The Hour of the Pig

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The Hour of the Pig Quotes

#1
Richard Courtois: There must be priests in Hell.
Albertius: Can't move for them.
#2
Richard Courtois: [of the priest's privately-expressed skepticism about witchcraft] Would you say all that in court?
Albertius: Richard, I like it here; it's a very nice living. Having my balls burnt off in public might take some of the pleasure out of it.
#3
Richard Courtois: You're a melancholy fellow, Mathieu. Get yourself smartened up and we'll go to a brothel.
Mathieu: Brothel?
Richard Courtois: Well, there won't be one in this piss-arse town, but there'll be one in L'Avignon.
Mathieu: Maitre, this is the brothel.
Richard Courtois: What?
Mathieu: The Abville Inn is the Abville Whorehouse.
Richard Courtois: [incredulous] What, that skinny girl? I never gave her a sous!
Mathieu: They put it down as the "lodging tax."
#4
Pincheon: But it's Pearls to Swine! That's what they are, these peasant folk. Salt of the Earth... Scum of the Earth. I am the future of Maitre Courtois! Don't grow old and tired in a place like this.
#5
Albertius: In a world where nothing is truly reasonable, nothing is truly mad.
#6
Albertius: ...why, I myself saw the Bishop of Rheims pronounce the act of anathema against a swarm of locusts.
Richard Courtois: Really? How did they take it?
Albertius: Difficult to say with locusts.
#7
[Richard is nude and embarrassed]
Maria: Don't worry, I have brothers.
#8
Maria: [cheerfully taking advantage of a hotel guest's morning hard-on] Waste not, want not!