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Jesse Pinkman Quotes
 | Season 5 / Episode 6: - Buyout Jesse Pinkman: Are we in the meth business, or the money business? |
 | Season 5 / Episode 5: - Dead Freight Jesse Pinkman: No! No! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 1: - Live Free or Die Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, bitch! Magnets! |
 | Season 4 / Episode 4: - Bullet Points Mike: You're on thin ice, you little shithead. You know that? Jesse Pinkman: You ain't gonna smoke that dude in there. You know how I know? 'cause you went to the trouble of putting a blindfold on him. |
 | Season 4 / Episode 1: - Box Cutter Jesse Pinkman: At least we all understand each other now. Walter White: What do you mean? Jesse Pinkman: I mean, him and us, we get it. [Makes cutting motion on his neck] Jesse Pinkman: We're all on the same page. Walter White: And what page is that? Jesse Pinkman: The one that says if I can't kill you, you'll sure as shit wish you were dead. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 12: - Half Measures Jesse Pinkman: [about drug dealers using kids to sell methamphetamine] Hearts and minds, right? Get them young and they'll be yours forever. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 11: - Abiquiu Jesse Pinkman: [Looking "My last door" of Georgia O'Keeffe] Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas. Jane Margolis: I didn't say she actually painted vaginas. I said, some of her paintings looked like vaginas. Jesse Pinkman: Uh, seriously? Not even close. Jane Margolis: Georgia O'Keeffe painted all kinds of stuff. Everyday items, her surroundings. Some of it evoked an erotic nature. It's who she was. Jesse Pinkman: Not like any vagina I ever saw. This chick have medical issues? Jane Margolis: This particular painting... is of a door. Jesse Pinkman: Any other doors we can check out? Like, real ones or... |
| Season 3 / Episode 11: - Abiquiu Jesse Pinkman: You know, I don't get it. Why would anyone paint a picture of a door, over and over again, like, dozens of times? Jane Margolis: But it wasn't the same. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, it was. Jane Margolis: It was the same subject, but it was different every time. The light was different, her mood was different. She saw something new every time she painted it. Jesse Pinkman: And that's not psycho to you? Jane Margolis: Well, then why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? Maybe we should only have sex once, if it's the same thing. Jesse Pinkman: ...no. Jane Margolis: Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? Because it's new every time. Each time is a different experience. Jesse Pinkman: Okay, fine. I guess the cow skull pictures were cool, but a door? I will say it again. A door. Jane Margolis: Why not a door? Sometimes you get fixated on something, and you might not even get why. You open yourself up and go with the flow, wherever the Universe takes you. Jesse Pinkman: Okay, so the Universe took her to a door. And she got all obesessed with it, and just had to paint it 20 times until it was perfect. Jane Margolis: No. I wouldn't say that. Nothing's perfect. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah? Well, I mean, [looking to her] some things. Jane Margolis: Aww, that was so sweet, I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Jesse Pinkman: You can't admit, just for once, that I'm right. Come on. That O'Keeffe lady kept trying over and over until that stupid door was perfect. Jane Margolis: No. That door was her home and she loved it. To me, that's about making that feeling last. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 10: - Fly Jesse Pinkman: Gatorade me bitch! |
| Season 3 / Episode 10: - Fly Jesse Pinkman: Look, I like making cherry product, but let's keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don't care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world. |
| Season 3 / Episode 10: - Fly Jesse Pinkman: Possum. Big, freaky, lookin' bitch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin' up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he's irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything? |
| Season 3 / Episode 10: - Fly Jesse Pinkman: Dude, you scared the shit out of me. When you say it's contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an ebola leak or something. Walter White: Ebola. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt. Walter White: Thank you, I know what ebola is. |
