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Dr. Spencer Reid Quotes
 | Season 8 / Episode 20: - Alchemy David Rossi: How many small-town newspapers do you subscribe to? Dr. Spencer Reid: Thirty-eight. It used to be more, but a lot of them disappeared. David Rossi: You mean went digital. Dr. Spencer Reid: Same thing. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 17: - The Gathering Dr. Spencer Reid: [closing quotation, voiceover] Oscar Wilde said "I can resist anything, except temptation." |
 | Season 8 / Episode 2: - The Pact Penelope Garcia: [badgering Rossi about his unused vacation days] Everyone likes vacation. David Rossi: Vacations are overrated. Dr. Spencer Reid: Didn't you take a vacation two years ago? David Rossi: Luckily, two days in I was called back. Penelope Garcia: Yeah, and now he's got thirty-one days. Alex Blake: A month? Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, sunshine is an essential source of Vitamin D. You should go to Florida and get some sunshine. David Rossi: That's for old guys. Derek Morgan: What about a safari in Africa? David Rossi: Too hot. Dr. Spencer Reid: How about Italy? David Rossi: Too many relatives. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 21: - Divining Rod Derek Morgan: What do we got, baby girl? Penelope Garcia: Thank you, sir. We have a killing in Enid, Oklahoma. And not... the capital punishment one you are thinking of right now. I'm talking about a woman named Cara Smith, who was murdered in her apartment minutes after the execution of Rodney Garrett. Aaron Hotchner: A neighbor saw her front door open and discovered the body. David Rossi: Look familiar? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Young, pretty, short blonde hair. David Rossi: And stabbed directly through the heart. Dr. Spencer Reid: That's exactly the way Garrett killed his victims. Derek Morgan: So are we looking at a copycat? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Or someone creating doubt the right person was executed. David Rossi: In Garrett's case, there was no doubt. His guilt was the slam dunk of all slam dunks. Prints, DNA, a confession. Dr. Spencer Reid: He even led police to where he buried two of his victims. Emily Prentiss: Garrett killed twenty-five women before he was caught. If this new unsub is a copycat, body count's just started. |
| Season 7 / Episode 21: - Divining Rod Emily Prentiss: [browsing through mail Garrett received in prison] Get a load of this one. "Dear Mr. Garrett, it took a lot of courage to do what you did. Most people are cowards and don't do what they feel inside them. You are an inspiration, and I applaud you." Emily Prentiss: "I applaud you." David Rossi: These are supposed to be the non-wacko letters. Penelope Garcia: Hey, guess what? JJ's genius has struck again. That hunch about the hair was right. I'm sending you an ATM image of Cara Smith. She's the first victim. This was taken ten hours before her murder. Check it. Detective Childers: The unsub cut her hair, too. Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, there could be a sexual element involved. Trichophilia is a fetish where one becomes aroused by the removal of hair. Derek Morgan: Well either way, it's starting to look less like a copycat. The unsub's deviating too much from Garrett's M.O. Garrett never took trophies. |
| Season 7 / Episode 21: - Divining Rod Emily Prentiss: [Prentiss has bid on a house for sale] I can't believe I'm doing it. I mean, it's probably not gonna work out anyway, right? There are five other sealed bids, and I offered way below what the owners are asking. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Uh huh. Sounds to me like someone's hoping they don't get it. Dr. Spencer Reid: Orthophobia: fear of owning personal property. Emily Prentiss: No, I don't have a fear of owning stuff. Turn me loose in a shoe store, I'll prove that. My fear is personal property that weighs three hundred tons. Dr. Spencer Reid: Actually, depending on materials used, square footage, and horizontal versus vertical construction, the average house only weighs about sixty tons. Emily Prentiss: [sarcastically] Well, thanks for that, Reid. I feel light as a bird already. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 14: - Closing Time Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Spencer, I'm fine, I swear. It's just a scratch. Dr. Spencer Reid: No, no, I count two cuts, three bruises, a black eye, and possibly a fractured rib. [He turns to the EMT] I'm not telling you how to do your job, but you should probably consider getting her a CAT scan. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [to the EMT] Ignore him. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 13: - Snake Eyes David Rossi: I can't imagine why not. We're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold 'Em. Emily Prentiss: Hey, what about you? David Rossi: What about me what? Emily Prentiss: You could stake us the buy-in. Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, you're a best-selling author. David Rossi: No! Emily Prentiss: Why not? David Rossi: One, it's against regulations, and I'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It's a minor administrative violation. David Rossi: And two, I prefer to spend my money on actual things, like single-malt Scotch, a fine cigar, beautiful artwork. Emily Prentiss: Poker chips are things. Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe just think of it as, like, a new experience. I mean, at your age, how often does that happen? David Rossi: At my *what*? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Rossi, this may be our only chance to get this guy. David Rossi: All right, fine. I'm a decent poker player, but I can't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to... Emily Prentiss: You know what? I bet you're a great poker player, but what if we sent in Reid? Dr. Spencer Reid: I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card-counting ability. David Rossi: Look, I know I'm not a genius like the boy wonder here, but poker is not blackjack. It's about bluffing, reading human nature, head games. It's not math. Dr. Spencer Reid: That's not entirely accurate. There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold. If "P" represents the size of the pot at the time of play, than P x N - 1, with "N" representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting... David Rossi: Okay, fine. I surrender. Just try not to lose all of my money? |
