#1 Yelena: Xander? Remember what I told you before, when you kissed me? Xander Cage: Never again? Yelena: I lied.
#2 [after a police SWAT team crashes in on his party] Xander Cage: Okay, I'll turn down the music.
#3 Xander Cage: I bet that flag is a real comfort every time you look in the mirror. Gibbons: A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country.
#4 Xander Cage: The things I'm gonna do for my country.
#5 Xander Cage: What is this place? Gibbons: Looks like a diner. Xander Cage: That's clever. You know, you almost had me going there for a while. I was a bit groggy before, then I started noticing things. Like, you got a stockbroker over here, all dressed up reading the Financial Times on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but okay, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop-issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it?
[points at waitress] Xander Cage: With her. My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way in hell a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I knew this bozo over here wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited till St. Patrick's Day.
[fires shotgun at wall] Xander Cage: Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offense, but their performances were terrible.
#6 [after kissing Xander Cage] Yelena: Did you enjoy that? Xander Cage: Yes. Yelena: Good, because it will never happen again.
#7 Yorgi: There is an old punk song, it says America stands for freedom... Xander Cage: But if you think you're free try walking into a deli... Yorgi, Xander Cage: And urinating on the cheese!
#8 Gibbons: You ever watch lions at the zoo? You can always tell which ones were captured in the wild by the look in their eyes. The wild cat. She remembers running across the plain, the thrill of the hunt. Four hundred pounds of killing fury, locked in a box. But after a while, their eyes start to glaze over, and you can tell their soul has died. The same thing happens to a man. Leavenworth Federal Penetentiary is no joke. They'll take a wild man like you and throw him in solitary just for the fun of it. No more mountains to board, no more oceans to surf. Just a 6-by-8 cell with no window and only a bucket to shit in. You can avoid all of that by doing me this small favor. Xander Cage: You don't have shit on me. Gibbons: I noticed you have three X's tattooed on the back of your neck. I think that's rather appropriate, since you're looking at three strikes. Grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, and that little bridge stunt of yours makes you a three-time loser. Maybe you ought to call yourself "Triple X." But if you do what I want, I'll make all your little recent criminal transgressions go away and let you get back to that pathetic excuse of a life.
#9 Xander Cage: Yo. What's your name, slick? Ivan Podrov: My name is Ivan. Xander Cage: Ivan? What's your name, buddy? Ivan Pedgrag: [looks back at Xander] My name is Ivan. Xander Cage: [looking confused] You're both Ivan?
#10 Xander Cage: Shaken... and stirred.
#11 Toby Lee Shavers: How long have you been with the agency? Xander Cage: Two days. Toby Lee Shavers: You're shitting me. No way. Man, that sucks. Xander Cage: Yeah, it sucks, but it beats jail. Toby Lee Shavers: No, it sucks because I spent six years in the basement of some windowless, NSA, gadget freak room, man. And I got a degree. I got a degree from MIT. Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude. And I bet they probably picked you up, what, pumping iron in San Quentin? Xander Cage: You ever get punched in the face for talking too much?
#12 Xander Cage: [to Yorgi] Yeah. Cars, boards, bikes. I like anything fast enough to do something stupid in.
#13 Xander Cage: [after the party is raided, presumably by NSA] Okay, Okay, I'll turn down the music.
#14 Xander Cage: Koyla, Yorgi's younger brother, happens to be an action sports fanatic. So naturally, he's a fan. But, when you kill a bottle of Vodka in three swigs, and you're gonna talk too much.
#15 Xander Cage: Is this guy gonna hump my leg or what?
#16 Xander Cage: You're in the Xander Zone.
#17 Xander Cage: You have a bazooka. Why don't you blow some shit up? Stop thinking Prague police and start thinking PlayStation. Ivan Podrov: Is not bazooka. Is heat-seeking rocket. Xander Cage: Heat-seeking rocket? The son-of-a-bitch is smoking.
[to Ivan] Xander Cage: Set it!
[fires bazooka, kills Kirril] Xander Cage: I told him that cigarette would kill him one day.
#18 [after Xander shoots Milan Sova] Yorgi: Most people talk a lot, few are up for the moment. Welcome to Anarchy Ninety-nine.
#19 [Yorgi is getting away on a motorboat. Xander shoots at him, but misses] Yorgi: Learn how to shoot, you piece of shit!
[Xander shoots at Yorgi, this time hitting and killing him]
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