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06x12 - Means & Ends Season 6 / Episode 12: - Means & Ends

Michael Westen: Let's show them how professionals send a message... Make them think hell is raining down on their heads.
Sam Axe: Mike, I have so much more fun when you're here.
06x06 - Shock Wave Season 6 / Episode 6: - Shock Wave

Sam Axe: [fashioning a badge out of a beer can] I need your wallet, some scissors, and a glass.
Barry: What's the glass for?
Sam Axe: We don't waste beer in my family.
06x06 - Shock Wave Season 6 / Episode 6: - Shock Wave

Sam Axe: [getting ready to flee] Now, were you a running back in high school?
Barry: I was Nathan Detroit in Guys and Dolls...
05x18 - Fail Safe Season 5 / Episode 18: - Fail Safe

Sam Axe: You see the steel doors? That place is pretty well defended.
Fiona Glenanne: Yeah, well, it's worth the risk. It's not just me. Michael's on the edge of something very, very bad. You know it.
Sam Axe: All right, fine. We'll sneak in there, have a little chat. But no explosives, okay? 'Cause if that place is storing RDX, forget it.
Fiona Glenanne: I don't just blow things up. I do have other skills. We're gonna need a truck. A big rig.
Sam Axe: A truck? How am I supposed to find a big rig in Tampa?
Fiona Glenanne: I don't know. Call one of your many friends. Steal it. I can't do everything, Sam.
05x18 - Fail Safe Season 5 / Episode 18: - Fail Safe

Michael Westen: [voiceover] The key to breaching a building is getting inside quickly and dealing with the occupants before they have time to respond. When you can't use explosives, sometimes you have to get creative.
05x17 - Acceptable Loss Season 5 / Episode 17: - Acceptable Loss

Michael Westen: You read the files. What is Anson planning? Is he trying to disappear? What is his play here?
Vaughn Anderson: Look, those numbers- they're not just bank accounts and blind trusts. They're linked to real things.
Michael Westen: What things?
Vaughn Anderson: Look, our organization- it wasn't just run on burned spies. We had an infrastructure. We had transport companies, supply depots, weapons manufacturers- legit businesses, all set up to serve our purposes. Without them in place, we would not exist!
Michael Westen: What does this have to do with Anson?
Vaughn Anderson: Michael, you really don't see it, do you? Anson isn't retiring. He's rebuilding. That organization that burned you- he's bringing that back online.
Michael Westen: No...
Vaughn Anderson: You can try and stop it. But if I know Anson, it may already be too late.
05x16 - Depth Perception Season 5 / Episode 16: - Depth Perception

Sam Axe: [someone is trying to kill Sam's friend Beatriz] Mike, uh, this may sound crazy, but we know a shrink whose job it is to profile and identity agents like this.
Michael Westen: You want to bring *Anson* in on this?
Sam Axe: We got to find this guy before he takes another shot. Anson's our best bet at IDing him.
Michael Westen: Anson's killed at least four people since we met him. Are you sure you want to ask *him* for help?
Sam Axe: Mike, I don't like this either, but the kid means a lot to me, okay? She saved my life more than once when I was down in Colombia. So if she comes to me for help, I'm damn well gonna do it.
05x16 - Depth Perception Season 5 / Episode 16: - Depth Perception

Anson Fullerton: You want me to help you find a Russian spy? Michael, I think you're confused about the nature of our relationship. You work for me.
Michael Westen: And I've done what you've asked. Now I'm asking for something in return.
Anson Fullerton: What you get in return is your girlfriend's freedom. Now don't call me again until you have my money.
Michael Westen: Before you go, I want you to think about something. You've seen my psych profile.
Anson Fullerton: I helped write your psych profile.
Michael Westen: Good. Then you know that if my friends are in danger - real danger - I will help them, whatever the risks.
Anson Fullerton: What's the point?
Michael Westen: My point is I'm no good to you dead or in jail. So you help me, and it's a lot more likely I will stay healthy, free, and useful to you.
05x15 - Necessary Evil Season 5 / Episode 15: - Necessary Evil

Sam Axe: So, Mike, that was one hell of a drive. What are we looking at?
Michael Westen: It's a chemical research facility, closed two years ago.
Sam Axe: Half a dozen guys with AKs. Not something you expect to see out here.
Jesse Porter: It's a lot of activity for a closed shop.
Michael Westen: Lights came back on a month ago. Liberian company leased it. Trucks have been dropping off guidance equipment and long-range missile components for the last few days.
Jesse Porter: According to who? Pearce?
Michael Westen: The agency thinks a weapons engineer, William Resnick, went rogue. It certainly sounds like he's building a missile in there.
Sam Axe: So what, Pearce wants you to go in and see what's up?
Michael Westen: Not me. You guys. There's a good chance the target knows my face.
Jesse Porter: Okay. You kind of buried the lead there, Mike.
Sam Axe: You know, the last time I did a favor for the CIA, there were a few hiccups.
Michael Westen: I know, Sam, but we're all on the same team this time. Resnick made a purchase from a black market chip manufacturer. The CIA squeezed them, you guys are gonna get swapped in as the tech guys.
Jesse Porter: Pearce put together our cover before she asked if we would do it?
Michael Westen: She was counting on you guys saying yes.
Sam Axe: Not loving how this went down, Mike, but I'm not gonna pass up a chance to bag a traitor.
05x15 - Necessary Evil Season 5 / Episode 15: - Necessary Evil

Sam Axe: Giving the CIA half of what they want is a Sam Axe specialty.
05x12 - Dead to Rights Season 5 / Episode 12: - Dead to Rights

