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Butt-Head Quotes
 | Season 8 / Episode 11: - School Test/Snitchers Beavis: That reminds me, Butt-Head. You have that $2 that I loaned you? Butt-Head: Uh... I don't have it, bitch. |
| Season 8 / Episode 11: - School Test/Snitchers Beavis: Yeah, we saw him kicking ass, your Honor. Butt-Head: You said "You're on her." Beavis: Oh, yeah. You're on her. Boy, nothing gets by you, Butt-Head. You should be a lawyer. |
| Season 8 / Episode 11: - School Test/Snitchers Principal McVicker: Beavis & Butt-head, you are the two worst students this school has ever seen! Thanks to you we could lose our funding! Teachers will get laid off! I could lose my job and my pension! Butt-head: Uh... huh huh huh... did you say something about a "child's left behind"? Beavis: Yeah... heh heh heh... he definitely said something about a "child's left behind"! Butt-head: No wonder you're gonna lose your job. Principal McVicker: SHUT UP! |
| Season 8 / Episode 11: - School Test/Snitchers Butt-head: [commenting on a segment from Teen Mom in which the mom in question failed a math test for GED requirement] You may suck at math, but 39% means you failed. Uh huh huh huh huh... |
| Season 8 / Episode 11: - School Test/Snitchers Todd Ianuzzi: [Todd is on trial for assault] Tomorrow, the judge is going to come and he's going to subpoena the both of you! Butt-head: Uh huh huh huh huh... you said sub... |
 | Season 8 / Episode 10: - Time Machine/Massage Butt-head: Damn it. We're back, and Van Driessen got born. Beavis: That sucks. I thought we blocked him from scoring. Butt-head: We should've kicked him in the nads and broke his weiner. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 9: - Used Car/Bounty Hunters Butt-head: [commenting on a music video in which two guys are trashing an office building] That's how we roll through the Century 21 branch office! Beavis: Biyatch! |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Used Car/Bounty Hunters Butt-head: [commenting on a music video where the two band members are committing various crimes and acting cool about it] If their music didn't make you hate 'em, they're giving you plenty of other reasons. |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Used Car/Bounty Hunters Beavis: [commenting on a segment from Jersey Shore in which the Situation is home alone and concocts a plan to feed the dog junk food so he poops everywhere] Whoa! That's the master plan? A better master plan would be for the Situation to poop on the floor, and then blame it on the dog! Butt-head: Whoa, Beavis, that's pretty good! You're like smarter than the Situation! Beavis: Really? Heh heh heh... |
| Season 8 / Episode 9: - Used Car/Bounty Hunters Butt-head: [commenting on a Jersey Shore segment] Jesus died for their tans. Uh huh huh huh huh huh huh... |
 | Season 8 / Episode 8: - Copy Machine/Holding Beavis: I wonder what my butt looks like with all those stitches. Butt-Head: Huh-huh. Probably looks like a baseball. |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Copy Machine/Holding Porn Director: I love crank, especially chasin' that white dragon. What exactly you guys holdin'? Break it out. Butt-Head: Uh, you want to see my crank? Beavis: Um, heh. Yeah, um, I don't show my white dragon to dudes. Yeah, heh-heh. Sorry. Butt-Head: Uh... You've never shown it to chicks either, dumbass. Beavis: Oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't show it to dudes on purpose. See what I'm sayin'? Not even in the gym. |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Copy Machine/Holding Butt-head: [commenting on a segment from "True Life: I Have A Foot Fetish"] This must be this guy's job - he goes to the Red Robin and growls. Beavis: [death metal style growl] KRAMER PARTY OF 3 YOUR TABLE IS READY! |
| Season 8 / Episode 8: - Copy Machine/Holding Beavis: Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Do not copy my butt. Butt-head: Hey Beavis... you should, like, copy your butt. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 7: - Doomsday/Dumb Design Butt-head: Good evening. Tonight we are going to be reviewing a wonderful and inspiring film called "The Human Centipede." |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Doomsday/Dumb Design Beavis: [commenting on a segment from Jersey Shore] Whoa! There's a law of intelligence? Butt-head: Yeah... you might want to hire a lawyer, Beavis. |
| Season 8 / Episode 7: - Doomsday/Dumb Design Butt-head: This is an ad for one of those boner pill commercials. Beavis: Every day millions of Americans can't get wood. Ask your doctor if Levitan is right for you. Side effects may kick ass. Butt-head: Levitan may cause excessive vomiting, loss of vision, bluriness... Beavis: And a boner that goes on for four hours! Butt-head: That would be cool! |
 | Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Hardware Store Clerk: Got a rat problem, do ya? Butt-Head: Uh... yeah. He ate our nachos. Beavis: [in Spanish accent] And for that, he must die. |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Butt-Head: Boy, Beavis, that rat dude really likes you, huh-huh. He must be like a metrosexual or something. Beavis: Shut up, butthole! |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Maya: [after Beavis & Butthead release a seagull into the wild] Beavis & Butthead! I hope you didn't just hear me spewing doubts and despondency about making a difference. Butt-head: We're covered in oil. Maya: Yes you are! You're covered in oil, and you don't care that you're not making a difference. Do you think that I've made a difference? Butt-head: You've made a difference... in my pants. Beavis: Boioioioioioioioioing! |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Reporter: So tell me what you two are doing. Butt-head: We're like... covered in oil, and we're gonna do it. Reporter: Yes... we are all going to do it. A very profound statement in our society today. Butt-head: [thinking he's talking about sex] Get in line, buddy! |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Beavis: [commenting on a segment from Jersey Shore in which Snooki gets arrested] WHOA! You can get arrested for being an idiot? Butt-head: Yeah... you might want to lay low for a while, Beavis. Uh huh huh huh huh... |
| Season 8 / Episode 6: - The Rat/Spill Beavis: [commenting on a Jersey Shore segment where Snooki gets arrested] Whoa! You can get arrested for being an idiot? Butt-head: You might want to lay low for a while, Beavis. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 5: - Supersize Me/Bathroom Break Butt-head: We ate a lot of Burger World food... and now we're fat. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - Supersize Me/Bathroom Break Butt-head: We like Taco Yummo better because it gets you fatter quicker than Burger World. |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - Supersize Me/Bathroom Break Butt-head: [the Jersey Shore cast is working at a gelato shop] They're trying to make gelato look exciting. Beavis: Duhnananana... orange chocolate! Duhanananana... papaya! Butt-head: [Snooki comments about not wanting to go on Match.com again] She went on match.com and this guy put her to work. Beavis: [false Italian accent] I have match for you - you and this mop. Go make with floor! |
| Season 8 / Episode 5: - Supersize Me/Bathroom Break Beavis: [Snooki is reading a list of requirements for dates] A poem by Snooki... Uh huh huh huh... Beavis: I have that same list too, but she has to be a girl, she has to have at least one boob, and it can't be my mom. Butt-head: I have that same list too, but it like, includes your mom. |
 | Season 8 / Episode 4: - Holy Cornholio Butt-head: [commenting on a music video where a guy repeatedly falls down an escalator] Maybe if he'd get off the escalator and go buy something the economy wouldn't suck. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Holy Cornholio Butt-head: [commenting on an MGMT music video] It's like these guys decided to rebel against their parents by making even softer rock. |
| Season 8 / Episode 4: - Holy Cornholio Butt-head: [commenting on a music video] This music is for white people who've never had anything bad happen to them. It's like... they decided to rebel against their parents by making even softer rock. |
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