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The Beulah Show tv show

The Beulah Show

- Episode Quotes

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The Beulah Show Quotes

Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: Everybody says I'm a girl that knows all the answers; the only trouble is no one asks me the questions.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: Don't let anyone tell you I'm in the market for a husband. 'Course, I would be, but they don't sell husbands in a market.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alice Henderson: Woman prefer men with polished manners, don't they Beulah?
Beulah: You just give me the man and I'll do my own polishin'.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Alice Henderson: Anyway, you needn't be annoyed with me just because I don't want my son to grow up to be awkward with women.
Harry Henderson: Well, he happens to be my son, too!
Alice Henderson: I know. That's exactly what worries me.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: What are you doin' over here this time of day?
Bill Jackson: Oh, uh, I put on the wrong pants this morning.
Beulah: Uh-huh. Continue, lover.
Bill Jackson: Uh, the other pair of pants has my money in 'em.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Bill Jackson: You can read my mind like a book.
Beulah: That's easy - there's only one page in it.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: Maybe Madame Matilda couldn't teach ya, but you can't miss with Madame Beulah.
Bill Jackson: And don't forget Monsieur Bill!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: I know one thing - if the chairman of the refreshment committee goes, the refreshments goes with her. C'mon, Bill!
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: Donnie, there's no use in mopin' when you're feelin' low. What you need to do is talk your problems over man-to-man.
Donnie Henderson: What man do you mean?
Beulah: Well, for instance, why not go over to Bill's fit-it-shop and talk things over with him.
Donnie Henderson: Think he could help?
Beulah: Oh, sure! Bill makes a lot of sense... a lot of sense.

Beulah: 'Cept when it comes to me.
Unknown Episode Unknown Episode:

Beulah: If marriages are made in heaven, my guardian angel has sure been loafin' on the job!


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