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 | Unknown Episode: Sapphire: [alone in the bedroom, browsing through an old photograph album, with a happy smile and sigh] Twenty-five years. |
| Unknown Episode: George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Mama, where you been? We been waitin' for you for two hours. Sapphire's Mama: I went to the beauty parlor to get fixed up. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Look, Mama, they can't do in two hours what you couldn't do all your life. |
| Unknown Episode: Judge: [Kingfish is on trial for robbery] Just what is your business, Mr. Stevens? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Well, uh, I is a, well, you might say I is a - financial ma-nip-i-lator. Judge: A financial manipulator? Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: [Andy stands] Uh, excuse me, your Honor, but he's tellin' the truth. Uh, he's been nippin' my finances for years. |
| Unknown Episode: George 'Kingfish' Stevens: When you went to grade school, how far did you go? Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Oh, about, uh, about three miles. Decided to cut through the cow pasture. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Look, Andy, I mean how long did you go to school. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Oh. Well, as I can remember, I spent two terms in the second grade. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Two terms, huh? Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Yeah - uh, Wilson's and Coolidge's. |
| Unknown Episode: Calhoun: You know, Kingfish, if Baker University ever give a course in sneakiness, - you'd graduate magnum-come-loudmouth. |
| Unknown Episode: Marilyn Jackson: [seeking comfort and advice from Sapphire regarding her love life] Oh, Mrs. Stevens, I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand about love - you're married. |
| Unknown Episode: Amos Jones: [learning that Sapphire may be having an affair] I can't believe she'd do a thing like this, but I guess Sapphire feels that by falling in love, again, she can recapture her youth. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: I don't know, Amos. It's gonna be pretty hard to capture anything that got away that long ago. |
| Unknown Episode: Amos Jones: [voice-over, as we watch two hoods blow open a safe at the Universal Investment Co] Hello, folks. This is Amos. You know it's strange that something that happened five years ago and three-thousand miles away from New York could ever affect the Kingfish and Andy, but believe it or not - it did. |
| Unknown Episode: Sapphire Stevens: [hoping to adopt] This baby I saw - he is heavenly. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Look, Sapphire, I got my hands full with you and Mama, and I ain't interested in openin' up a new front. |
| Season 2 / Episode 22: - The Light Blue Car Amos Jones: Well, folks, here comes Andy down the street, and he's wondering what the light is doin' on at the lodge hall at this time of night. Well, we'll soon find out. |
| Season 2 / Episode 21: - Income Tax Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: [trying to get to the bottom of Kingfish's latest scheme] Calhoun, are you gonna tell me the truth about this, or ain't you? Calhoun: Andy, how you go ask? This ain't none of my business! A deal like this is strictly a matter between the gypee and the gypor! |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - The Superfine Brush George 'Kingfish' Stevens: [looking inside a wallet that he has found on the sidewalk] Hmmm, empty. Must belong to a married man. |
| Season 2 / Episode 15: - The Superfine Brush George 'Kingfish' Stevens: [explaining what a ballet is to Andy] It's somethin' like the opera with the yellin' and the screachin' taken out of it. |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - Seeing is Believing Arbadella Jones: Daddy, will you get some Christmas music on the radio? Amos Jones: Why, darlin', this is the very best Christmas music you could get! They're going to sing, "The Lord's Prayer". |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - Seeing is Believing Arbadella Jones: But what does "The Lord's Prayer" mean, Daddy? Amos Jones: Well, you just be real quiet and I'll explain it to you. The first line of "The Lord's Prayer" is this: "Our Father who art in heaven..." That means, 'Father of all that is good, where no wrong can dwell...' |
| Season 2 / Episode 13: - Seeing is Believing Amos Jones: "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen." Now that means, darlin', that all the world and everything in it belongs to God's kingdom. Everything - your mommy, your daddy, your little brother, your sister, your grandma, you and everybody. And as we know that and act as if we know it - that, my darling daughter, is the real spirit of Christmas. |
| Season 1 / Episode 27: - Andy, the Godfather Amos Jones: [narrating] This is Amos. To a lot of people, eight o'clock in the morning is time for gettin' up, gettin' dressed, and going. But to the Kingfish, eight A.M. is just a halfway mark in a good night's sleep. At least, that's the way it was 'til this morning. |
| Season 1 / Episode 27: - Andy, the Godfather Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: I'm goin' home and wait for the end. Amos Jones: Uh, wait a minute, Andy. I don't know what's wrong with you, but if you's as sick as you act, you oughta go see a doctor. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: I think it's too late, Amos. I feels like they're riggin' up my mortis already. |
