Dallas Quotes

Dallas

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 14 / Episode 21: - The Decline and Fall of the Ewing Empire Cliff Barnes: [Cliff just caught his secretary taking down the Ewing Oil sign] What is going on here? Jackie Dugan: I thought now that you own Ewing Oil, you'd want to change the name. Cliff Barnes: Are you crazy? Not only do I want the name to stay 'Ewing Oil', but I want it to say 'Cliff Barnes, President' right underneath. Then I'm going to take a picture of it and send it to J.R. every year on his birthday.
	Season 14 / Episode 12: - Designing Women Lee Ann De La Vega: Lee Ann Nelson should have known better than to kiss a toad named J.R. Ewing!
	Season 14 / Episode 7: - The Fabulous Ewing Boys JR Ewing: [to James] You got no morals, you got no scruples, You may just be worthy of me yet.
	Season 12 / Episode 26: - Reel Life Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: You have nothing to worry about. I have no intention of releasing the film - at the moment. J.R.: What the hell does that mean? Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: It means the movie will be locked securely in a vault. However, if I think you're coming after me - or if you cross me for any reason - or if I feel you're not doing well for John Ross, or anyone else for that matter- or if I get up on the wrong side of the bed one morning - or if I'm simply bored - then I will release the movie. And then, J.R., you will be the laughing stock of Texas.
	Season 12 / Episode 11: - The Two Mrs. Ewings Calpurnia Elizabeth 'Callie' Harper Ewing: Golly, you're nothing like what J.R said. He said you were a hopeless drunk who cheated on him and neglected his child. Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: [to J.R] And what Junior High School did you get this one from?
	Season 12 / Episode 1: - Carousel Lucy Ewing Cooper: I can't believe you shot him three times and missed. Next time let me know and I'll help steady the gun.
	Season 10 / Episode 29: - Fall of the House of Ewing Jeremy Wendell: [referring to the portrait of Jock] Now. It's time to take this eyesore down. JR Ewing: Wendell, you touch that painting and I'll kill you where you stand! JR Ewing: [to John Ross] You see this, son. This is Ewing Oil.
	Season 10 / Episode 29: - Fall of the House of Ewing Pamela Barnes Ewing: [driving in her car, talking to Bobby on the phone] The doctor says everything looks fine, he thinks I can carry a baby the full term! Bobby Ewing: Oh honey, that's wonderful! Pamela Barnes Ewing: How's Christopher? Bobby Ewing: He's great! We spend the whole day together! Pamela Barnes Ewing: You know Bobby we both better spend more time with him especially now... Bobby Ewing: Pam, he's going to be fine. Now you hurry up and get home, if we're going to have another baby we've got some work to do! Pamela Barnes Ewing: Well if that’s the case I'll be home in ten minutes, bye!
	Season 9 / Episode 31: - Blast From the Past J.R.: [Angelica secretly arms the bomb in her suitcase and hands it to J.R] This stuff looks authentic... Angelica Nero: I guarantee you it is! J.R.: You had me worried there for a while, Angelica Nero: About what? J.R.: About doing business with the woman wanted for murder... Angelica Nero: I'm not wanted for murder... I am wanted for questioning. J.R.: Same difference! If you weren't guilty. you'd answer those questions, Angelica Nero: Let's just say that if I did not kill them, somebody else would have... they deserved to die! As do you and Jack! J.R.: Does that mean you're going to kill Jack and me too? Angelica Nero: Some day probably... J.R.: [Presses his intercom on his desk] Well boys if that isn't enough I don't know what is! Angelica Nero: What are you doing? J.R.: Well I asked some friends of mine to come in to listen to this, just in case you know? Angelica Nero: [Det. Harry McSween enters and restrains Angelica] Call them off! J.R.: Well he's just doing duty, I can't interfere! Angelica Nero: Call them off if you don't want to die! J.R.: You get all you needed? Det. Harry McSween: We got plenty! Angelica Nero: You fool! You're as good as dead and so is Jack if he isn't dead already! J.R.: Get her out of here! Angelica Nero: I just want you to know it's too late! It's too late J.R! IT'S TOO LATE! J.R.: [Angelica is dragged from the office] Too late? My God Jack!
	Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Oil Baron's Ball Lucy Ewing Cooper: Charlie, that's an unusual name.
	Season 4 / Episode 1: - No More Mister Nice Guy (1) John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Your husband may be dying and you're out gallivanting around someplace. Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: I wasn't gallivanting. John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Then where were you? Kristin Shepard #2: Sue Ellen was sick. John Ross 'Jock' Ewing, Sr.: Sick. You mean DRUNK!
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - A House Divided Kristin Shepard #2: I'll kill him. I swear I'll kill him. Alan Beam: Take a number. There are a few of us ahead of you.
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - A House Divided Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing: I want to tell you something, Dr Elby. You have been right all along. I can't rely on anyone else to do what I have to do.
	Season 3 / Episode 25: - A House Divided Vaughn Leland: IT WAS CROOKED! And I believe you knew that! You'll regret this! J.R.: Is that a threat Vaughn? Vaughn Leland: A Promise!
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Rodeo JR Ewing: DOn't worry, darlin'! Just pretend I'm that cowboy!
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Kidnapped Pamela Barnes Ewing: JR, it sounds like Cliff was almost killed out there today. John Ross 'J.R.' Ewing, Jr.: Are you kidding? With me out there, Cliff was never safer in his life.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Fallen Idol Pamela Barnes Ewing #1: It must be a strain always being so charming all the time. The Guzzler: As a matter of fact, it is.
	Unknown Episode: J.R.: Barnes just broke the cardinal rule in politics: never get caught in bed with a dead woman or a live man.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Ray never was comfortable eating with the family; we do use knives and forks.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Lots of men have tried to run roughshod over me. You can visit them in the cemetery.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ole J.R. Ewing.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: So, you just remember who you're working for, keep a civil tongue in your head, and try to answer my questions with a bit of civility.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: You know, Sue Ellen, I do believe you're going ninety miles an hour toward a nervous breakdown. We're going to have to do something about your ravings.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Go to bed Sue Ellen, there's nothing uglier than a woman who can't handle her liquor!
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: I wouldn't give you the dust off my car.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Don't worry about her; the good Lord has ways of looking after drunks like her!
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Sue Ellen, you're a drunk, a tramp, and an unfit mother.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: That's O.K. honey, Bobby doesn't have a capacity to forgive and forget like I do. That's a shame, damn shame.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: [to Marilee Stone] By the way honey, your a little too old to be running around without your clothes on.
	Unknown Episode: JR Ewing: Marilee, if you don't hurry, someone else is gonna get your street corner.

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