Larry Sizemore: Do you have any idea what they serve you in an Albanian prison?
Michael Westen: I don't know... yogurt?
05x10 - Army of One Season 5 / Episode 10: - Army of One

Dixon: I said I don't want to talk to you. Go away.
Sam Axe: Dixon, I just need a small favor, okay?
Dixon: Favors are for friends, and friends don't tase one another and put them in the trunks of cars.
Sam Axe: First of all, that was years ago. Second, I said I was sorry. And you know, third, if you'd agreed to help, I wouldn't have had to do it.
05x10 - Army of One Season 5 / Episode 10: - Army of One

Dixon: You guys suck.
Fiona Glenanne: Hey, I've ridden in there. As trunks go, it's not so bad. Uh, Sam, I think I know how the cops found us. Dixon here likes to accessorize.
Sam Axe: You're under house arrest? Why didn't you say something?
Dixon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention that when I was unconscious? I'm unconscious because you tased me!
Sam Axe: [indicating Fi] Uh, technically, she tased you.
05x10 - Army of One Season 5 / Episode 10: - Army of One

Michael Westen: [voiceover] In any search and capture operation, you have to balance speed against planning. Once you locate your target, you have a hard choice to make. Take too much time planning and your target gets away. Take too little time planning and you get yourself killed.
05x10 - Army of One Season 5 / Episode 10: - Army of One

Michael Westen: [voiceover] The ironic thing about infiltrating a group of criminals is that the only way to successfully be accepted is to actually be helpful.
05x10 - Army of One Season 5 / Episode 10: - Army of One

Michael Westen: [voiceover] To improvise a weapon, you have to understand the basic principle behind whatever you're making. A gun, for example, is just a barrel and a firing pin, while a time-delay bomb can be as simple as a corrosive chemical, an oxidizing agent, and something to keep them from mixing together long enough so you don't blow your hands off.
05x05 - Square One Season 5 / Episode 5: - Square One

Michael Westen: [voiceover] As a spy, you're in the information business - stealing it, protecting it, and if you have to, destroying it. Some secrets are so dangerous that you can't allow them to continue to exist. A murder weapon that implicates you in a crime you didn't commit, for example, is a secret best kept with four thousand degrees of burning thermite.
05x05 - Square One Season 5 / Episode 5: - Square One

Jesse Porter: Hey. Got here as soon as I could.
Michael Westen: How'd it go?
Jesse Porter: Okay. Put together some credit card receipts putting everyone in Key West yesterday on a little vacation.
Fiona Glenanne: Key West?
Jesse Porter: Hey, you want an alibi on such short notice, you don't get to be picky.
05x05 - Square One Season 5 / Episode 5: - Square One

Michael Westen: [Ethan is asking for Michael's help to catch his sister's abusive boyfriend] If you want my help, Brandon goes to jail, not to the morgue.
Ethan: Fine. But I'm coming along every step of the way. When we catch him, I want to be there. At the very least, I owe this guy a broken nose.
Michael Westen: I can live with that.
05x04 - No Good Deed Season 5 / Episode 4: - No Good Deed

Madeline Westen: [approaching Michael in the garage] Your friend Barry is here with his brother.
Fiona Glenanne: His brother? There are two of them?
05x04 - No Good Deed Season 5 / Episode 4: - No Good Deed

Sam Axe: Sorry, Fi. I can't help you. I'm not really a big Barry fan, anyway.
Fiona Glenanne: Well, it isn't Barry. It's his brother.
Sam Axe: His brother? Dear God, there's two of them?
05x03 - Mind Games Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mind Games

Jessica: You know I can't pay you guys anything. Unless you can accept free yogurt.
Michael Westen: [slow grin] Deal.
05x03 - Mind Games Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mind Games

Nate Weston: I like your shirt. Would look better on *me*.
Michael Westen: I'm burning it after this is over.
05x03 - Mind Games Season 5 / Episode 3: - Mind Games

Michael Westen: [points at burning motorcycle] Hot bike.
05x02 - Bloodlines Season 5 / Episode 2: - Bloodlines

Carson Huxley: Marriage is like a loaf of bread. It tastes great at the start, but it goes stale very fast.
05x02 - Bloodlines Season 5 / Episode 2: - Bloodlines

Michael Westen: [voiceover] Using civilians in undercover operations is all about emotional manipulation. So it's your job to help them be who they need to be, feel what they need to feel, by any means necessary.
05x02 - Bloodlines Season 5 / Episode 2: - Bloodlines

Madeline Westen: Here. Use that to fix up your dad's Charger.
Michael Westen: Maybe it's time to just leave the past in the past.
Madeline Westen: Maybe it's time to stare the past down and deal with it, Michael. It happened, for better or for worse. It made us who we are.
05x01 - Company Man Season 5 / Episode 1: - Company Man

Max: Glad you made it. I was beginning to wish I'd brought a magazine.
Michael Westen: There was a guard change at the front entrance. Isn't knowing that supposed to be your job as senior field officer?
Max: Handling that kind of your job as operative extraordinaire?
Michael Westen: Oh, but that's not my title. Until my burn notice is officially lifted, I'm just a "civilian intelligence asset".
05x01 - Company Man Season 5 / Episode 1: - Company Man

Michael Westen: [voiceover] One of the things you give up in intelligence is control over your own schedule. It's a little like being a doctor on call, only your emergencies tend to be thousands of miles away.
04x18 - Last Stand Season 4 / Episode 18: - Last Stand

Jesse Porter: Sorry, man. Apparently, I'm allergic to rebar.