Weekend at Bernie's II

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Weekend at Bernie's II Quotes

#1
Charles: [both have just seen Bernie fall back flat, dead after turning the music off] Ain't this a bitch!
Henry: Dead!
Charles: As a doornail!
Charles: Come on, let's get him!
#2
Larry Wilson: I was not the one who was out CONGA-DANCING all night, huh!
#3
Larry Wilson: Swim with the fishes, you zombie bastard!
#4
[Watching Charles and Henry stealing Bernie]
Richard Parker: What kind of idiots would steal a dead body?
Larry Wilson: We did!
#5
Charles: [Charles and Henry have been turned into goats and are being led on rope leashes by the dead zombie, Bernie] Ain't this a bitch?
Henry: Where's he taking us?
Charles: I don't know. Well, at least we get to see the carnival.
Henry: Yeah, but I didn't think we was gonna *be*, the carnival.
#6
Larry Wilson: [Larry pulls Richard from the sea water and helps lay him on the sand] . Richie breathe. [Richard awakens and spits water in Larry's face] Richie you spit on me!
Richard Parker: [dazed] I feel so much better.
#7
Richard Parker: [after finding Bernie with a girl on the beach] I see... And where did you and Bernie meet?
Brenda: In the conga-line.
Richard Parker: In the conga-line?
Brenda: He's an excellent dancer.
#8
Claudia's Dad: [examining the unconscious Mobu after being struck by the flailing limbs of Bernie] She suffered a concussion. She'll be out for hours.
Richard Parker: Oh. I'm dead. The sun is setting. Just let me lay down and throw some dirt on me.
Larry Wilson: Wait! She can't be out! We brought the money to her! She's gotta help Richie and remove the curse!
Claudia's Dad: She can't do anything like this.
Larry Wilson: Oh. Claudia! Weren't you telling me that there was a way to reverse a curse put on one person by switching the curse to a different person so that the curse was not on the one person but back on the original person?
Claudia: It's possible, but you have to believe in the magic for it to work.
Larry Wilson: In a hypethetical sense, right?
Claudia: Stop joking!
Larry Wilson: [motions to Richard slumped against the house] Look at him! He's dying over here, already! I believe!
Richard Parker: I believe. I believe.
Claudia: Poppa, you can do that kind of magic. I've seen you do it before.
Claudia's Dad: It's possible. But, I need the blood of a virgin.
Claudia: Um...
Richard Parker: Oh. Goodbye.
Claudia's Dad: [Larry puts his hand to his chin, walks around behind Claudia's dad, and with his back to him in embaressment, holds out his finger. Claudia's dad looks at Larry's finger, then up to Larry] You?
Larry Wilson: [Not making eye contact with the Doctor] Just take the blood, Doc. [the doctor pricks Larry's finger, Larry faints]
#9
Richard Parker: Why would you need to guard a dead man stuck in a two foot refrigerator?
#10
[Charles is searching the porn theater for the escaped chicken, and comes across a movie patron with a chicken in his lap and tries to take it]
Movie Patron: What are you doing?
Charles: Oh, I lost the chicken.
Movie Patron: No, no, no. This chicken's with me.
#11
Richard Parker: Stealing shoes off a dead man. Oh, we're going to hell.
#12
Richard Parker: [in the morgue, panicked] Lar. Lar. Lar. Lar. La... L...
Larry Wilson: What?
Richard Parker: I'm gonna have a heartattack now, I think I'm gonna sit down thanks...