 | Season 7 / Episode 11: - True Genius Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover] There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. -Dante |
 | Season 7 / Episode 7: - There's No Place Like Home Penelope Garcia: P.G. at your service, don't let the name fool ya. Derek Morgan: Baby girl you're on speaker. Dr. Spencer Reid: Garcia can you look for grave robberies in tornado alley over the last five years? Penelope Garcia: Okey Dokey, searching.Oh it's a shockingly big list. Who knew grave robbing was so on trend? |
| Season 7 / Episode 7: - There's No Place Like Home Dr. Spencer Reid: I didn't know you were a bad flyer. David Rossi: I'm not. I just hate turbulence. Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, turbulence very rarely causes planes to crash. David Rossi: That does me absolutely no good at the moment. Thank you. Dr. Spencer Reid: What we really need to worry about are microbursts - a sudden downburst of air associated with thunderstorms - but small craft like this one, if we hit one of those at the wrong altitude... Dr. Spencer Reid: Get pulverized. David Rossi: [to the rest of the team] I beg of you to make him stop. |
| Season 7 / Episode 7: - There's No Place Like Home Dr. Spencer Reid: Hey, Hotch. Aaron Hotchner: Yeah? Dr. Spencer Reid: I've been thinking. The vast majority of unsubs with this type of m.o. aren't driven by the killing. They're merely fascinated by the body parts. Psychologically, they exist in a realm where fantasy meets delusion. It's basically the perfect blueprint for creation of a serial killer b... I'm rambling, aren't I? Aaron Hotchner: Yes. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 6: - Epilogue Derek Morgan: [Irritatedly] Come on, guys. Gentle lights, shadowy figures? Those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients, we all know that. No one actually sees the afterlife. Dr. Spencer Reid: I did. [Everyone in the room turns to look at him] Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience, and I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed. Derek Morgan: [More gently] Reid, you never told me that. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 5: - From Childhood's Hour Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover] "From childhood's hour, I have not been As others are; I have not seen As others have." ~~ Edgar Allen Poe |
 | Season 7 / Episode 4: - Painless Dr. Spencer Reid: [the music on Morgan's iPod suddenly stops, and is replaced by Reid's voice] We interrupt your regularly scheduled musical selection with an important announcement: never wage a practical joke war against an MIT graduate, because we have a history of going nuclear. Now just sit back, relax, and enjoy the dulcet sounds of me, screaming in your ear. AAAAAAAAHHHHH! |
| Season 7 / Episode 4: - Painless Dr. Spencer Reid: [muttering] I will crush you. Derek Morgan: What? Dr. Spencer Reid: [innocently] What? |
| Season 7 / Episode 4: - Painless Dr. Spencer Reid: [When JJ claims she can't remember ever being bullied in high school] Were you one of the mean girls? Jennifer Jareau: Wh - ? No! Dr. Spencer Reid: Valedictorian, soccer scholarship, corn fed but still a size zero - I think that you might've been a mean girl! Jennifer Jareau: *I* was actually one of the *nice* girls. Even to guys like *you*! Dr. Spencer Reid: Guys like me? I'll have you know that my social standing increased once I started winning at basketball. Jennifer Jareau: [Disbelievingly] Oh yeah, you played basketball? Dr. Spencer Reid: No, I didn't play. I *coached* basketball. I broke down the opposing team's shooting strategy. Jennifer Jareau: Is that why Morgan kicked you out of the pool last week? Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah. Took him three rounds to realize I was hustling him. |
| Season 7 / Episode 4: - Painless Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover] "You may leave school, but it never leaves you." ~~ Andy Partridge |
 | Season 7 / Episode 3: - Dorado Falls Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover] "Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds." ~~ Franklin D. Roosevelt |
 | Season 7 / Episode 2: - Proof Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Charm's quite the killer. Dr. Spencer Reid: So are tears. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Proof Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Maybe she offended him. Dr. Spencer Reid: [sarcastically] Wonder what that's like. |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Proof Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I get it, okay? You're disappointed with the way we handled Emily. Dr. Spencer Reid: [Dodging her] Listen, I have a lot going on, alright? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You know what *I* think it is? Dr. Spencer Reid: What? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You're mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro expressions at the hospital and you weren't able to detect our deception. Dr. Spencer Reid: [Hurt beginning to show beneath his anger] You think this is about my *profiling skills*? Jennifer, listen: the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I *trusted* you! I came to your house for *ten* weeks in a row, crying over losing a friend, and not *once* did you have the decency to tell me the truth. Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Guiltily, fighting tears] I couldn't. Dr. Spencer Reid: [Skeptically] You *couldn't*, or you *wouldn't*? