ALF Quotes

ALF

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Night Train ALF: Why must you needlessly complicate everything?
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Night Train Kate Tanner: [after ALF claims that according to a magazine article, he is a thrill-seeker] This from the same person who watched the movie Aliens from under the couch? ALF: Hey, I thought I owed one of those guys money.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Prime Time Willie Tanner: Let me just try to understand, ALF. [sic] The operative word in People Log is "people"... one of which you are... not... one. ALF: That's cruel. Not to mention poorly constructed from a grammatical standpoint.
	Season 1 / Episode 21: - Lookin' Through the Windows ALF: Oh heck, why must I be so darn curious?
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Mother and Child Reunion ALF: [to Dorothy] Yadayadayadayadayadayada!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - A.L.F. Kate: I said no soda pop. Brian: It's not soda pop, it's beer. Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: [burps] You're about out of Coors!
	Season 1 / Episode 1: - A.L.F. Willie Tanner: [voice-over] This is the way it began, that extraordinary night. The night... he came.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: [about Lucky] Last time I saw him he was high-tailing it out the window. Willie: And why was that? ALF: Cause I was chasing him with a fork.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: I know my rights, I watch People's Court.
	Unknown Episode: Brian: ALF wouldn't eat Lucky, would he? ALF: I'm not saying nothing until I speak to my attorney.
	Unknown Episode: Willie: Stay away from the window, we've got a very nosy neighbor - Mrs. Ochmonek. ALF: Ochmonek? Sounds like a typo.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Willie. If a window was broken in the woods, but there was no-one there to hear it, would it really be broken? Willie: If you were in the woods.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Haaa! I kill me.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: On Melmac, we have 1st class, 2nd class and ham.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: A minute and a half, Luckmiester, then I'll be down on you like a buzzard on a gut wagon.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: I wasn't known on Melmac as the whiz kid for my scholastic ability.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Putting humans in charge of the earth, is the cosmic equivalence of letting Eddie Murphy direct.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: How about a hug for the ol' ALFer.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: [slowly enters kitchen] The Great Orange hunter stalks his prey.
	Unknown Episode: Brian: Do you get Sesame Street where you live? ALF: No, and frankly I don't get it here either.
	Unknown Episode: Willie: Go back to the tent. ALF: It's too dangerous out there. I had to kill a fifty-foot snake with my pocketknife. Willie: There are no fifty-foot water snakes in the backyard. ALF: I'm telling ya, it was bright green and it spit water. Ths Ths ALF: . Willie: That was my new garden hose. ALF: Oh, no wonder it was sucking on the spigot.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: I'm reminded of a prayer he used to recite every night before going to bed, "And if I die before I wake, chicken-fry me like a steak."
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Where I'm from, this is ludicrous. It's like having a funeral for a hamburger.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you? Kate: Yes. Several times. ALF: I meant today.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it.
	Unknown Episode: Willie: Some people are so blinded by the thirst for money, that it causes them to lose their values and do things they shouldn't do. ALF: Well, that explains Ghostbusters II.
	Unknown Episode: ALF: Speaking of aggravation, we've got to do something about Brian. Kate: What's wrong with Brian? ALF: He's been experiencing some negative stroking from Kate lately. Kate: [in a sudden burst of anger] All right. That's it. Willie: Calm down. ALF: Stop ventilating. Kate: I am not ventilating. I am talking. [to Willie] And I resent the implication that I'm having a negative effect on my son's outlook. Oh I give up. I give up. ALF: You're letting out your emotions. Good. Now we can make some real progress. Willie: And you are spouting out a lot of psychological clichés you don't even understand. ALF: Why so hostile, Willie? I'm okay. You're okay. Willie: This must stop. ALF: That's right. A good scream. Let it fly. Willie: You cannot keep aggravating people like this. ALF: Why do you hate your mother?
	Unknown Episode: Willie: You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny.
	Unknown Episode: Brian: You'll have to chew with your mouth closed tonight, ALF. ALF: All right, but on my planet, that's considered very rude. People think you're hiding something.
	Unknown Episode: Kate: Don't break that remote. ALF: Kate, have I ever broken anything?

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