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 | Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Veronica Palmer: A female mentor would have been very valuable for a young Veronica, who was bursting with potential - yet vulnerable, like a fawn in the woods. But tough, like a fawn in the woods with a machine gun. |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Linda Zwordling: [to Veronica] There's really no middle ground with you. Either you don't care at all or you care 100 and crazy %. |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Veronica: You're tougher than I thought Linda. You're like a fire-breathing, razorback fawn! |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Veronica: I'm getting an award! Every year the Veridian Charitable Foundation honours someone who's been outstanding and this year they've chosen me. Linda Zwordling: For what? Veronica: For being outstanding! Linda Zwordling: For being outstanding at what? Veronica: [pause] *I'm* getting an award! Ted Crisp: You realize as an honouree you're gonna have to raise a bunch of money for the foundation? Veronica: I know, that's the part I'm dreading. Linda, you do it for me. Huh, that wasn't so bad! Linda Zwordling: Before I agree to do something I have no choice in, do you even know which charity Veridian's giving the money too? Veronica: [pause] *I'm getting at award!* |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Ted Crisp: Hey, I know you guys - do not name that corpse because he's going back! |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Linda Zwordling: His head made a boop sound! Veronica Palmer: Boop! |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Veronica: It's time for this fawn to strap on a machine gun, spread it's wings, and fly Linda Zwordling: Okay, what exactly do you think a fawn is? |
| Season 2 / Episode 11: - Mess of a Salesman Linda Zwordling: [Speaking to Mr. Page; head of the Veridian charity foundation] No, we're not done here. This woman opened her heart, and that happens so rarely, you could hear the hinges squeak. I will not let you slam that rusty heart door shut. Veronica: [From behind Linda] Go, Linda. Release your anger. Linda Zwordling: You will not crush this woman's spirit and love. You spineless, condescending bureaucrat. Veronica: Good, Linda. Only your hatred can destroy him. Linda Zwordling: You, sir, are a bad egg. Veronica: Yes! now strike! Linda Zwordling: [Head butts Mr. Page] Wow. Where did that come from? Veronica: I *am* a good mentor. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 8: - The Impertence of Communicationizing Ted Crisp: Don't blame me for how I look, God made me this way, and then he told me where to shop for suits. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Veronica: [At Gordon Jenkins' Memorial] Carl Jenkins Ted: Gordon Veronica: Carl Gordon Ted: Jenkins Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins Ted: Gordon Jenkins Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins Gordon Jenkins... are you sure that's right? Ted: That's fine. |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Ted: Well, all my stuff is still here. And they didn't spring the trap door on me in the lobby. So I guess I haven't been fired. Veronica: Nope. We won. Apparently after we stormed out last night, the whole department filed out behind us. Ted: So the company backed down on the new hours? [Veronica nods in assent] I... we did it, because I/we stood up for what was right. I/we am proud of me/us. Veronica: I/me, too, Ted. Together, we're like Gandhi. I'm skinny, and you're tan. |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Veronica: Carl Jenkins... Ted: Gordon. Veronica: Carl Gordon... Ted: Jenkins. Veronica: Carl Gordon Jenkins... Ted: Gordon Jenkins. Veronica: Carl Gordon-Jenkins Gordon-Jenkins - are you sure that's right? |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Lem: Gordon Jenkins was a good man. But he was also a complex man. For example, he liked coffee, but he did not like having coffee thrown at him. In fact, Jenkins hated being burned by any hot liquid. In that way, he was like many of us, sensitive to heat. What a character. Goodbye, Jenkins. I hope you're throwing coffee at God right now. |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Veronica: And I'd like to unhinge my jaw and swallow you like a mouse, but we both have to work with what we have. |
| Season 2 / Episode 6: - Change We Can't Believe In Veronica: [reading a comic strip] This cartoon resonates with my own experience of office life, but, through a comical lens. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Great Repression Linda Zwordling: I don't want a sex disease! Especially one that's assigned to me by my supervisor. |
| Season 2 / Episode 5: - The Great Repression Linda Zwordling: I don't want to lose this job. What am I supposed to do? Go back to Wisconsin and work in the cheese mines? After I made that big speech, threw down my cheese shovel, and stormed out? |
 | Season 2 / Episode 4: - It's Nothing Business, It's Just Personal Veronica Palmer: God, you people are paranoid. No wonder the company has to secretly manipulate you. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 3: - Battle of the Bulbs Veronica: [referring to Linda] You should jump on that Ted before the crazy outweighs the hot. |
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - Love Blurts Ted: So to save money, the company is getting involved in people's sex lives? They may regret that, like when they tried to replace food in the cafeteria with those nutrition pellets. Veronica: Unlike eating those pellets, this is not a mandate. Anything that starts with the word "wheee" is just a fun suggestion, like the constitution and "wheee" the people. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 12: - Jabberwocky Ted: Who wouldn't lie to that face? |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Jabberwocky Linda: Well, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but I'm building a rooftop garden and I need a super energy-efficient way to light it at night. Lem Hewitt: Have you considered a 'plove'? |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Jabberwocky Ted: Business is changing; Changing at the speed of information. Whoever adapts first wins - in order to compete we Innovate; in order to Innovate we redefine; and how do we redefine? With a New Definition! |
| Season 1 / Episode 12: - Jabberwocky Veronica: This is going great! Ted Crisp: Think how great it would be if we'd come up with a product. Veronica: Products are for people who don't have presentations. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 11: - Father, Can You Hair Me? Phil: My head was screaming no, but my mouth was chewing gum. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 9: - Bioshuffle Linda: Are you staring at my butt? Ted: Hm? No, your butt is in my staring place. So technically, it's staring at me. Linda: Sorry. It's from a small town. It's never seen a big business man like you before. Ted: Well, tell it to act more professional. It's making a spectacle of itself. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Bioshuffle Veronica Palmer: [Ted and Linda are sharing an office] I must say, the thought of you guys in there sickens me. Ted: You're not jealous, are you? Veronica Palmer: "Jealous" implies I can't have something I want. This is more like if someone borrows my stapler, even if I'm not using the thing, I still don't like the thought of someone else pounding away on it. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Bioshuffle Phil Myman: Why don't you go talk to her? Lem Hewitt: [gazing hopelessly at Lucy] Talk to her? Would you talk to a rainbow? or a sunset? Phil Myman: If I wanted to get it on with refracted light, I would. |
| Season 1 / Episode 9: - Bioshuffle Phil Myman: Oh god, Lem, you're using science for no good. We took an oath we would try to do that less. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 8: - You Are the Boss of Me Veronica: I used to feed my sister in her sleep so she wouldn't be skinnier than me. |
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