The Invention of Lying

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The Invention of Lying Quotes

#1
Anna McDoogles: [with an epiphany] I've finally decided what I want!
Mark Bellison: [expecting the worst] And what is that?
Anna McDoogles: I want short fat kids with snub noses! [Mark smiles; they kiss]
#2
Anna's Mother: Man In The Sky forbid!
#3
Richard Bellison: [surprised by the homeowner during a burglary] What are you doing here? It's Monday at noon. You're not supposed to be home now!
Man at the Door: If you must know, I'm incredibly stressed at work, I've come home early, I'm having a bit of me-time. More importantly, what are you doing?
Richard Bellison: Well, I was gonna rob your house.
Man at the Door: I don't like that idea. Not a fan of that at all.
Richard Bellison: I'm not gonna do it now, because you're in.
Man at the Door: Do you know what's gonna happen? I'm gonna call the police, you're gonna be arrested.
Richard Bellison: Well, I'm just gonna leave, and you don't know my name.
Man at the Door: What is your name?
Richard Bellison: Richard Bellison.
#4
Talking Head Woman: Wow, I just took one of the biggest poops of my whole life. What are you ordering?
#5
Mark Bellison: [calling Anna] Hi, this is Mark.
Anna McDoogles: Oh, hi Mark. Didn't you get my email?
Mark Bellison: The one about being not good enough for you?
Anna McDoogles: That's the one.
Mark Bellison: Yeah, got that. Cheers.
#6
Brad Kessler: [to Anna's mom] Ok, you're annoying me. Your voice is shrill. Goodbye.
#7
Anna McDoogles: You're smart. You're kind. You're the sweetest man I've ever met. You are... You are definitely the most-interesting person I know. And you are fun to be with. And you see the world in a way that nobody else sees the world, and I like the way you see the world. You're my best friend. You make me happier than anyone I've ever known. And I love you.
#8
Mark Bellison: I did a bad thing...
Anna McDoogles: It's ok you get three!
#9
Anna's Mother: Just because he's talking to the man in the sky doesn't mean he's good enough to be your friend.
#10
Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.
Mark Bellison: That... makes me think of your vagina
#11
Brad Kessler: We both know that one day you're going to lose your looks.