Becker Quotes

Becker

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Subway Story Jake Malinak: Hector, just the man I wanna see. Hector Lopez: Actually, you'd wanna see pretty well anybody.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Subway Story Dickie: Regular coffee will be fine. Donna: In a clean cup. Chris Connor: Oh, in a clean cup. I'll see what I can do. [aside to Jake at counter] What a bitch! Jake Malinak: [walks from counter toward couple] Hi folks. I'm Jake. I run the newsstand here. Dickie: Do you here that, honey? He's blind, and he runs his own business. Donna: It's a newsstand, not Microsoft. Jake Malinak: [aside to Chris at counter] Not just a bitch-a patronizing bitch!
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Subway Story Donna: [to Dickie, after he insulted her] That's it! I'm going to Paris! I'm going to shop my ass off! Actually, I'm going to shop your ass off! Dickie: [to Chris] I'd send John my regrets, but it seems I'm taking them to Paris.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Subway Story Linda: You know why we have so many young male patients? Because I have the ass of a 16 year old boy, which for some reason guys like.
	Season 6 / Episode 12: - Subway Story Naomi: He would have been forty... today. Dr. John Becker: Who? Who would have been forty? Naomi: My son. Naomi: It's funny. He got to work early that morning and called me just to chat about... dinner that weekend, the trip he was planning, the weather. It was such a beautiful September day. He said he could see practically all of Manhattan from his office. He loved that view. Then he had to go to a meeting. Didn't even say goodbye, just said he'd call me later. I did the dishes, I made coffee... and then I... just happened to turn on the TV. Ever since, I've thought of all things I would have said if I'd... known... I'd never talk to him again. Dr. John Becker: I'm so sorry. Naomi: [starts to cry] I've been telling myself to come down here ever since... since it happened. Now I've finally made it and... I can't go up there. I'm afraid to look and... and see... all that emptiness...
	Season 6 / Episode 11: - Snow Means Snow Chris Connor: Ooh, it's cold outside. Feel. [puts her hands around Jake's neck] Jake Malinak: Ow! Why do women always do that? Why is it always, 'My hands are cold. Feel.' Why isn't it, 'My breasts are cold. Feel.' Chris Connor: Gee, I don't know. I'll bring it up at the next meeting.
	Season 6 / Episode 11: - Snow Means Snow Linda: Can I leave early, Thursday? Thanks. Margaret Wyborn: You're welcome, and no, you may not. Thursday is my anniversary, and Louis is giving me a very special present. He's leaving town.
	Season 6 / Episode 11: - Snow Means Snow Hector Lopez: Jake, you wanna come with me? Jake Malinak: Sure, you want some company? Hector Lopez: No, I need you so I can park in the handicapped zone. Jake Malinak: Well, okay... Hey, can I drive? Hector Lopez: Why not?
	Season 6 / Episode 4: - Spontaneous Combustion Dr. John Becker: [after Ming insulted Becker] Is that how you treat all your good customers? Ming: When you come in at 5:59 just for the early bird special, and then use so many coupons I end up owing you money, you are not a good customer.
	Season 6 / Episode 1: - What's Love Got To Do With It? Chris Connor: Just to set the record straight, I don't love you. Dr. John Becker: Well, I don't love you! I don't even know what made me think I could like you. You're so cute and sweet and nice and perky. Chris Connor: Oh! Well, it's better than being a cranky old fart! Dr. John Becker: I'm not cranky! There's just certain things that irritate me. Chris Connor: Yeah, everything irritates you! You wouldn't know happiness if it bit you in the ass! Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, why don't you bite me in the ass? Chris Connor: Oh, why don't you bite yourself in the ass? Your head's right there, anyway! Dr. John Becker: Just go away, would you? Chris Connor: I'm going! Good night! Dr. John Becker: Good night! Chris Connor: No, no, good night! Dr. John Becker: You wanna have dinner with me some time? Chris Connor: I'd love to!
	Season 5 / Episode 17: - Thank You for Not Smoking Dr. John Becker: [about diner's new smoking ban] You can't do that. You gotta give a guy a warning. Chris Connor: What? Can't you read? There's one here on the package. Dr. John Becker: Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of rats get emphysema, it's supposed to change my life?
