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Characters: #8 of 10 (Full List)
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Played by:
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 | Season 2 / Episode 8: - Secrets and Lies Josh Girard: [laughs] You're lame thing is on his pants! |
 | Season 1 / Episode 15: - Hard Ball (a.k.a. Negotiation) Josh Girard: I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm important, I just bought the moon. |
| Season 1 / Episode 15: - Hard Ball (a.k.a. Negotiation) Liz Lemon: Now say 5 reasons I'm better than you. Josh Girard: You're smarter than me. Liz Lemon: One. Josh Girard: You beat me at arm wrestling. Liz Lemon: Two. Josh Girard: Uhh, you read the paper. Liz Lemon: Yeah, suck it. I do read the paper. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 13: - Up All Night Toofer: Okay, I got a hard one: Osama bin Laden, Martha Stewart, Jenna. Frank Rossitano: Bone Osama bin Laden, to shame him, and then his own people would murder him. Marry Martha Stuart, 'cause, you know, she seems like a dirty bird, and kill Jenna. Josh Girard: Cerie, marry, boff, kill: Lutz, Toofer or Kenneth. Cerie: I'd marry Toofer, because he's classy. I'd kill Lutz, sorry Lutz. Lutz: The thought that you'd do anything to me is awesome. Cerie: And I'd boff Kenneth. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 12: - Black Tie Josh Girard: The crew is playing a game of 'The Dozens' Your momma is so stupid she thought an iMac was a new hamburger at McDonald's. Liz Lemon: What's the difference between your momma and a washing machine? When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 10: - The Rural Juror Josh Girard: I had to let Tony watch me pee to get this tape. |
 | Season 1 / Episode 9: - The Baby Show Tracy Jordan: [answering phone] Yo! Josh Girard: [impersonating Jack Donaghy] Tracy. It's Jack Donaghy. I hear we have a problem with Josh Girard. Tracy Jordan: Damn right! Keeps impersonating me! Makin' me into a caricature! Josh Girard: Well, I would take care of this if I could. But it's tricky. You see, Josh's father's an assassin with the Russian mafia. They call him "El Matador." Tracy Jordan: Whoooa. Those dudes are crazy. Forget it. I don't need any of that noise. Josh Girard: It happies me. To hear you say that. For being so understanding, I'm sending you our new, super-top-secret invisible motorcycle. Tracy Jordan: For reals? Josh Girard: [laughs] For realsies. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see adoctor. I keep pooping during sex. |
| Previous: Kenneth Parcell | Next: Toofer |
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