Cedric the Entertainer Presents Quotes

Cedric the Entertainer Presents

- Episode Quotes

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Cedric the Entertainer Presents Quotes

	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: That's Mrs. Cafeteria Lady, Nathaniel. Now unlike yo' mama, some of us know how to keep a husband!
	Unknown Episode: Woman on "¿Qué hora es?": TELEMUNDO!!!!!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: You may be a math teacher over there, but in here, you nothin' but a substance abuser that can count to ten!
	Unknown Episode: Mama: Now, fifteen liars that told the same lie don't make it true. If I was to put syrup on a shoe, you wouldn't called it a pancake, would ya? Mama: ANSWER ME!!! Mama: Randy Moss, call me!!
	Unknown Episode: Mama: You want national security? I got a church full of nosy ol' ladies. Put them in the CIA and they'll find out everybody's business. They'll tell you where Osama been and where Osama gon' be!
	Unknown Episode: Mama: [when Glen Cox interrupts] Excuse me, but was I talking to you? Did you hear your name? Was I talking to you? Did you hear your name? Did you hear it? Glen Cox: No, but-- Mama: Did you hear IT? Answer me! Glen Cox: No. Mama: Well, you need to shut up when grown folks is talkin'. You need to learn your manners. This whole country needs to learn their manners.
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: Ain't no mo' green beans! Just mashed potatoes and corn!
	Unknown Episode: Glen Cox: Since you are a natural blonde, how long did it take for you to put it on with those eagle talons you call nails, Mama?!? (laughs) Interviewer: Oh no, you didn't! Mama: First of all, it is my hair. I got the receipt in my purse to prove it. And second, don't you ever talk to Mama like that again, or I'm gonna beat you until this belt sizzles! (snaps belt) Glen Cox: You will do no such thing! Mama: Bring it on!
	Unknown Episode: Mama: You asked the right person about global warming. I heated a whole house with a blow dryer and and a waffle iron. You do the math! Glen Cox: This answer is as ridiculous as this mink tarp that you've got around your buttocks. It's summertime. Mama: First of all, that's sable, so that shows you where you at. And second of all, I ain't afraid of no man that I can see the top of their head. He little!
	Unknown Episode: Howard: [tastes food] It's served on an open grill...................You know what this can use? Some hot sauce! Game Show Host: Looks like you'll have to stop guessing meats.
	Unknown Episode: Mama: Work that bling-bling, baby!
	Unknown Episode: Baby: How do you know all that stuff? Malik: I'm advanced. My nanny said so. Trey: You mean the one that shakes you.
	Unknown Episode: Swipe from "Thug Prankz": Ho-hum. A lovely day at the grocery store. I don't think so, trick!!
	Unknown Episode: Woman on "¿Qué Hora Es?": [crying] José Cuervo Margarrrita!!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: The green beans are for the children. Children like little Joey. Family's so po' they house sittin' on a kickstand! Cafeteria Lady: Come back here, Joey! You know yo' mama ain't comin' back 'till last call! Cafeteria Lady: Somebody need to get they white mama to get they black grandma and teach her how to do her hair!
	Unknown Episode: Mama: Did you do it? Did you embezzle that man's 3 million dollars? You better tell me before I slap you cross-eyed! Man: No, Mama! Mama: I'm satisfied! Lawyer: Mama , this is-- Mama: Sit yo' a** down!
	Unknown Episode: Woman: You are the worst lawyer ever! Lawyer: Nobody didn't say nothin' when you was out killin' people!
	Unknown Episode: Spencer Elwood: There has been a certain issue. One that has touched me directly. Spencer Elwood: This whack-behind Presidential song! You can't Harlem-shake to that!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: I'm a bicycle with the seat off, I'll get in yo ass!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: I'm like a gay guy at a strip club, I really don't care!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: Hey there, what are them books you readin? Man: Nothing you would understand; It's beyond your scope! Cafeteria Lady: Let me tell YOU what's beyond scope, your breath!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: Well I am like a double shot of Novocain, I ain't really feelin' for you!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: I'm like an unpaid electric bill, I'll put your lights out!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: I'm like a overheated hot-air balloon, I'll drop it like it's hot!
	Unknown Episode: Cafeteria Lady: I'm like a cup of coffee; I'm hot, black, and strong!

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