Jack Donaghy

30 Rock

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Alec Baldwin
Raven haired, suavely handsome and prolific New York-born actor Alec Baldwin is easily the best known ...

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Jack Donaghy Quotes

	Season 4 / Episode 3: - Stone Mountain Jack Donaghy: Good God Lemon, your breathe... When did you find time to eat a diaper that you found on the beach?
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Jack Donaghy: Ok, lets cut to the chase. MJ, you owe me. Who got you out of a 20 year exclusive performance contract at Seaworld? [Mary J. Blige rolls her eyes in defeat] Aiken, your cousin Kenneth Parcell already promised me you'd do this. [Clay Aiken rolls his eyes in disgust] And Elvis, or should I say Decland McManus, international art thief? Elvis Costello: Ok Jack Donaghy, you tumbled me. We'll do it.
	Season 3 / Episode 22: - Kidney Now! Liz Lemon: We sure had quite a year. [slaps Jack on the back] Jack Donaghy: What are you talking about? It's May.
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Liz Lemon: Look, Jack, I don't have a lot of personal life experience, but if I have learned anything from my Sims family... when a child doesn't see his father enough, he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself. Jack Donaghy: Why don't I have any other friends?
	Season 3 / Episode 21: - Mama Mia Jack Donaghy: You know what family means to me, Lemon? Resentment, guilt, anger... Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Jack Donaghy: Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. It's America's Australia.
	Season 3 / Episode 20: - The Natural Order Liz Lemon: Hey Jack, do you treat me any differently because I'm a woman? Jack Donaghy: Well, I pay you a little less, yes.
	Season 3 / Episode 19: - The Ones Jack Donaghy: Being in a relationship means overlooking certain flaws. I mean, somewhere right now a guy is on a J-Date with Monica Lewinsky. Nobody's perfect.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: You can't give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires attacked Woodstox?
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: Wait, you're dating one of the dancers? Kenneth Parcell: Oh, no sir, I actually haven't spoken to her yet, but I have a long term plan to marry her and I wanted the company to be aware of my intentions. Jack Donaghy: I see. I'll be sure to mention that at the next board meeting. Kenneth Parcell: Thank you, sir. Also, I don't know if this is harassment, but someone at the Today Show made me eat an unripe banana in front of her.
	Season 3 / Episode 18: - Jackie Jormp-Jomp Jack Donaghy: I'm going to Tupac you. Jenna Maroney: OK, but I have to pee first.
	Season 3 / Episode 15: - The Bubble Jack Donaghy: I've arranged for one of Tracy's childhood idols to reach out to him. Tracy Jordan: Hello? Jack Donaghy: Tracy, this is Jack, I have someone here who wants to speak with you. Rick: Tracy, this is Bill Cosby... Liz Lemon: [whispering] Really? This is your strategy? Jack Donaghy: [whispering and smiling] I heard him do this at a party! Rick: ...I want you to come back to the TGS for the people who like the jokes and the things. Tracy Jordan: Bill Cosby, you got a lotta nerve gettin' on the phone wit' me after what you did to my Aunt Paulette! Rick: I think you're confusing me with someone else. Tracy Jordan: 1971. Cincinnati. She was a cocktail waitress with the droopy eye! Rick: I'm the guy... with the pudding... Tracy Jordan: Don't try to tell me what to do! Heathcliffe Huxtable, wit' yo' light-ass kids! Jack! Why would you make me talk to this man? Jack Donaghy: Tracy, wait! [ Deepens voice slightly. ] Tracy this is Billy Dee Williams, I just wanna say I love your work, it's very smooth... [Lemon groans and walks out]
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Funcooker Jack Donaghy: Lemon is right, Jenna, obviously you can't do both TGC and Jenny Jimplin. Jenna Maroney: I choose the movie. My face is bigger on movies. Jack Donaghy: No, I don't mean quit, I mean Liz will find a way to make both work. Am I right, Lemon? Liz Lemon: Well, I'll have to use you less in the show... Jack Donaghy: And I'll schale back the movie. We could cut the lesbian scene. Jenna Maroney: But the Oscars love that kind of scene. [Lemon gives her a look] There's two guys in my gym named Oscar.
	Season 3 / Episode 14: - The Funcooker Jack Donaghy: Unfortunately, legal just informed me that the name we settled on for our bite size microwave, the 'BiteNuker', is highly offensive to those who speak either French or Dutch. A Franco-Dutchman would pronounce it 'Bedneuker'. Sue: [speaking with an accent that sounds more Scandinavian than French or Dutch] Hey! That's awful! Jack Donaghy: I'm sorry, Miss LaRouge Van der Hoot.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Goodbye, My Friend Jack Donaghy: Now let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system. Frank Rossitano: My client has no memory of that. Jack Donaghy: I also would have accepted 'You can't prove that's the Governor's semen'.
