Malcolm

A Perfect State (UK)

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Played by:

Matthew Cottle

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Malcolm Quotes

Unknown Episode:

Malcolm: Why couldn't people just leave us alone?
Simon: Because you're all wrong. Because we're all British and we must stick together like... lumps in porridge. Don't you see? Europe is good for us. We'll never have to worry about our money again; the Germans'll do it for us. We don't have to catch our own fish again; the Spanish'll do it for us. We don't even need our own government; the Brussels'll do it for us.
Malcolm: You don't believe a thing you say.
Simon: Nonsense. I'm totally committed to a United Kingdom, a United Europe, a United Dairies.

Unknown Episode:

Malcolm: I've had enough. I've absolutely had enough. See, it was the boys who took your car after all; I was right all along. But I can't run this town properly if I'm going to have you lily-livered, wishy-washy liberals interfering all the time. So, I'm tendering my resignation.
Winston: Accepted.
Malcolm: Now, I know you want me to stay.
Laura: No, we don't.
Malcolm: But my mind is made - What?
Julie: Your resignation has been accepted.
Malcolm: Why? What's wrong with me?
Laura: We've already replaced you.
P.C. Bill: Hello, Malcolm.
Malcolm: But he's a policeman.
Laura: Yes, we thought that was a reasonable qualification for the job of policeman.
Malcolm: Oh, I see.
Julie: You were very good, Malcolm, but maybe teaching is your true vocation.
Malcolm: Hmm, yes. Well, maybe you're right. Probably does need some sort of jack-booted fascist git to run things properly. Welcome back, Bill. Evening, all.

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