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Thomas Banacek Quotes
 | Season 2 / Episode 1: - No Stone Unturned Thomas Banacek: There's on old Polish proverb that says, "Only the centipede can hear all the hundred footsteps of his uncle." Jay Drury: [chuckling] Yeah. Uh-oh. Thomas Banacek: What's the matter? Jay Drury: That's the first one of those things I ever understood. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Erica Osburn: Are you surprised I'm here? Thomas Banacek: Not yet. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: Now how could I prefer a past that didn't include you? |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: Not here? Erica Osburn: Any minute you'll turn on a Ravel tape or something. Thomas Banacek: Actually, I was going to propose first. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: You don't look overweight. Erica Osburn: You've never seen me naked. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: Did I ask to get in your chopper? Erica Osburn: You could've. Thomas Banacek: Next time. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: He looks like the cartoon on the soup can. Erica Osburn: He *is* the cartoon on the soup can. Would you like to meet him? Thomas Banacek: I've never met a real cartoon. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: No offense, but do you always talk like that? Cap'n Jack Osburn: Like what? Thomas Banacek: Like a cross between Captain Ahab and Long John Silver's parrot. Cap'n Jack Osburn: Ha-ha, you've found me out, lad. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: I do this for a living. Henry DeWitt: So do I. Can we get on with this? |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Hippie Editor: I was a history professor. Thomas Banacek: Why'd you quit? Hippie Editor: Well, history doesn't change, and I sure did. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Thomas Banacek: She's an old friend from my non-protest period. Erica Osburn: You're disgusting. Thomas Banacek: I know. |
| Season 1 / Episode 8: - The Two Million Clams of Cap'n Jack Henry DeWitt: Ten per cent of two million dollars for two days' work. That's damn near un-American. Thomas Banacek: It might even be un-Polish. But that's the way it goes. |
| Season 1 / Episode 4: - A Million the Hard Way Linda Carsini: What did you say your name was? Thomas Banacek: Banacek. Linda Carsini: One name, like... uh... Superman? |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Read the whole library, my son, but the cheese will still smell after four days. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Twelve good horses and silver candlesticks won't stop the snow from falling in Bialystock. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: When your sleigh is being chased by wolves, throw them a raisin cookie, but don't stop to bake a cake. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: A wolf that takes a peasant to supper probably won't need any breakfast. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Just because a dress is red satin doesn't mean it comes off easily. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: No matter how warm the smile on the face of the sun, the cat still has her kittens under the porch. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Even though a man anoint himself with fragrant oils, he can still end up with a broken face. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to go to the Steamfitter's Picnic. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Only someone with nothing to be sorry about smiles back at the rear end of an elephant. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Though the hippopotamus has no sting on its tail, the wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the turkey. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: There's an old Polish proverb that says... |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: Even a thousand szloty note can't tapdance. |
| Unknown Episode: Thomas Banacek: If your socks are not in your shoes, don't look for them in Heaven. |
| Next: Jay Drury |
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