| Season 3 / Episode 10: - Fly Walter White: I've been to my oncologist, Jesse. Just last week. I'm still in remission. I'm healthy. Jesse Pinkman: That's good. Great. Walter White: No end in sight. Jesse Pinkman: That's great. Walter White: No. I missed it. There was some perfect moment that passed me right by, but I had to have enough to leave them. That was the whole point. None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough. And it had to be before she found out. Skyler. It had to be before that. Jesse Pinkman: Perfect moment? For what? To drop dead? Are you saying you want to die? Walter White: I'm saying that I lived too long. You want them to actually miss you. You want their memories of you to be... but she just won't... she just won't understand. I mean, no matter how well I explain it, these days she just has this... this... I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words. There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that can explain all of this, but with her I just can't ever seem to find them. Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White, why don't you just sit down? Walter White: You know, I was thinking before the fugue state, but during the fugue state I didn't have enough money, so no, not then. And plus my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born. Jesse Pinkman: Mr. White... Walter White: Definitely before the surgery. Ah Christ, that damn second cell phone. I mean, how could I possibly?... Oh, I know the moment. It was the night Jane died. I was at home and we needed diapers and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse. Actually that was the night I brought you your money, remember? Jesse Pinkman: Yeah. I remember. Walter White: And afterward I stopped at a bar. It was odd, I never do that - go to a bar alone. I just walked in, sat down. I never told you. Jesse Pinkman: You went to a bar? Walter White: I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation. He's a complete stranger. But he turns out to be Jane's father, Donald Margolis. Jesse Pinkman: What are you talking about? Walter White: Of course I didn't know it at the time. I mean, he's just some guy in a bar. I just didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news. Jesse Pinkman: Jane's dad? Walter White: Think of the odds. Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical. I mean, think of the odds of me going in and sitting down that night, in that bar, next to that man. Jesse Pinkman: What'd you talk about? Walter White: Water on mars. Family. Jesse Pinkman: What about family? Walter White: I told him that I had a daughter and he told me he had one, too. And he said, "Never give up on family." And I didn't. I took his advice. My God, the universe is random, it's not inevitable, it's simple chaos. It's subatomic particles in endless, aimless collision. That's what science teaches us, but what does this say? What is it telling us that the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who is having a drink with him? I mean, how could that be random? Jesse Pinkman: Hey, sit down. Walter White: No, no, it's, uh... Oh, that was the moment. That night. I should never have left home. Never gone to your house. Maybe things would have... Oh, I was... I was at home watching TV. Some nature program about elephants... and Skyler and Holly were in another room. I can hear them on the baby monitor. She was singing a lullaby. Oh, if I had just lived right up to that moment... and not one second more. That would have been perfect. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 9: - Kafkaesque Jesse Pinkman: What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities? |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Kafkaesque Group Leader: Jesse, last time, you seemed down about your job at the Laundromat. Let me ask something, if you had the chance to do anything you wanted, what would you do? Jesse Pinkman: Make more green, man. A lot more. Group Leader: Forget about money. Assume you have all you want. Jesse Pinkman: I don't know. I guess I would make something. Group Leader: Like what? Jesse Pinkman: I don't know if it even matters, but... work with my hands, I guess. Group Leader: Building things, like carpentry or bricklaying or something? Jesse Pinkman: I took this vo-tech class in high school, woodworking. I took a lot of vo-tech classes, because it was just big jerk-off, but this one time I had this teacher by the name of... Mr... Mr. Pike. I guess he was like a Marine or something before he got old. He was hard hearing. My project for his class was to make this wooden box. You know, like a small, just like a... like a box, you know, to put stuff in. So I wanted to get the thing done as fast as possible. I figured I could cut classes for the rest of the semester and he couldn't flunk me as long as I, you know, made the thing. So I finished it in a couple days. And it looked pretty lame, but it worked. You know, for putting in or whatnot. So when I showed it to Mr. Pike for my grade, he looked at it and said: "Is that the best you can do?" At first I thought to myself "Hell yeah, bitch. Now give me a D and shut up so I can go blaze one with my boys." I don't know. Maybe it was the way he said it, but... it was like he wasn't exactly