Denny Crane

Boston Legal

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Played by:

William Shatner
Handsome Canadian-born actor who - despite his detractors - has notched up an impressive 50-years-plus ...

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Denny Crane Quotes

	Season 5 / Episode 11: - Juiced Denny Crane: [Discussing their upcoming case - and the series finale] Hey, maybe I'll retire after this. Alan Shore: Don't be ridiculous... Denny Crane: Well, what better way to go out? My last case - in front of the Supreme Court. Now there's a finale, Alan. Alan Shore: They should put it on TV. Denny Crane: We'd get ratings. Alan Shore: If they promoted us. Of course, I think there's a law against promoting us. Denny Crane: Seems to be. Alan Shore: [Later in scene] Oh, won't they be so happy to see us again? Denny Crane: The rematch. Alan Shore: [laughs] The rematch. Denny Crane: Grand finale. Alan Shore: Special 9:00 start time.
	Season 5 / Episode 9: - Kill, Baby, Kill ! Denny Crane: [On being allowed to attend a trial in Virginia] Carl, Virginia's a swing state; I've always wanted to swing. Carl Sack: Denny... Denny Crane: Carl, we need to bond. Hell man, this is our last season.
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Patriot Acts Alan Shore: [Denny and Carl enter the courtroom] You must be joking A.A.G. Norman Wood: Commonwealth has waived conflict Judge Clark Brown: Wait a sec. The same firm for both sides? Denny Crane: Saves on guest casting
	Season 4 / Episode 18: - Indecent Proposals Alan Shore: I'm sorry, Denny. Denny Crane: No you're not. You're relieved. Alan Shore: Well, I'm that, too. But if you truly loved her then I am sorry. Denny Crane: ... Alan Shore: Denny? Denny Crane: There's no need to be sorry, Alan. Love, even when it's fleeting, even if it's for a day or two...it's everything. Don't you agree? Alan Shore: I do. I actually think it's why I'm still single. Every morning I get to wake up and I get to wonder: "Will this be the day?" Every night when I lay my head on my pillow I wonder: "Will I meet her tomorrow?" I imagine what she'll look like, her smile, the way she does her hair, how she laughs, the contour of her breasts, neck... The promise of love can be everything. It's a magic you really find in marriage if you luck out. Denny Crane: Do you believe married people can stay in love? Alan Shore: Oh, I believe thy can know even more profound joys be it with children, the depth of the relationship itself can evolve into something they can't possibly live without. And yet, it's something that doesn't quite so resemble love. It's not the romance of love. Denny Crane: I never knew you to be such a romantic. Alan Shore: My problem is I'm too romantic. No woman can possibly live up to the promise of tomorrow that love holds for me. Denny Crane: What about me? Alan Shore: That not the same. You know one thing I do love about you? Denny Crane: Tell me! Alan Shore: While many people embrace the promise of tomorrow, too few celebrate the joy of now. And nobody does that like Denny Crane. Denny Crane: Let me tell you something. When you got polar ice caps melting and breaking off into big chunks and you got Osama still hiding in a cave, planning his next attack, when you got other rogue nations with nuclear arsenals, and not to mention some wack-job, home-grown that can cancel you at any second and when you got...mad cow, now gets high priority. And when you're still on the balcony on a clear night, sipping scotch with your best friend, now is everything. Alan Shore: Here's to that. Denny Crane: Here's to now.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Tabloid Nation Denny Crane: Denny Crane, Reasonable Doubt for a reasonable fee.
	Season 4 / Episode 15: - Tabloid Nation Denny Crane: Que seran, seran. Alan Shore: Sera. Denny Crane: Really? I thought it was seran. Alan Shore: No. Sera. Denny Crane: What's seran? Alan Shore: It's a wrap - keeps sandwiches fresh.
	Season 4 / Episode 2: - The Innocent Man Denny Crane: I didn't proposition her. I merely asked her to sleep with me.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - Trial of the Century Denny Crane: I once captained my own spaceship!
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - Trial of the Century Denny Crane: Do you know who I am? Judge Phyllis Tamber: Yes, I do. You used to be Denny Crane.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - Trial of the Century Alan Shore: Could I have a second alone, Denny? Denny Crane: With me? Alan Shore: With the judge.
	Season 3 / Episode 24: - Trial of the Century Denny Crane: To next season, my friend. Alan Shore: I can't wait to see what we do next! Denny Crane: I'm just getting started! Alan Shore: Denny Crane. Denny Crane: Alan Shore. Alan Shore: Flamingos.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Guantanamo By The Bay Denny Crane: She's not good for you, Alan. [referring to Judge Gloria Weldon] Alan Shore: Why not? Denny Crane: She just isn't. A woman knows these things. Trust me. Alan Shore: Denny, you're not a woman. Denny Crane: Whatever!
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Guantanamo By The Bay Denny Crane: Women! Alan Shore: Can't live with them. Denny Crane: Can't take 'em quail hunting.
	Season 3 / Episode 12: - Nuts Denny Crane: I can't fly. Alan Shore: You're just discovering this?
