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Frank Rossitano + Add to My Characters

Played by:   Judah Friedlander

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Frank Rossitano Quotes

	Season 3 / Episode 13: - Goodbye, My Friend Jack Donaghy: Now let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system. Frank Rossitano: My client has no memory of that. Jack Donaghy: I also would have accepted 'You can't prove that's the Governor's semen'.
	Season 3 / Episode 4: - Gavin Volure Frank Rossitano: Attention, everyone. I have just been handed a memo that each floor has to have a fire marshall, in case of fires, terrorist attacks, Cloverfield monsters... but I can't because my head is too big for my helmet. So, who wants to volunteer? Pete Hornberger: Not me. But you have a big head.
	Season 2 / Episode 13: - Succession Tracy Jordan: My genius will not be denied. I'm like Mozart. and you're like that guy who was always jealous of Mozart. Frank Rossitano: Salieri? Tracy Jordan: No thank you. I already ate.
	Season 2 / Episode 12: - Subway Hero Frank Rossitano: Wow. I never would have had the guts to do what that dude did. Liz Lemon: You don't know that. Frank Rossitano: I do know. I've watched seven different people die in subway stations.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Corporate Crush Frank Rossitano: I don't like it when Liz is happy. It makes me uncomfortable, like when my mother drank margaritas and played Tanya Tucker songs.
	Season 1 / Episode 19: - Corporate Crush Frank Rossitano: Yo Tray, we got a problem. President Thomas Jefferson: [refusing to break character] Pray, who be this Tracy Jordon thou speakest off? Frank Rossitano: Eh, President Jefferson, we got a problem. President Thomas Jefferson: Speakest. Frank Rossitano: That horse ate your wig. President Thomas Jefferson: Well, stand guard by his rump and await it in his droppings.
	Season 1 / Episode 15: - Hard Ball (a.k.a. Negotiation) Frank Rossitano: These are the sexiest women in comedy? Where's Jackée?
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - The "C" Word Liz Lemon: We need to fire Lutz. Pete Hornberger: What? Why? What happened? Liz Lemon: He called me the worst name ever. Frank Rossitano: What did he call you? Liz Lemon: I'm not gonna repeat it. That's how much I hate it. Pete Hornberger: Fat can? Liz Lemon: No. Frank Rossitano: Mouth hooker? Liz Lemon: No. Frank Rossitano: Monster bitch. Pete Hornberger: Hatchet face. Liz Lemon: No!
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - The "C" Word Pete Hornberger: Well, you know, he was probably just blowing off steam. You can't fire a guy for cursing. Liz Lemon: No, I - I'm not upset by cursing. I *love* cursing. I love it! But this word is not acceptable - no - because there's nothing you can call a guy back. There is no male equivalent to this word. Pete Hornberger: Well, why don't we come up with one, and then you can call him that? Like, um, "muncus." Frank Rossitano: "Fungdark."
	Season 1 / Episode 14: - The "C" Word Liz Lemon: The one that rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album. Frank Rossitano: It rhymes with "Hermit of Mink Hollow"? Liz Lemon: No! Pete Hornberger: Oh! Oh, boy.
	Season 1 / Episode 13: - Up All Night Toofer: Okay, I got a hard one: Osama bin Laden, Martha Stewart, Jenna. Frank Rossitano: Bone Osama bin Laden, to shame him, and then his own people would murder him. Marry Martha Stuart, 'cause, you know, she seems like a dirty bird, and kill Jenna. Josh Girard: Cerie, marry, boff, kill: Lutz, Toofer or Kenneth. Cerie: I'd marry Toofer, because he's classy. I'd kill Lutz, sorry Lutz. Lutz: The thought that you'd do anything to me is awesome. Cerie: And I'd boff Kenneth.

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