saying it sucked. He was just asking me honestly, "Is that all you got?" And for some reason, I thought to myself: "Yeah, man, I can do better." So I started from scratch. I made another, then another. And by the end of the semester, by like box number five, I had built this thing. You should have seen it. It was insane. I mean, I built it out of Peruvian walnut with inlaid zebrawood. It was fitted with pegas, no screws. I sanded it for days, until it was smooth as glass. Then I rubbed all the wood with tung oil so it was rich and dark. It even smelled good. You know, you put nose in it and breathed in, it was... it was perfect. Group Leader: What happened to the box? Jesse Pinkman: I... I gave it to my mom. Group Leader: Nice. You know what I'm gonna say, don't you? It's never too late. They have art co-ops that offer classes, adult extension program at the University. Jesse Pinkman: You know, I didn't give the box to my mom. I traded it for an ounce of weed. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Kafkaesque Group Leader: Jesse? Jesse? What about you? Face looks better. How's it all going? Anything you wanna tell us about? Jesse Pinkman: What, like my interesting life? Uh, one day pretty much bleeds into the next. Been working a lot. Got a job. Group Leader: Job is good. Jesse Pinkman: It's... it's in a laundromat. It's totally corporate. Group Leader: Corporate laundromat. Jesse Pinkman: It's, like, rigid. All kinds of red tape. My boss is a dick. The owner, super dick. I'm not worthy to meet him, but I guess everybody's scared of the dude. The place is full of dead-eyed douche bags, the hours suck and nobody knows what's going on, so... Group Leader: Sounds kind of Kafkaesque. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah. Totally Kafkaesque. |
| Season 3 / Episode 9: - Kafkaesque Badger: I can't believe you had to crush the RV. Must've been depressing. Skinny Pete: For real. That's a stone loss. Jesse Pinkman: No one misses it more than me. Free to cook anytime, anywhere. No quotas, no one to answer to. What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities? Badger: Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star. Skinny Pete: True that. Two of them bitches. Badger: Just saying. Devil's advocate. Jesse Pinkman: I gotta pay taxes? What's up with that? That's messed up. That's Kafkaesque. Skinny Pete: Church. Badger: Right. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 8: - I See You Walter H. White: [On phone at hospital with Skyler looking on] Well yes, I will be sure and pass your best wishes on to everyone. Thank you and goodbye. Jesse Pinkman: [On phone back at meth lab] Oh yeah. And tell that douche bag brother-in-law of yours to go towards the light. |
 | Season 3 / Episode 7: - One Minute Walter White: Listen, something's come up. I think it's a good opportunity. There's been a job opening. I need a new lab assistant. Jesse Pinkman: I already did my time. Why don't you just get yourself a monkey? Walter White: I don't want a monkey. I want you. Jesse Pinkman: Oh, gee, thanks. Well, not interested. I got my own thing going on. And nice try saving your ass-hat brother-in-law. Walter White: That's not why I'm here, Jesse. There's more. It's more than an assistant. Partners. We'd be partners again. Split everything, 50/50, just like before. 1.5 million dollars. Each. Jesse Pinkman: No. Walter White: I don't think you heard me. Jesse Pinkman: I heard you fine. I said no. Walter White: You understand this: you are turning down one and a half million dollars... Jesse Pinkman: I am not turning down the money! I am turning down you! You get it? I want NOTHING to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I HAVE NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT'S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why... why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don't give a shit about me! You said I was no good. I'm nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you! Walter White: Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine. [Walt leaves] |
 | Season 3 / Episode 6: - Sunset Jesse Pinkman: This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed... bitch! |
 | Season 3 / Episode 5: - Mas Jesse Pinkman: Hey, you girls want to meet my fat stack? |