| Season 1 / Episode 24: - The Chinchilla Business George 'Kingfish' Stevens: He's leavin' on the five-fifteen, and if I don't think of somethin' fast, he gonna cut me out of his will, for sure! Algonquin J. Calhoun: Now calm down, Kingfish, calm down. Remember - no matter how messy a mess you is messed up in, there's always a way to un-mess yourself. |
| Season 1 / Episode 23: - The Diner Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Kingfish, I don't know about this turkey deal. I don't know whether I understand it or not. Uh, you say we is equal partners in this, huh? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Oooh - certainly, Andy. This a fifty-fifty proposition. Now into the corporation, I puts in my brain, my ingenuity, my integrity, and my vast experience in the business world. And all that, uh, you contributes to match this great gesture of mine is the measly sum of seventy-five dollars cash. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: You know, Kingfish, you is one fella that can really make money sound like nothin'. I'm almost ashamed to have it. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Oh, don't apologize, Andy, don't apologize. Just hand it over. |
| Season 1 / Episode 23: - The Diner George 'Kingfish' Stevens: [Kingfish had slipped an extra vote in the hat] Andy, you is now president of the company. Somethin' wrong, son? Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Kingfish, as close as I can figure, there ain't but two of us here, but there was three votes in that hat. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Well, Andy, uh, you've heard of a vote-by-proxy, hasn't you? Well, there was a proxy vote in there, and you just got peroxided into the job. |
| Season 1 / Episode 23: - The Diner George 'Kingfish' Stevens: [handing a pen to Andy] Just, uh, put your John Hamhock on dere. |
| Season 1 / Episode 19: - Kingfish Has a Baby George 'Kingfish' Stevens: On our honeymoon, Sapphire and I had our first argument. She laid me out cold with a vase. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Knocked you out on your honeymoon? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: I was unconscious three days. Andy, I hate to say this, but them were the three happiest days of my married life. |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Kingfish's Last Friend Amos Jones: [narrating] With Mr. Smithers comin' up to call at 8, the Kingfish didn't want to take no chances with his mother-in-law. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: That's right, Madam Olga, I'm bringin' my mother-in-law into your beauty parlor here this afternoon for a complete overhaul job. Madam Olga: Well, you make it sound like a big project. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Well, Madam Olga, I'm gonna give ya the problem with my mother-in-law. Have you ever been down to the beach and seen a grapefruit washed up on the sand, one that's been in the water for three or four weeks and then washed up and left to dry in the sun for a few days? Madam Olga: Yes. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Well, if you can get her lookin' that good, I'll be satisfied. |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Kingfish's Last Friend Sapphire Stevens: We're just goin' in the back room to look at television. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Yeah, can't miss Arthur Goofy. |
| Season 1 / Episode 17: - Kingfish's Last Friend George 'Kingfish' Stevens: [with Sapphire, peeking into the living room from the kitchen] Uh-oh. Your mama's sittin' right under that hundred-watt bulb. If he get a look at her face in that bright light, romance flies right out da window. |
| Season 1 / Episode 15: - The Eyeglass George 'Kingfish' Stevens: I can't give you your money back. I'd be a violation of the building code. Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Well, how will it do that? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: I sold you a stucco house, and under the law, you is the stuckee. Get out of here before I figure some another law you done broken. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Viva La France George 'Kingfish' Stevens: What's goin' on here? Sapphire Stevens: If it's anything to you, I'm cleaning the house. What do you think I'm doin' with this broom? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Well, from that outfit and the looks of you, I thought you were gonna ride the thing. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Viva La France Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Hey, somethin' in the pocket here, Kingfish. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Yeah? Andrew 'Andy' Hogg Brown: Hmm, look like a pawn ticket. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Yeah, I remember that ticket. I had a bad year in '32, and I had to pawn my bridge. I tell ya, Andy, it's an awful feelin' to pass by the pawnshop and see your own teeth grinnin' at ya from behind the counter there. |
| Season 1 / Episode 10: - Viva La France Sapphire Stevens: George, is you sure you telling me the truth? George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Why, of course, Honey. You don't think for the world that I'd go to a Lonely Hearts Club, would ya? Sapphire Stevens: [sounding unsure] Well. George 'Kingfish' Stevens: Of course not, Dear. If I wanna be lonely, I don't hafta go to no club. I got you. |
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