	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Goodbye, My Friend Jack Donaghy: Lemon, there was once a great American named George Henderson. He met a woodland ape or sasquach and despite it's dangerous message of environmentalism became it's friend. When the time came to do the hard thing and send it back into the forest where it belonged, and birds could perch on it's shoulder because it was gentle, George Henderson summoned the strenght and by God, he did it. Did it hurt? You bet it hurt. Like a bastard. But he did it because it was the right thing to do... for the woodland ape. You think about that.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - St. Valentine's Day Jack Donaghy: I once claimed "I am God" during a deposition.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - St. Valentine's Day Elisa: You know what your problem is, Jack? You intellectualize everything with your big head! Jack Donaghy: Well, you have big boobs! Elisa: Which you'll never touch again! Jack Donaghy: [sotto voce] This conversation has taken an unfortunate turn.
	Season 3 / Episode 11: - St. Valentine's Day Jack Donaghy: Elisa is deeply religious. Liz Lemon: If I had those knockers, I'd be thanking God too.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Generalissimo Jack Donaghy: Oh Lemon, this is Elisa. Liz Lemon: What? Come on, you're a nurse? [shakes hands] Elisa: Yes, some of us are hot.
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Generalissimo Hector Moreda: We laugh alike. Jack Donaghy: We think alike. Hector Moreda: At times we even drink alike. Hector Moreda, Jack Donaghy: You could loose your mind. [they clink glasses]
	Season 3 / Episode 10: - Generalissimo Jack Donaghy: Look, you should know I'm doing this for a woman. [shows him a picture on his cellphone] This woman. Hector Moreda: [takes cellphone] Wow... I am super gay and I would totally switch for her.
	Season 3 / Episode 8: - Flu Shot Jack Donaghy: Come on, Lemmon. What do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Reunion Jessica Speyer: [Jack has been mistaken for Larry Braverman and goes with the flow] I hate the way we ended, Larry. I am so, so sorry for what happened. Jack Donaghy: Well, I forgive you... [glances at her nametag]... Jessica. Jessica Speyer: Really? Even for... Jack Donaghy: Especially for that. Jessica Speyer: Say what you said to me that night at the lake. Jack Donaghy: [reaches over to touch her face] No.
	Season 3 / Episode 5: - Reunion Jack Donaghy: We all know that Liz Lemon has her faults, but no one's perfect. I mean, I'm certainly not perfect. Keith: [objections from the people in the audience] Don't say that Braverman! Rob Sussman: You're more than perfect.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Gavin Volure Jack Donaghy: I can't believe you're out of the game. It's like Picasso not painting, or Bruce Willis not combining action and rock harmonica.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Gavin Volure Jack Donaghy: You go to that house and work it like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Gavin Volure Jack Donaghy: Kenneth, just how much money do you have in your savings? Kenneth Parcell: Well, let's see! Kenneth Parcell: Eighty thousand dollars! Jack Donaghy: If you don't include Confederate money. Kenneth Parcell: Four thousand dollars!
	Season 3 / Episode 3: - The One with the Cast of 'Night Court' Jack Donaghy: I need your help, We were having sex at The Palace, she told me she loved me. Liz Lemon: You did it, again? Jack Donaghy: Well it was quick and in the meat locker, that's ok, right? Liz Lemon: What is it with you men, you're like you are junkies or something. Why can't you just say no? Jack Donaghy: Lemon, let me explain something to you that you could have no way of knowing. Emotionally unstable women are fantastic in the sack, I mean their self-loathing translates into... nevermind. I've got to get out of this. What do other guys do? Liz Lemon: Well, one guy died, Scotty Pippen requested a transfer to Houston. Jack Donaghy: Jack Donaghy: Houston is too humid, what about this dying thing? Liz Lemon: Where is she now? Jack Donaghy: Chained to the radiator at her hotel room. It was her idea, she's an amazing woman.
	Season 3 / Episode 2: - Believe in the Stars Jack Donaghy: Lemon, does Kenneth look up to you? Liz Lemon: Of course he does. Kenneth looks up to everybody. He even calls Tracy's lizard Sir.

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