Sam Axe

Burn Notice

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Played by:

Bruce Campbell
"Uncle Sam's favorite son" as the lyrics to the theme of _"Jack of All Trades" (2000)_ (qv) go, was ...

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Sam Axe Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Long Way Back Sam Axe: I'm getting Fi out of there no matter what. Just don't ever tell her I said that.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Friends Like These Michael Westen: Yeah, about that, you should avoid your clients for a while. Barry: I'm known for my customer service. Don't you think they're going to get a little suspicious if I start dodging their calls? Sam Axe: Dodge calls now or dodge bullets later. Barry: Fair enough.
	Season 3 / Episode 7: - Shot In The Dark Sam Axe: [begrudgingly agreeing to help with Michael's latest case] When the time comes to rescue a bunch of rich women trapped in a brewery, you better step up.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Signals and Codes Spencer: I can't find anything in this mess. Sam Axe: Yeah, sometimes I lose track of things when I leave them on the ceiling.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Signals and Codes Sam Axe: [posing as corporate consultant] Ladies and gentlemen, if I can borrow your attention I promise to return it on about an hour.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Signals and Codes Sam Axe: Has anyone hear heard of the "7th Sigma"? This is the newest commandment in the business bible, people. Anyone? Todd? Disgruntled Techie: Thou shalt not lie about ice cream cake?
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Signals and Codes Michael Westen: You're going to have to help. Spencer: Oh no. Oh, whadaya. How? Sam Axe: Well for starters, you're gonna have to be able to string two sentences together.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Fearless Leader Sam Axe: [recognizing Stacey] I remember you! You're the little boy with the girl name!
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Fearless Leader Stacey Conolly: [auditor] The IRS does not allow classified deductions, Mr Axe. I'm disallowing this until the operation is made public. And then there's this... Sam Axe: Well, you wanted documentation of my trip to the Middle East. That's it, the gun. I got it off this guy that was... in this group we were targeting. Stacey Conolly: Ah, so you stole it. Sam Axe: Oh I didn't steal it - he was... done with it. Stacey Conolly: So it was a gift. Sam Axe: It's not a gift! There was this thing, and then... the gun didn't have an owner anymore. Stacey Conolly: [dawning realization] I'm just gonna mark that down as a windfall...
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - End Run Fiona Glenanne: How long before Paxson finds someone she can flip, like a gunrunner named Seymour? Sam Axe: Or a money launderer named Barry? Fiona Glenanne: Or a washed-up Navy SEAL named Sam? Sam Axe: Or, how 'bout an unstable, jealous... Michael Westen: Guys!
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - End Run Michael Westen: Does Fi have any C-4? Sam Axe: Well, it's Fi, Mike. You gotta ask?
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Friends and Family Michael Westen: So the good news is, I'm being investigated by the cops and foreign intelligence agencies? Sam Axe: Yeah, well it's a change...
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Friends and Family Michael Westen: [visit in prison] My mom, she's okay? Sam Axe: Yeah... She's just a little upset about the uh... ya know, the house blowin' up. It's not the whole house. It's just the uh, ya know, the sun room? I mean it came out okay, but I think the bottom line is, you're better off in here until your ma cools off.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Friends and Family Sam Axe: Easy on the explosives Fi. We're trying to nail this guy on corruption charges. Could be tough if he's in little pieces. Fiona Glennane: We'll save on shipping.
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Friends and Family Sam Axe: Mike, your new cover ID. You're Tom Wellington Esquire. Lawyer for a shady international investment group. Michael Westen: Wellington? Sam Axe: Hey, you wanna pick the name, you gotta go to the meeting. And listen to Barry talk about his skin regimen.
	Season 2 / Episode 16: - Lesser Evil Sam Axe: Is your stuff handy, because it's time for an emergency trip to Disney World. Madeline Westen: Disney World? Why in God's name would I want to go to Disney World? Sam Axe: Because it's a magical kingdom with lots of witnesses and great security.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sins of Omission Sam Axe: Oh ho ho come on, I thought this was the get-to-know-the-Ex lunch. Now it's a 19-government-agencies-are-chasing-me lunch?
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sins of Omission Sam Axe: [about bad guy's dossier] Mike, I don't know. This one you should be careful. I mean if half this crap is true, Victor's a lot like you, only with, ya know, rabies.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sins of Omission Fiona Glenanne: [knocking Michael's ex-fiancé] Well she is a professional thief. Sam Axe: Jealous Fi? Fiona Glenanne: Don't be absurd, I'm not jealous. Michael Westen: [sarcastically] You think you could pretend to be?
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Sins of Omission Sam Axe: So, uh, another Sam. This is gonna be confusing, huh? Madeline Westen: Have you ever been secretly engaged to my son? Sam Axe: No Madeline Westen: Then I think we'll be able to tell you apart.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Truth & Reconciliation Madeline Westen: You ever have you car broken into? Sam Axe: No, mostly just broken.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Truth & Reconciliation Claude Laurent: [hands out a document to Michael] I have this, too. It's from the inter-American court of human rights. We use it to make him come back to Haiti and stand trial. Duman was an official in Haiti. Veronique spoke out against him. He had her put in prison, and then he had her killed. Sam Axe: [while holding a big fish] Uh, Mr. Laurent, this is not gonna work in an American court. Claude Laurent: Who - who is this man with the fish?
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Bad Breaks Fiona Glenanne: [incredulous] Michael called you to tell you to blow a hole in the wall of a bank, and you didn't think to ask when? Sam Axe: Look, it was a brief conversation. We didn't talk about shoes or movies either. Would you just place the explosives already?
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Bad Breaks Fiona Glenanne: [frustrated] I still thinks we should set of the charges, blow a hole in the wall, rush in... Beats waiting out here. Sam Axe: Yeah that's good, let's get Mike and the hostages killed because you have the attention span of a 3 year old.
	Season 2 / Episode 11: - Hot Spot Coach Shawn Martin: You want me to hide? Sam Axe: Oh, no, no, no. I would never ask you to do that. I just need you to be somewhere where no one can see you for a while.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Do Not Harm Michael Westen: [narration] There's a saying in interrogation: "Violence perceived is violence achieved." You don't want someone screaming, you want him asking questions - asking, "What is he doing with that knife?" Sam Axe: [cuts his own thumb] Oh, wow! Michael Westen: [narration] Asking, "If he'll do that to himself, what will he do to me?" Michael Westen: [narration] Mostly you want him asking, "How do I make this stop?"
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Do Not Harm Sam Axe: Mike? Mike! Mike! Michael Westen: [weakly] What - ? Sam Axe: [stops Michael from moving] Don't try it. Don't try that. You just took a pretty bad fall. Sam Axe: [looking up at the landing and blown-out entrance to Michael's loft] Uh, make that a very bad fall.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Do Not Harm Sam Axe: I think your car saved your life, Mike. Michael Westen: Not the first time.
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Do Not Harm Michael Westen: [narration] Distinguishing between different kinds of suspicious behavior is crucial for an operative. Sam Axe: Surveillance? Michael Westen: Not surveillance, Sam. Michael Westen: [narrating] Someone doing surveillance, for example, looks different than someone who's trying to commit suicide.
	Season 2 / Episode 8: - Double Booked Michael Westen: That's Bill Johnson's house. Sam Axe: [Sarcastically] Yeah, that gets funnier every time.

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