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [Frustrated] No, I *couldn't*! Dr. Spencer Reid: [a little more calmly now] What if I had started taking dilaudid again? Would you have let me? Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [a little nervously] You didn't. Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, but I thought about it. [Starts to leave] Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Spence! [Spencer stops and looks back at her impatiently] I'm sorry! Dr. Spencer Reid: It's too late! Alright? [He walks away, leaving JJ almost in tears and the rest of the team looking concerned] |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Proof Dr. Spencer Reid: [voiceover] "If it is a miracle, any sort of evidence will answer; but if it is a fact, proof is necessary." ~~ Mark Twain |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Proof Dr. Spencer Reid: People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 1: - It Takes A Village Dr. Spencer Reid: If you want to punish me for taking a risk, then I encourage you to do that, but do not put the rest of my team on trial for something that I suggested. Senator Cramer: Calm down, agent. Dr. Spencer Reid: This *is* calm, and it's 'doctor'. |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - It Takes A Village Emily Prentiss: [Bursting into the interrogation room after hearing Reid tell Doyle that he thinks the BAU should trade him for Declan] No! We are not letting him outta here, Reid! Dr. Spencer Reid: Emily, I will chain myself to him if I have to! Emily Prentiss: He'll find a way to escape! Dr. Spencer Reid: No he won't, and we're running out of time! If we find McDermott now, we have a chance to save Declan! |
| Season 7 / Episode 1: - It Takes A Village Aaron Hotchner: Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize her, and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need to know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris, where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to, for her security. Penelope Garcia: She's alive? Dr. Spencer Reid: But we buried her. Aaron Hotchner: As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me. Derek Morgan: [angry] Any issues? Yeah, I got issues. Penelope Garcia: [near tears] Oh, my God. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 23: - Big Sea Aaron Hotchner: Have you nailed down the victimology? Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, I found a unique evolution, actually. The earliest victims appear to be high-risk. These lesions are consistent with syphilis, most likely a prostitute. This one has severely ground and missing teeth, commonly seen in excessive methamphetamine abuse. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, a sea change - healthier and stronger victims all the way through to number twelve. Aaron Hotchner: Lower-risk, harder for him to hunt. What do we know about the first victim? Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, that one's tough. He or she has been in the water so long, they're mostly bone fragments. I can attempt to reconstruct... Aaron Hotchner: You've got three hours. Dr. Spencer Reid: I can do it in two. Aaron Hotchner: Make it one. |
| Season 6 / Episode 23: - Big Sea Dr. Spencer Reid: The wounds on the thigh show hesitation marks. An unsub this experienced wouldn't display that. Derek Morgan: I don't think the unsub did. The angle indicates left-handed dominance. The file says this guy was left-handed, too. Dr. Spencer Reid: You know, if he'd been given trilamide, the unsub could have forced him to cut himself. It makes sense for a sadist with abandonment issues, but wouldn't he finish the job? Derek Morgan: The victim must have gotten a chance to escape and took it. Dr. Spencer Reid: But how? The trilamide kept him compliant enough to hurt himself. It overcame his self-preservation instinct. Derek Morgan: Well, then another instinct must have been stronger. Dr. Spencer Reid: Like what? Derek Morgan: A protective one. This guy was mentally and physically compromised, but he still went after the unsub with everything he had. Dr. Spencer Reid: Who would he fight that hard for? Derek Morgan: A child, Garcia. Search nationwide missing persons reports for men traveling with their kids. Penelope Garcia: Am I looking for a son or daughter? Derek Morgan: We don't know yet. Penelope Garcia: No, no, I'm sorry, honey. No dice. Hey, what if they're not reported as missing yet? Derek Morgan: Yeah, of course not. When the unsub met them, they were starting over. All right, baby girl, new deal. USPS changes of address notices, people moving into Florida and South Carolina. Penelope Garcia: Done. Derek Morgan: All right, eliminate women, wives, couples. Narrow it down to men only. Penelope Garcia: So... so we're thinking divorced dad here, right? Derek Morgan: Yeah, but not just any divorced dad. This guy wants as much distance between his son and his ex-wife as possible. So look for custody disputes, injunctions, allegations. The messier, the better, Garcia. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 22: - Out of the Light Dr. Spencer Reid: Autopsy report revealed fragments of glass in some of Angela's wounds. Aaron Hotchner: Were they able to identify the blades used? Dr. Spencer Reid: Only that there were a number of them. David Rossi: The doctor mentioned she had heavy metals in her blood. Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah, the highest one being lead. Derek Morgan: Well, add that to the unique patterns of her wounds and the glass in her cuts. Maybe this guy worked with stained glass. Talbot had stained glass in his front door. Ashley Seaver: The Owens had stained glass window chimes in their condo. David Rossi: Lead fumes can get into your system during the soldering process. David Rossi: What? My second wife was crafty. |
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