 | Season 3 / Episode 1: - No Mas Jesse Pinkman: You either run from things, or you face them, Mr. White. Walter White: And what exactly does that mean? Jesse Pinkman: I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am. Walter White: And who are you? Jesse Pinkman: I'm the bad guy. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 12: - Phoenix Jane Margolis: Do you know what this is? Jesse Pinkman: It's a whole lot of cheddar. Jane Margolis: This is freedom. This is saying, "I can go anywhere I want. I can be anybody." What do you want to be? Where do you want to go? South America? Europe? Australia? Jesse Pinkman: Is New Zealand part of Australia? Jane Margolis: New Zealand is New Zealand. Jesse Pinkman: Right on. New Zealand. That's where they made "Lord of the Rings". I say we just move there, yo. I mean, you can do your art. Right? Like, you can paint the local castles and shit. And I can be a bush pilot. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 9: - 4 Days Out Jesse Pinkman: Battery's dead. Walter H. White: Jesse. Back when I asked you to put the keys in a safe place, where did you put them? Jesse Pinkman: I left them right here. In the, um... the ignition. Walter H. White: Son of a bitch! Jesse Pinkman: Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn't buzz. Walter H. White: The WHAT? Jesse Pinkman: The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in. To like let you know that the battery's on. I know that! It didn't buzz. Look, I didn't turn the key or anything, alright? I'm not stupid. Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not... It's faulty, it's a faulty mechanism. Walter H. White: Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby? Jesse Pinkman: THE BUZZER DID NOT BUZZ and you were the one that made me move the keys in the first place, REMEMBER? Walter H. White: Yes, I see your point. Your imbecility being what it is, I should have known to say JESSE, DON'T LEAVE THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION THE ENTIRE TWO DAYS. Jesse Pinkman: I wanted to leave them on the counter. BITCH. Oh, I'm sorry, oh, the "work station". Jesus. Walter H. White: Okay, just... Alright so, we need to jump the battery somehow. Jesse Pinkman: Okay. How? |
| Season 2 / Episode 9: - 4 Days Out Walter H. White: Jesse. Jesse. Your body is running dangerously low on electrolytes. Sodium, potassium, calcium. And when they're gone, your brain ceases to communicate with your muscles. Your lungs stop breathing. Your heart stops pumping. You go marching out there and within an hour you will be dead. Jesse Pinkman: Okay. You need to cut out all your loser cry-baby crap RIGHT NOW and think of something SCIENTIFIC. Walter H. White: Something scientific? Right. Jesse Pinkman: What? Come on! Man, you're smart. You made poison out of beans, yo. Look, we got, we got an entire lab right here. Alright? How about you pick some of these chemicals and mix up some rocket fuel? That way you could just send up a signal flare. Or you make some kind of robot to get us help, or a homing device, or build a new battery, or... Wait. No. What if we just take some stuff off of the RV and build it into something completely different? You know, like a... Like a dune buggy. That way, we can just dune buggy or... What? Hey? What is it? What? Walter H. White: [starts to get up] Jesse Pinkman: What? Hey? What is it? What? Walter H. White: Do you, do you have any money? Change, I mean. Coins. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, I got a bunch of them. From the... Walter H. White: Okay. Jesse Pinkman: YES! Walter H. White: Gather them, and, and, and the washers and nuts and bolts and screws and whatever little pieces of metal we can think of that is galvanized. It has to be galvanized, or solid zinc. Jesse Pinkman: Solid zinc, okay. Walter H. White: And, and bring me, bring me brake pads. The front wheels should have discs. Take them off and bring them to me. Jesse Pinkman: Alright, brake pads. Okay. What are we building? Walter H. White: You said it yourself. Jesse Pinkman: A robot? Walter H. White: A battery. MOVE! |
 | Season 2 / Episode 7: - Negro Y Azul Jesse Pinkman: I'm a blowfish, yeeeah blowfishing this up! |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Negro Y Azul Jesse Pinkman: We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king, you guys'll be princes or dukes or something. Badger: I wanna be a knight. |
| Season 2 / Episode 7: - Negro Y Azul Jesse Pinkman: Can this person identify you? Can she identify you being there? She couldn't identify her left ass cheek. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 6: - Peekaboo Jesse Pinkman: You got something for me? Skinny Pete: Yeah, I found 'em. Jesse Pinkman: Is this a five or an S? Skinny Pete: Five, yo. No wait... S. No, no... yeah, five. Jesse Pinkman: Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell "street" wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T? Skinny Pete: Hey, man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't be all about, like, spelling and shit. Jesse Pinkman: Okay. So they got names? Skinny Pete: Hers is like, I dunno, she's just this woman is all. Him, they call Spooge. Jesse Pinkman: Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a man named Spooge? |
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - Breakage Jesse Pinkman: Jane, I gotta say, this place is awesome! Jane Margolis: Really? Does it inspire awe? |
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