Roger the Alien

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Seth MacFarlane
Seth MacFarlane was born in the small New England town of Kent, Connecticut where he lived with his ...

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Roger the Alien Quotes

	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Dungeons and Wagons Stan Smith: Francine, run! Roger the Alien: Oh, can't a brother get a "Run, Roger"? Damn! Gotta be all self-runnin' and whatnot!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Lincoln Lover Roger the Alien: [excited about Stan's fancy new drink] Oh my god, what is this and how can I replace my blood with it?
	Season 2 / Episode 1: - Camp Refoogee Roger the Alien: In the words of sit-coms in the early '90s and the midwest through out the '90s 'don't go there'.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - It's Good to be Queen Mitch: What delivering pizzas has taught me, is that Easy Street is not always the best route. Steve Smith: So true... Roger the Alien: When someone starts a sentence with "What delivering pizzas has taught me", that's usually the go-ahead to tune out.
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - Stannie Get Your Gun Roger the Alien: I'm going to make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears.
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Stan of Arabia (1) Roger the Alien: Oh, Ernest and Julio Gallo, you make a glorious wine, and a handsome couple!
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Stan of Arabia (1) Roger the Alien: I need a drink. Where's the booze? Hayley Smith: There is no booze. Saudi Arabia is a dry country. Roger the Alien: [pause] Seriously, where's the booze?
	Season 1 / Episode 12: - Stan of Arabia (1) Roger the Alien: Does this furniture polish have alcohol in it? [drinks it] Mmmmmm... tastes like I might die.
	Season 1 / Episode 11: - Con Heir Roger the Alien: Um... yeah. Could somebody tell Snake Pliskin here to back off?
	Season 1 / Episode 9: - A Smith in the Hand Roger the Alien: Oh, what fresh Hell is this?
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Homeland Insecurity Steve Smith: [talking about the cool things a video game alien can do] Oh... um... sorry, Roger Roger the Alien: No, no, you said it. It's out in the open. We have to live with it now.
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Homeland Insecurity Steve Smith: Seriously, can't you do anything? Roger the Alien: I can get my feelings hurt and throw a world-class hissy fit!
	Season 1 / Episode 6: - Homeland Insecurity Steve Smith: I'm running away. It's the only way I can escape those psycho Rangers. Roger the Alien: Oh! Oh, take me with you. Maybe my special power is keeping you from getting molested at the bus station. Maybe.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Roger Codger Roger the Alien: Don't hurt me! I know it sounds cliche, but I mean you no harm! Stanley Smith: You're the alien? But they said you'd be bigger, and with claws. Roger the Alien: Oh, I've got claws. Look how fat you are. See? Kitty can scratch.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Roger Codger Roger the Alien: God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Roger Codger Hayley Smith: Hello? Roger the Alien: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec? Hayley Smith: Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences? Roger the Alien: Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.
	Season 1 / Episode 5: - Roger Codger Stanley Smith: My butt is on the line! Roger the Alien: Well, that must be one massive line, 'cause your butt is huge!
	Season 1 / Episode 4: - Francine's Flashback Roger the Alien: [after knocking out two girls in their living room] Did you see where they went? Stanley Smith: Who? Roger the Alien: The black guys that did this.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Stan Knows Best Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby? Stanley Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Stan Knows Best Roger the Alien: I even watched the latest Meg Ryan movie where she played that burn victim. Steve Smith: She never played a burn victim. Roger the Alien: Oh, Meg, honey...
	Season 1 / Episode 3: - Stan Knows Best Steve Smith: Quivecs? That's not a word. Roger the Alien: It is on my planet! Francine Smith: Is it a proper noun? Roger the Alien: Damn!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Threat Levels Stanley Smith: [after the family is infected with a virus, Roger is making plans to redecorate the house] What makes you so sure you're going to survive? Roger the Alien: Oh, my species is immune to all human ailments. Stanley Smith: So explain that cold sore. Roger the Alien: [shouts] Mind your own business!
	Season 1 / Episode 2: - Threat Levels Roger the Alien: [the entire family will die, Roger is redecorating] I'm thinking of sea foam! What do you think? Roger the Alien: 'Cause, you know, I'm gonna need a lot of happy to get over all of the sad.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Roger the Alien: You know, we can't all look like those anorexic aliens in the James Cameron movies, Francine.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Roger the Alien: Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing cause that's a giant load of crap.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Hayley Smith: What do you know about Henry Kissinger? Roger the Alien: Well, I know he was a Jew, but if you get me some Churros, I can stretch that out to 500 words easy.
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - Pilot Roger the Alien: Oh, no, not my Frankenberry! Oh, Francine, be reasonable! [he crashes through the table, sending breakfast items everywhere] Oh, great. I've got a bear claw in my ass.

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