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Fun Facts:» Trivia» Quotes » Goofs |
 | Unknown Episode: Steven Mitchell: You know what happens when you assume? Pete Peters: Yeah. You end up pulling the plug on your wife when all she really wanted was a glass of water. |
| Unknown Episode: Dr. Di Napoli: [upon seeing Helen's son Larry all grown up] A fine looking boy. Hey, good thing we didn't go through with it, huh, Helen? |
| Unknown Episode: Al Mitchell: [to a flasher] Well, now I know what Herve Villechaize left you in his will. |
| Unknown Episode: Steven Mitchell: [upon seeing his mother has brought her new boyfriend to the school recital] Omigod! My sphincter just relaxed. Pete Peters: Lucky bastard. |
| Unknown Episode: Steven Mitchell: Dad, please! Don't embarrass me while I'm eating. It's very hard to apologize and swallow at the same time. Although I do recall a very ambivalent stewardess. |
| Unknown Episode: Helen Mitchell: You think I would go to Atlantic City with you? I'd rather be dragged by a car while chewing on aluminum foil. Al Mitchell: Okay. I'll get the car. |
| Unknown Episode: Frank Sinatra: [to Al Mitchell] You stay away from my wife. |
| Unknown Episode: Helen Mitchell: [to Al, her ex-husband] Oh, yeah. You're a great roommate. After living with you for seven days, Anne Frank would have yelled, "Hey, boys! I'm over here!" |
| Unknown Episode: Al Mitchell: I love the Italians. We need the Italians. Who else is gonna sleep with the ugly girls? |
| Unknown Episode: Helen Mitchell: Is good sex too much to ask for before I drop dead? Al Mitchell: I don't know. Why don't you drop dead and find out? |
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