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Angel of Death Denny Crane: I just heard! New Orleans! My penis is already packed! Alan Shore: Denny, I would love for you to join, but this particular excursion is a rather serious one. Maybe you and I could go another time. Denny Crane: Are you nuts? That damned tornado wiped out half the place. There's no time like the present. Alan, we must seize the hookers - uh, the day. Alan Shore: You know, Denny, technically it wasn't so much a tornado as a hurricane. And you're holding a kazoo. Denny Crane: Not just any kazoo. A trombone kazoo. A go-to-New-Orleans-under-the-pretext-of-some-legal-case-to-play-with-a-Dixie -land-band kazoo. Vanessa Walker: I only have two plane tickets. Denny Crane: Oh, gee, I only have a Gulf Stream. Alan Shore: I think Denny wants to come, Vanessa. Denny Crane: Denny Crane: Down on the Bayou.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - Angel of Death Alan Shore: I tried closing my eyes again... to imagine. I couldn't. Nobody could, I suppose, unless they were there. Denny Crane: I was there. Well, I flew over in my Gulf Stream. Doesn't that count? Alan Shore: To some.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - The Nutcrackers Denny Crane: [Staring at the cross-dressed man sitting on the other side of Alan's desk] Is that a guy? Alan Shore: [Smiles] Don't be silly. Denny Crane: Seriously, I think that's a guy!
	Season 3 / Episode 6: - The Verdict Denny Crane: Wanna pull my scrotum? Alan Shore: Maybe later. [Both simultaneously puff their cigars]
	Season 2 / Episode 27: - BL: Los Angeles Shirley Schmidt: Denny! You're back. Denny Crane: I am? I am. And I'm all here. Shirley Schmidt: Congratulations on your big victory, it's all over the news. Married? Denny Crane: No. Shirley Schmidt: You tried. Denny Crane: I did.
	Season 2 / Episode 27: - BL: Los Angeles Denny Crane: Shirley. This is a sweeps episode. Shirley Schmidt: I'm not kissing you. Denny Crane: Shirley! I'm in my seventies. I'm still a physical specimen, but you never know. What if I drop dead one day? You never got that last tonsil brushing. Shirley Schmidt: You always present the most ethically challenging what-ifers.
	Season 2 / Episode 27: - BL: Los Angeles Alan Shore: You ever wonder if you and I are la-la? Denny Crane: Don't be ridiculous. We're flamingos. And good ones.
	Season 2 / Episode 26: - Spring Fever Denny Crane: Shirley, this is a sweeps episode!
	Season 2 / Episode 24: - Deep End of the Poole Alan Shore: Denny Crane! Denny Crane: Alan Shore! Alan Shore: Leaders of men! Denny Crane: With bulleyes on our asses!
	Season 2 / Episode 24: - Deep End of the Poole Alan Shore: I have no defense, Denny. I broke the law. Denny Crane: So? Alan Shore: So, usually in these situations I go with jury nullification. Persuade the jury to focus on the moral, not the legal, but here it makes no difference! What I did was unethical, immoral, illegal... Denny Crane: You're being so negative. Alan Shore: I need you to close. Denny Crane: What do you mean? Alan Shore: I'll try the case, but at the end I need somebody else to stand before the jury and say, "Let the man go." Denny Crane: And you want me to do that? Alan Shore: There was a day when all you had to do was say your name. Denny Crane: That's still all I do. Alan Shore: Denny, I find in life, and I know you must, that craft doesn't matter so much if one is a big enough star. You've spent your entire life getting away with who and what you are, because you're a star! Denny Crane: Big star. I blow solar flares out of my ass. Alan Shore: I need your start power here. I need you to stand up before that jury when we're done and tell them, "Let Alan Shore go!" Denny Crane: Really? Alan Shore: I have a gut feeling it's my best shot. Denny Crane: Let him go! Denny Crane. I'll do it.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Ivan the Incorrigible Denny Crane: Alan, you know, one thing you sometimes forget is, no matter how hard your day, no matter how tough your choices, how complex your ethical decisions, you always get to choose what you have for lunch. Alan Shore: Daily, I am amazed at your inexhaustible ability to just live. Denny Crane: It's either that or die.
	Season 2 / Episode 22: - Ivan the Incorrigible Denny Crane: Nothing worse than having your heart crushed and your pride stung all on the same day. Shirley Schmidt: My God, we have the fastest water cooler in town. I feel like such a fool. Denny Crane: Ah, forget it. If anyone knows about being a fool it's Denny Crane.
	Season 2 / Episode 20: - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Denny Crane: So, you and Shirley. Gives us something in common. Ivan Tiggs: Hell of a woman! Denny Crane: Gives us something else in common. Ivan Tiggs: What's that? Denny Crane: We're both leading men. We're like stars of our own show; only the star doesn't have one leading lady. Oh, sure. Sometimes at the end of an episode... looks like he's settling down with someone, but next week, she's not there, it's somebody else. It's a way of holding up viewer interest. Ivan Tiggs: You're a strange man, Denny Denny Crane: A strange leading man.
	Season 2 / Episode 19: - Stick It Denny Crane: Why Alan? That's all I'm gonna ask. Why? Alan Shore: Some people see things as they are and ask why? Others see things as they never were and claim mad cow.
	Season 2 / Episode 17: - ...There's Fire! Denny Crane: You know, the best part of my marriages has always been the first day. Alan Shore: Just married. Grand thing. But for me there was nothing more devastatingly lonely than being married for a while. Denny Crane: You never talk about your wife. What was she like? Alan Shore: She had all the most delectable qualities one could hope for. Creativity, desire, zealotry, a gorgeous clavicle, healthy lack of inhibition. Denny Crane: Sounds spectacular. What happened? Alan Shore: She began to know me too well, and I began to hate her for it. Even when I was unpredictable, she'd predict it. For those of us who aspire to be original, that's the worst sort of banality. She died. I've missed that banality ever since.
	Season 2 / Episode 15: - Smile Denny Crane: I don't fear death - never have. But I do fear being hooked up to a machine ... would you want to live like that? Alan Shore: No, Denny, if it came to that, I'd pull the plug. Denny Crane: Pull the plug? That's no way to die. I want you to shoot me!

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