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 | Season 7 / Episode 13: - Dr. Klaustus Steve Smith: Au revoir, les enfants. That means *BEEP* you! |
 | Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Wrestler Roger: Small bills are in the safe, the rest are in my ass. |
| Season 7 / Episode 12: - The Wrestler Francine Smith: You don't want to be here after closing... that's when they come to life. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 8: - The Unbrave One Francine Smith: Stan, I'm late for my period. Stan Smith: Maybe if you jump up and down... get things started. |
 | Season 7 / Episode 2: - Hurricane! Stan Smith: [sighs] What a day. Cleveland Brown: [off-screen] Tell me about it. Cleveland Brown: I don't even know where the hell I am. Stan Smith: [pulls out a gun] Looter! Cleveland Brown: [also pulls out a gun] Self-defense! Peter Griffin: A black and a white talking as if it's normal! Cleveland Brown: Peter, what are you doing? You know me! Peter Griffin: Everybody shut up and let me think! Just let me think! Francine Smith: Stan, have you... Peter Griffin: [laughs] Oh, man. Classic "American Dad". |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Hurricane! Principal Lewis: [standing on the roof of a building during a hurricane, wearing speedos and firing two machine guns into the sky] End of days, bitches! |
| Season 7 / Episode 2: - Hurricane! Stan Smith: We're moving. The house is moving, I see that now. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 12: - You Debt Your Life Snot: We had to do it, Steve... you were out of control. Barry: Like my cholesterol! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 10: - Stanny Boy and Frantastic Roger: I will not be a loser, I will stay on this phone as long as it takes. Steve, go get the diaper I sleep in after Indian food. |
| Season 6 / Episode 10: - Stanny Boy and Frantastic Cam: I can not tell you guys how glad we are to have found you. The last couple we met was so boring. Tom: Well that's because they are so old, I mean they were like 40. Steve Smith: 40, ha well Lois was he from that village in china where they live forever? |
 | Season 6 / Episode 8: - For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls Stan Smith: [simultaneously demonstrating with a rifle] Steve, shooting a gun is like being intimate with a woman. First, you inspect it to make sure it's clean. Then you grab it on the butt and jam the magazine in. If it doesn't fit, make it. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 6: - There Will Be Bad Blood Stan Smith: We're going to their tepee in crap-hole Arizona. |
 | Season 6 / Episode 2: - Son of Stan Steve Smith: Gotta go put a popsicle on the ol' starfish. |
| Season 6 / Episode 2: - Son of Stan Francine Smith: Chocolate chip pancakes and chardonnay... the Delta Burke breakfast it is! |
 | Season 6 / Episode 1: - 100 A.D. Francine Smith: [points at Jeff] Look at him... still rocks a goatee... poser ass bitch! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 17: - An Incident at Owl Creek Francine Smith: Do whatever you want. Just don't get it in my hair. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 14: - Cops & Roger Stan Smith: Roger's a dirty cop. He's been on the force for three hours! |
 | Season 5 / Episode 13: - The Return of the Bling Stan Smith: Oh son, every day with you is like a punch in the nads. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 11: - A Jones for a Smith Stan Smith: Ten bucks. Ten bucks and you can slap me with it. |
| Season 5 / Episode 11: - A Jones for a Smith Roger: You gonna share that crack you're doing or what? Stan Smith: Crack? This is cold medicine. Roger: No sir, it's crack. Stan Smith: It's not crack! I bought on a park bench outside a soup kitchen from a guy in a lime green sui... oh my God it's crack. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Roger: Ah, I love your religion - for the crazy! Virgin birth, water into wine; it's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Roger: Ascent! You're flying now! I hope I haven't missed the part where the three Chinese guys give perfume to the star baby. [laughs] It's like the diaries of a madman! |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Stan Smith: I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisys. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Stan Smith: We can't use the open road. It's too dangerous. Jesus Christ: What if we journey through Sector 16? Stan Smith: Sector 16? The perfect man just proposed the perfect way to die. Jesus Christ: Fine. What about Sector 35? Stan Smith: Sector 35 makes Sector 16 look like Sector 48! |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Stan Smith: God pays twice as much attention on Christmas, like the media when a white kid goes missing. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Stan Smith: It's raining wise men. Hallelujah. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Francine Smith: Stan Smith... go to Heaven! |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Jesus Christ: Kneel before the Lord... punk. |
| Season 5 / Episode 9: - Rapture's Delight Francine Smith: [while watching everyone ascend] What's going on? Father Donovan: It's the Rapture. Turns out there really IS a God. |
 | Season 5 / Episode 8: - G-String Circus Roger the Alien: Pillow Fight! [clocks the hooker, knocking her out] Whoops, forgot I put some sodas in there... |
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