Dr. Spencer Reid

Criminal Minds

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Played by:

Matthew Gray Gubler

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Dr. Spencer Reid Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Reckoner Dr. Spencer Reid: [after Hotch throws him a folder] What's this? Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: You told me you were cleared to travel. You lied. Emily Prentiss: Naughty boy. Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, no I didn't. I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie. Penelope Garcia: What was it then? Dr. Spencer Reid: Um... second opinion? Penelope Garcia: Hmm. You're my bitch now. [leaves the room as Morgan chuckles]
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Reckoner Penelope Garcia: [to Hotch via webcam with Reid] I got something that might help us with that... Dr. Spencer Reid: Technically we have something that might help us with that.
	Season 5 / Episode 3: - Reckoner Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Prentiss via webcam with Garcia] Anything less than 10,000 dollars keeps the IRS off your trail. Penelope Garcia: [desperately] I know that too.
	Season 5 / Episode 2: - Haunted Dr. Spencer Reid: [after Garcia helps him sit down] Thanks. Penelope Garcia: Does it hurt? Dr. Spencer Reid: It really only hurts when I think about it which is pretty much all the time. [starts to snoop in the cookie tin next to him] Penelope Garcia: No, no, no. Get away you. [takes the lid] Dr. Spencer Reid: What? Penelope Garcia: These are for Hotch. Dr. Spencer Reid: I get shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's gonna hate the attention. Penelope Garcia: [puts the lid back on] It's cookies, not cake.
	Season 5 / Episode 1: - Nameless, Faceless Penelope Garcia: [to Reid on the phone] Okay, do you want biological information or full medical charts? Dr. Spencer Reid: Can you get the full medical charts? Penelope Garcia: You know for a smart boy you still ask a lot of dumb questions.
	Season 4 / Episode 24: - Amplification Dr. Spencer Reid: [Reid is being cleaned by a bio hazard team] I'm about to get naked so they can scrub me down. You sure that's something you wanna see?
	Season 4 / Episode 24: - Amplification Dr. Spencer Reid: [wakes up in hospital] Are you eating jello? Derek Morgan: Hey kid. [to the hallway] Hey, Doc. He's awake. Dr. Spencer Reid: [to Morgan] Is there any more jello?
	Season 4 / Episode 22: - The Big Wheel Emily Prentiss: [in the investigation room; looking at Reid] What's missing from the Michelle Watson murder is any sign of rage or overkill. Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, instead on the tape we see signs of remorse. A complete and sudden emotional change. It's absolutely fascinating. Penelope Garcia: [walking over to Prentiss, looking at Reid] I love you, Reid, but the stuff you find fascinating is sad.
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - Pleasure Is My Business Dr. Spencer Reid: 18 cars, 6 houses and 3 boats. Can you even boat in Dallas?
	Season 4 / Episode 8: - Masterpiece Dr. Spencer Reid: [Looking through glass at Professor Rothchild] I never have any normal fans.
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Memoriam Dr. Spencer Reid: [walks into his hotel room with a box, surprised to see Rossi and Morgan there] What are you guys doing here? Derek Morgan: Hey. What's it look like we're doing? Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, breaking into my room and watching Days of Our Lives. David Rossi: The Young and the Restless.
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Memoriam David Rossi: [referring to Reid's father] He's keeping tabs on you. That's saying something. Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah and he Googled me. That makes up for everything.
	Season 4 / Episode 7: - Memoriam Penelope Garcia: Oh, Will he looks just like you. Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Let's hope he grows out of that. Emily Prentiss: Just as long as he doesn't inherit the accent. Dr. Spencer Reid: [from outside the door] Is there room for one more in here? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Spence, hi. Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: [to Reid as he enters] Welcome back. Dr. Spencer Reid: Thanks. [looks at Henry] Wow. [to Will, extending his hand] Congratulations. Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: [takes Reid's hand] Thank you. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [to Reid] How is it that I just went through 15 hours of labor and... you look worse than I do? [laughs] Dr. Spencer Reid: Don't be ridiculous. You look beautiful. Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: Well I could sure use some coffee. Anyone else? Aaron 'Hotch' Hotchner: Sure. Detective William LaMontagne Jr.: My treat. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [after Will, Hotch, Prentiss and Garcia leave; to Reid] You okay? Dr. Spencer Reid: Wow. Yeah, yeah. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You sure? Because there's something I wanted to ask you, but, it can wait. Dr. Spencer Reid: What is it? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Will and I were talking and... we want you to be Henry's Godfather. Dr. Spencer Reid: I don't - I mean, I don't know... Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Here. You wanna hold him. It's okay. [hands Henry to Reid] Watch his head. Dr. Spencer Reid: Hi. Hello Henry. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: If anything happens to us, it's up to you and Garcia to make sure this boy gets into Yale. Dr. Spencer Reid: Ooh. Yale. Yale! Do you wanna go to Yale, Henry? That was your Godfather's safety school. [whispers] Don't worry, I can get you into Cal Tech with one phone call.
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Paradise Emily Prentiss: Well Roadside motels definately go on my list. [When Reid gives her a funny look... ] Of things to never do again. Dr. Spencer Reid: You have a list? David Rossi: [to Reid] You don't?
	Season 4 / Episode 4: - Paradise Dr. Spencer Reid: [on the phone with Garcia] Thank you, Garcia! Garcia: You, my fine furry friends, are welcome! [hangs up the phone] Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: [about Garcia] Remind me to have her drug-tested...
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - The Angel Maker David Rossi: What do you need to crack it? Dr. Spencer Reid: The ability to clone myself and a year's supply of Adderall. David Rossi: I'll put on the coffee.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - The Angel Maker Dr. Spencer Reid: Normally, you'd use a computer to examine all the combinations, but in this case it was faster just to write it all out longhand until I found the right code. Emily Prentiss: [Poking Reid's cheek] He's so lifelike!
