] 'Course it's me. Danger Mouse: Yes sir, I can't see your face, sir. Colonel K: That's because I'm standing up. Penfold: Cor, it's alright, Colonel, I'm not that famous. Colonel K: I am standing up, Penfold, because I can't sit down. Someone has stuffed the most important seat cushions in the land with cactus.
	Season 5 / Episode 10: - Nero Power Danger Mouse: Good grief, sir, Baron Greenback wants to meet me under a flag of truce? Penfold: Aw, isn't that nice? Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Wants to meet both of you. Penfold too. Penfold: Oh. On second thought, it could be a trap.
	Season 5 / Episode 10: - Nero Power Danger Mouse: Where's the rendezvous, Colonel? Colonel K: Ah. Hasn't come back from the cleaners yet. But he wants to at the old deserted fun fair on the outskirts of Willesden Green. Danger Mouse: Oh, that should be fun. Penfold: But I bet it won't be fair.
	Season 5 / Episode 8: - The Man From Gadget Danger Mouse: So now we know where Greenback's latest hideway is. Colonel K: Exactly. What's more, this time Greenback doesn't know that we know he doesn't know, you know. Danger Mouse: No? Penfold: No.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Remote-Controlled Chaos Colonel K: Now, DM, this is from our White Hall look out. Danger Mouse: Yes, Colonel K, what is it? Colonel K: Look out. Danger Mouse: Look out, sir? Colonel K: Look out or the window at Ten Downing Street, and you'll see a whacking great tank pointing a gun at the door.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - The Aliens are Coming Isambard Sinclair, narrator: London, and behind the drawn curtains of a typical Ministery of Defence mark 5 simulated letter box, there is a sense of urgency, for this is the Mayfair home of Dangermouse, the world's greatest secret agent, and Penfold, the world's worst assistant, where even now, Colonel K is contacting the charismatic companions with a confidential communication. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Just had this amazing message from the United Nations, DM. Penfold: Oh, can I have the stamp? Danger Mouse: Penfold, shush.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Tiptoe Through the Penfolds Danger Mouse: What's the problem, Colonel? Colonel K: [on viewscreen] I don't like the look of the Albert Hall. Danger Mouse: No, well, It's not the way I would have build it, either. Colonel K: No, no, DM, I mean I don't like the way it's behaving. It's swelling like a balloon and quivering like a jelly.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Tiptoe Through the Penfolds Danger Mouse: Don't worry, sir, I'll sort it out. I'll have to do it on my own, mind you, Penfold is reading his paper on cowardice without guild to the Annual Conference of Cowards Anonymous. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Where are they holding it? Danger Mouse: Oh, the usual place. Colonel K: Ah, the Chicken farm. Danger Mouse: Yes. Still, it means I'll get the job done quicker, sir. I'll report back in an hour.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Tiptoe Through the Penfolds Isambard Sinclair, narrator: Within twenty four hours the menace has passed. And not only that, but the multiple Penfolds have totally evaporated. Danger Mouse: So, the multiple Penfolds have totally evaporated, sir. Colonel K: Yes, I heard.
	Season 4 / Episode 9: - Public Enemy No. 1 Colonel K: Well, while you've been sleeping it off, the blighters pinched the Eiffel Tower, emptied Fort Knox, held up Concorde, corloined the Mona Lisa and stolen the Maharaja of Dehli's gold encrusted wellies! Penfold: Ooh, that is naughty!
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Tower of Terror Danger Mouse: [flying the Mark 5] Reading you loud and clear, Colonel. Colonel K: [on video phone] Never mind that, DM. There's work to do. Danger Mouse: [almost inaudible] Good grief.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - 150 Million Years Lost Isambard Sinclair, narrator: [Danger Mouse and Penfold are asleep on their couch] Unceasingly alert for danger, our heroes are even now... eh... training to... see in the dark. Penfold: [the video phone alarm goes off] Eh chief, it's Colonel K. Danger Mouse: Danger Mouse here, sir. Colonel K: Good show, DM. Eh, you're faithful assistant standing by? Danger Mouse: Yes sir, he's here. Colonel K: Oh well, can't be helped. Penfold: Eh?
	Season 2 / Episode 2: - Close Encounters of the Absurd Kind Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Good show, DM. Got a problem only you can solve. Danger Mouse: But I put new batteries in your video game last week sir. Colonel K: [on viewscreen] No, no, no, worse than that. Danger Mouse: Good grief, sir.
	Season 1 / Episode 8: - Lord Of The Bungle Colonel K: [on viewscreen] Ah, DM. Good show. Something funny just happened. Danger Mouse: Funny peculiar or funny ha ha, Colonel? Colonel K: Bit of both.

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