Tracy Jordan

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Tracy Morgan

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Tracy Jordan Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Tracy Jordan: I grew up with that guy, he was the baddest gangster in my class. We called him Mean Steve. But his real name was Stephen Killer.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Liz Lemon: You cost the show a lot of money with your shenanigans. Tracy Jordan: Don't patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Tracy Jordan: You are wise, Liz Lemon. Like a genetically manipulated shark.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Tracy Jordan: Friendship and trust in the entourage is the most important thing. Like on that HBO show, John Adams.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Tracy Jordan: Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.
	Season 3 / Episode 17: - Cutbacks Tracy Jordan: Jenna, I just want you to know that if we find any human remains in there, I'm gonna throw up all over your face.
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Bubble Jack Donaghy: I've arranged for one of Tracy's childhood idols to reach out to him. Tracy Jordan: Hello? Jack Donaghy: Tracy, this is Jack, I have someone here who wants to speak with you. Rick: Tracy, this is Bill Cosby... Liz Lemon: [whispering] Really? This is your strategy? Jack Donaghy: [whispering and smiling] I heard him do this at a party! Rick: ...I want you to come back to the TGS for the people who like the jokes and the things. Tracy Jordan: Bill Cosby, you got a lotta nerve gettin' on the phone wit' me after what you did to my Aunt Paulette! Rick: I think you're confusing me with someone else. Tracy Jordan: 1971. Cincinnati. She was a cocktail waitress with the droopy eye! Rick: I'm the guy... with the pudding... Tracy Jordan: Don't try to tell me what to do! Heathcliffe Huxtable, wit' yo' light-ass kids! Jack! Why would you make me talk to this man? Jack Donaghy: Tracy, wait! [ Deepens voice slightly. ] Tracy this is Billy Dee Williams, I just wanna say I love your work, it's very smooth... [Lemon groans and walks out]
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Funcooker Tracy Jordan: Here comes the funcooker. [takes down his pants]
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Goodbye, My Friend Tracy Jordan: I don't need a birthday, 'couse I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they're often a surprise.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Retreat To Move Forward Tracy Jordan: So how bad is diabetes, really? Dr. Leo Spaceman: Quite serious. If left untreated you could lose a foot. Tracy Jordan: Could I replace it with a wheel, like Rosie from the Jetsons? Dr. Leo Spaceman: I suppose. But then you'd have to register as a motor vehicle.
	Season 3 / Episode 9: - Retreat To Move Forward Kenneth Parcell: You can't eat candy if you have diabetes. Tracy Jordan: There's no link between diabetes and diet. That's a white myth, Ken; like Larry Bird or Colorado.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Flu Shot Jenna Maroney: They need medicine. And what's the best medicine? Tracy Jordan: Medicine?
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Reunion Jenna Maroney: [bursting into Tracey's dressing room] Kenneth is a monster! Tracy Jordan: We have to stop him!
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Believe in the Stars Tracy Jordan: Do you know who I am? Seriously, please tell me who I am!
	Season 3 / Episode 1: - Do-Over Tracy Jordan: Let's go shopping. To the Batmobile! Grizz: [to Liz] Don't worry, he's just leasing it.
	Season 2 / Episode 14: - Sandwich Day Liz Lemon: [stampedes into the writers' desk after finding out that her sandwich is missing, with a statue in her hand] Where's my sandwich? Tracy Jordan: Lutz made us do it! Lutz: No it was Frank. Frank: Lie! It was you! [the three of them begin to overlap] Kenneth Parcell: Stop it! This is all my fault, Miss Lemon, because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for a good man to do nothing. Tracy Jordan: Please aks my permission before you quote me, Kenneth. Liz Lemon: I don't know how, but you're gonna get me another sandwich. Or I'm gonna cut your face up so bad you'll have a chin! [shouting] You'll all have chins!
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Succession Tracy Jordan: My genius is come alive... like toys when your back is turned.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Succession Tracy Jordan: Which of my hobbies should I indulge first... videogames or pornography?
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Succession Tracy Jordan: My genius will not be denied. I'm like Mozart. and you're like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart. Frank Rossitano: Salieri? Tracy Jordan: No thank you. I already ate.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Subway Hero Tracy Jordan: My fellow Blackmericans!
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Subway Hero Tracy Jordan: Now if you'll excuse me, Nixon asked me to take some stuff out of his Wikipedia page. [holds up a screwdriver]
	Season 2 / Episode 10: - Episode 210 Tracy Jordan: Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.
	Season 2 / Episode 9: - Ludachristmas Tracy Jordan: The holidays without drinkin' is rough. Turns out football is boring, my wife's sister ain't as cute as I though she was and I can not play the guitar.
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Somebody to Love Tracy Jordan: Stop eating people's old French fries, pigeon. Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
	Season 2 / Episode 6: - Somebody to Love Tracy Jordan: Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you're science.
	Season 2 / Episode 5: - Greenzo Liz Lemon: People are going to show up expecting all these great things, and they'll be really disappointed and angry. Tracy Jordan: Just like Colonial Williamsburg.
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Rosemary's Baby Tracy Jordan: [to his psychiatrist] Who's crazier,me or Ann Curry?
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Rosemary's Baby Tracy Jordan: Tracy Jordan: I don't need the therapy! I'm just mentally ill!
	Season 2 / Episode 4: - Rosemary's Baby Tracy Jordan: Who's crazier? Me or Ann Curry?
	Season 2 / Episode 3: - The Collection Tracy Jordan: The only way I can feel good about myself is to be booby slapped by a coked out Russian stripper.

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