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - Tabula Rasa Dr. Spencer Reid: [looking at a piece of paper] It's remarkable. Something like this makes you question everything you thought you knew. Penelope Garcia: Yeah. It's like the Monolith in 2001. Dr. Spencer Reid: So there was actually a time when something like this was socially acceptable? Penelope Garcia: Oh... you're young. Penelope Garcia: The eighties left a lot of people confused. Penelope Garcia: This is, uh, especially sad, though. Emily Prentiss: All right, very funny, you guys. Very funny. Emily Prentiss: What'd you do to it? Penelope Garcia: Do? Emily Prentiss: You obviously aletered it in photoshop or something. Emily Prentiss: That hair? Penelope Garcia: Oh, no, Pussycat. That - that's all you. Garfield High, Class of '89. Emily Prentiss: [looking at the photo again] You really didn't change anything? Penelope Garcia: I hacked it, as is. You're seriously trying to tell me you don't remember rocking that look? Dr. Spencer Reid: Perhaps your lack of recognition stems from a dissociative fugue suffered in adolescence. Say, at a Siouxsie and the Banshees concert? Penelope Garcia: [laughs]
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - In Heat Derek Morgan: [looking at J.J. and Will kissing in the hallway with Prentiss and Reid] Well, finally. Emily Prentiss: Mm. I thought she was never going to admit it. [walks away] Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, what's it been like, a year? [follows Prentiss] Derek Morgan: Yeah, something like that. [walks away, opposite of Reid and Prentiss]
	Season 3 / Episode 16: - Elephant's Memory Derek Morgan: So Owen identifies with being a misunderstood loner. You know, I wish all of our unsubs would just tack their profiles on their walls like this for us. Dr. Spencer Reid: [looks at him] That doesn't mean anything. What, you grew up in Chicago, a high school jock, and you have pictures of Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan on your walls and trophies everywhere? Derek Morgan: Yeah. But you forgot Walter Payton. Not to mention the sexy ladies of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
	Season 3 / Episode 16: - Elephant's Memory Dr. Spencer Reid: [rushing into the briefing room] Sorry I'm late. Dr. Spencer Reid: . David Rossi: I hope she was worth it. Derek Morgan: [turning to look at Reid from behind] I hope it was a she. Dr. Spencer Reid: Sorry, I was at the movies. David Rossi: Oh, really, why don't you tell us what it was about. Dr. Spencer Reid: Uh, I had to leave early, so I can't really -...
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - Damaged Dr. Spencer Reid: I find I do some of my best work under intense terror.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Identity Dr. Spencer Reid: A popular theory among leading astrophysicists estimates that the hyper-matter reactor would need about 10³² Joules of energy to destroy a planet the size of Earth. Now, Lucas said it took 19 years to build the first Death Star, right? If you look at the universal chronology, there's a tested prototype for Superlaser - where're you going? Derek Morgan: Take back the last five minutes of my life.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Identity Dr. Spencer Reid: I'm with the FBI. Trailer Park Manager: FBI? You're not serious. You look like a pipe-cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - The Boogeyman Derek Morgan: So, why the woods, JJ? Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Hmmm? Derek Morgan: Your fear, you said it was of the woods. Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Err, I used to be a camp counselor when I was a teenager, in the woods up around Vermont. I had the night shift, you know, tuck the girls in, turn off the lights, you know, the typical drill. Everything seemed fine. The kids were asleep, you know, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Until... I noticed that there was some blood, on the hallway floor. So I followed the blood trail down the hall to the camp director's cabin, walked up to his bed, and... he was just lying there, under his covers, dead. Someone stabbed him. I ran out of there so fast, out the door, down the hall. I can just remember it being really dark. Once I got to the door, there was another counselor; I guess she heard me scream. They caught the caretaker on his way in to town. I guess he still had the knife on him. Anyway, I guess that's probably when I decided I didn't like the woods. Derek Morgan: You're serious? Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: [sips coffee looking serious and pauses] No! Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: I mean you fell for that? Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: Come on! I don't know why I'm afraid of the woods! I am. Why is he still afraid of the dark? Derek Morgan: Yeah, Reid why are you still afraid of the dark? Dr. Spencer Reid: Because of the inherent absence of light!
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Somebody's Watching Dr. Spencer Reid: Do I look twelve years old to you? Jason Gideon: Fourteen?
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Somebody's Watching Lila Archer: [Reid and Lila are looking at art] Does it make you feel anything? Dr. Spencer Reid: Like what? Lila Archer: I can't tell you what to feel. Dr. Spencer Reid: Right now I feel pretty good.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Somebody's Watching Lila Archer: [Lila takes a sip of Reid's soda] You don't mind sharing with me, do you? Dr. Spencer Reid: No. [Lila takes off her robe. She is wearing a bikini underneath. Reid stares at her as she walks away] Derek Morgan: You don't mind sharing with me, do you? Dr. Spencer Reid: Shut up!
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Somebody's Watching Lila Archer: You don't like me. Dr. Spencer Reid: No! I do... Lila Archer: I like you. Dr. Spencer Reid: I like you, too. It's just I'm a... I'm a federal agent, you know? I'm supposed to protect you. Lila Archer: Then keep me close.
	Season 1 / Episode 18: - Somebody's Watching Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Morgan? Has there ever been a girl that you wanted to be with for, you know, more than just one night? Derek Morgan: Excuse me? Dr. Spencer Reid: I've never seen you with the same girl twice. Derek Morgan: What, are you calling me a dog? Dr. Spencer Reid: No, no, not at all. I'm just trying to figure out if this feeling I have is ever gonna go away.

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