	Season 5 / Episode 11: - Once Upon a Time Dr. John Becker: [ten years previously, holds out a bottle of Scotch] Would you like a drink? Margaret Wyborn: No thanks. Dr. John Becker: Alcoholic. Margaret Wyborn: Job hunting. Dr. John Becker: When I was looking for a job, all I wanted to was drink.
	Season 5 / Episode 11: - Once Upon a Time Chris Connor: [listening to Jake's keyboard playing a stripper drum solo] Boy, that brings back memories. Sophomore year. Couldn't get a student loan.
	Season 5 / Episode 11: - Once Upon a Time Dr. John Becker: Ten years. That's the longest successful relationship I've ever had with a woman. Margaret Wyborn: It probably helped that I got to go home every day. Dr. John Becker: I suppose you expect me to give you a raise. Margaret Wyborn: No need. I gave myself one. Dr. John Becker: How much? Margaret Wyborn: Well, more than you would give me, but less than I deserve. Dr. John Becker: No, seriously. How much?
	Season 5 / Episode 9: - Blind Injustice Dr. John Becker: And by the way, anything you say can and will be held against you. Man: Oh yeah, well up yours. Dr. John Becker: See, that'll be held against you.
	Season 5 / Episode 7: - Papa Does Preach Jim: Jerry left a note for you on the palm of my hand. Dr. John Becker: [reads Jim's palm] Well, there's no call for that kind of language.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - The 100th Chris Connor: [seeing Bob and Jake hug] I gotta say, I didn't see this one coming.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - The 100th Dr. John Becker: Tony's gay. Chris Connor: Damn! The good ones are always taken, and the other ones are, well... you.
	Season 5 / Episode 6: - The 100th Dr. John Becker: It's about Chris and a lesbian nurse. Bob: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! That's my favorite bedtime story. Dr. John Becker: All I know is, if they get together, I'm screwed. Bob: Oh, so you know how it ends.
	Season 5 / Episode 1: - Someone's In The Kitchen with Reggie? Dr. John Becker: Last night after we kissed, I came over here and I slept with Reggie, so I don't think it's going to work out between us. Chris Connor: Wow! Bob: Why doesn't he just kick a dog while he's at it.
	Season 5 / Episode 1: - Someone's In The Kitchen with Reggie? Customer: When I woke up this morning I realized that going to bed with you was the best thing I've ever done. Dr. John Becker: This is kind of embarrassing... Go on. Customer: It made me see just how desperate I really was.
	Season 4 / Episode 23: - Much Ado About Nothing (1) Dr. John Becker: So..., what's going on around here? Jake Malinak: Well, Reggie just split-up with her imaginary boyfriend. Dr. John Becker: Wow, even the pretend ones dump you.
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Piece Talks Bob: There is no other guy. Lenny's the guy, other guys wish they knew guys who know guys like Lenny knows guys.
	Season 4 / Episode 20: - Piece Talks Bob: Look, Bob knows a guy who supplies freezers to the whole east coast. I mean you'll get it for below what my guy gets it from guys who sell it through other guys who wish they were guys who knew guys like my guy.
	Season 4 / Episode 16: - Let's Talk About Sex Kenny: My sister says you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex. Dr. John Becker: Yeah, well, your sister's an idiot. Kenny: That's what my dad says.
	Season 4 / Episode 11: - Another Tricky Day Dr. John Becker: Yea right, astrology what a load of crap. Regina 'Reggie' Kostas: You don't think people's lives are effected by the stars? Bob: Wait, are we talking about planets or celebrities? Because clearly when Brad Pitt is in town traffic is tied up for hours. Linda: I love Brad Pitt. Bob: Me too! But in a totally non-gay way.
	Season 4 / Episode 6: - Get Me Out of Here Margaret Wyborn: [referring to Becker's ducking out of his appointment the day before] The hospital called about your MRI. Apparently, it found a long yellow streak down your back.
	Season 4 / Episode 6: - Get Me Out of Here Dr. John Becker: [to Reggie, after having stripped off all his clothes] You know, I can't stay here talking to you. I've got to get back to the office. [walks out]
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Really Good Advice Jake Malinak: Bob, you solve problems. Me, I sell people candy, cigarettes, and porn. I am their problems.
	Season 4 / Episode 5: - Really Good Advice Regina "Reggie" Kostas: Becker, I didn't know you had a cell phone. Dr. John Becker: I only use it for emergencies-like proving you wrong.

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