Mr. & Mrs. Smith
John Smith: Web of lies!
Jane Smith: I was never in the peace corps.
Girls walking by House: What's going on, Mrs. Smith?
Jane Smith: Garden party, girls.
John Smith: You looked like Christmas morning.
John Smith: [at marriage counseling] Ask us the sex question.
Jane Smith: [whispers] John.
John Smith: [softly with his fingers out for ten] Ten.
John Smith: Sweet Jesus! Mother of God!
Jane Smith: Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
John Smith: [after having accidentally shot at his wife, Mr. Smith is on the roof of her car while she's trying to throw him off] Come on, let's talk about this! You don't want to go to bed angry!
John Smith: Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!
Julie - Associate #1: [Jane Smith looks at Julie, shocked, after Julie detonates the explosive in the elevator John is in] [casually] What? You said goodbye.
Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?
John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop
Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.
John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!
Eddie: OK. Laptop.
John Smith: Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?
Jane Smith: No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.
Jane Smith: To dodging bullets.
John Smith: Let's see if we can't get a tune out of this trombone.
Jane Smith: [referring to the pursuing cars] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: [having not heard and shot at the cars] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: It's called evasive driving, sweetheart!
Eddie: Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
John Smith: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
Jane Smith: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?
Jane Smith: 8.
John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...
Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.
John Smith: Ok. Ready?
Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.
Mickey - Dive Bar Patron #1: Oh, he's pulled something!