30 Rock Quotes

30 Rock

- Episode Quotes

Fun Facts:

	Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain Jenna Maroney: [Jenna has followed the boys into the mensroom] Oh wow, they painted the ceiling in here!
	Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain Jack Donaghy: Good God Lemon, your breathe... When did you find time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Milton Green: A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Tracy Jordan: I grew up with that guy, he was the baddest gangster in my class. We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Stephen Killer.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Jack Donaghy: Ok, lets cut to the chase. MJ, you owe me. Who got you out of a 20 year exclusive performance contract at Seaworld? [Mary J. Blige rolls her eyes in defeat] Aiken, your cousin Kenneth Parcell already promised me you'd do this. [Clay Aiken rolls his eyes in disgust] And Elvis, or should I say Decland McManus, international art thief? Elvis Costello: Ok Jack Donaghy, you tumbled me. We'll do it.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Liz Lemon: We sure had quite a year. [slaps Jack on the back] Jack Donaghy: What are you talking about? It's May.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Liz Lemon: Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I have learned anything from my Sims family... when a child doesn't see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself. Jack Donaghy: Why don't I have any other friends?
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Jack Donaghy: You know what family means to me, Lemon? Resentment, guilt, anger... Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Liz Lemon: Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I have learned anything from my Sims family, when a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Liz Lemon: Wow, okay what about this? Maybe Donald is Tracy's son, because maybe Tracy is 60. Pete Hornberger: No, that's ridiculous. Liz Lemon: Think about it, he can't rap, he has diabetes, a lot of his friends are dead.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Lenny Wosniak: I gave my gun to my pastor, you know, in case I get the old "gloomies" again.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Jack: You know what family means to me Lemon? Resentment. Guilt. Anger. Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Kenneth Parcell: Now you're standing on the exact spot where Gracie Allen took Jack Paar's virginity.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Kenneth Parcell: Well, as a child, I had a prize pig that I thought was my best friend. But then one day I picked up one of her piglets - she went crazy! She bit off my nut sack... that I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Jack Donaghy: Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Liz Lemon: You cost the show a lot of money with your shenanigans. Tracy Jordan: Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Liz Lemon: Hey Jack, do you treat me any differently because I'm a woman? Jack Donaghy: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Jack Donaghy: Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Tracy Jordan: You are wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically manipulated shark.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Elisa: Lemon, isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Kenneth Parcell: My real name is... Dick Whitman!
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Liz Lemon: Wow, that is one gay lion.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Tracy Jordan: Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like on that HBO show, John Adams.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jenna Maroney: Oh, I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: You can't give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires attacked Woodstox?
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: Wait, you're dating one of the dancers? Kenneth Parcell: Oh, no sir, I actually haven't spoken to her yet, but I have a long term plan to marry her and I wanted the company to be aware of my intentions. Jack Donaghy: I see. I'll be sure to mention that at the next board meeting. Kenneth Parcell: Thank you, sir. Also, I don't know if this is harassment, but someone at the Today Show made me eat an unripe banana in front of her.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jenna Maroney: The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven-Symone for one day... but she knows what she did.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jenna Maroney: I'm prepared to slip a nipple if you think it will help.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: I'm going to Tupac you. Jenna Maroney: OK, but I have to pee first.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Liz Lemon: Excuse me, Mr. Weinerslav... Jeffrey Weinerslav: It's pronounced Wiener-slave.

« previous12 3 4 5 6 7 8 9… 12 13 next »

» Back to 30 Rock TV Show