Men with Brooms
Gordon Cutter: Where did you graduate from? Saddam Hussein school of physiotherapy.
James Lennox: How do you forget about 400 pounds of defecating menace?
Chris Cutter: [bemoaning the demise of a local hardware store]:That hardware store was unique.
Amy Foley: So was my husband. I'm still glad they came up with vibrators.
James Lennox: I'm a drug dealer.
Neil Bucyk: I bury dead people.
Eddie Strombeck: I have a single digit sperm count.
Chris Cutter: And I'm a naked cheater. I say we go for it. Are you with me? Let's do it.
James Lennox: This is not my problem. This is most definitely your problem.
Eddie Strombeck: His problem?
James Lennox: Sure. Hey man, all I did was cut his bulk mescaline for street sale and neglect to pay him. Chris, on the other hand, crushed his head with a curling rock.
Chris Cutter: No, it's not just a rock.
Amy Foley: No?
Chris Cutter: It's forty-two pounds of polished granite, bevelled on the belly and a handle a human being can hold. And it may have no practical purpose in itself but it is a repository of human possibility and if it's handled just right, it will exact the kind of poetry...
Chris Cutter: You got her drunk? Goddamn it, Jim, she's A.A. What else did you do to her.
James Lennox: Hey man, I resent that implication. Even if I wanted to take advantage of the young lady, I do have some principles. You gottta be conscious, for one thing.
James Lennox: I feel a general sense of dread.
Gordon Cutter: You want an easy ride? Go play a bonspiel for the gutless. You want the Golden Broom, then find your spine.
Chris Cutter: For ten years, I've drilled for oil in 93 coutnries, five different continents, and not once have I done anything to equal the grace of a well thrown rock sliding down a sheet. Not once.
Alexander "The Juggernaut" Yount: I've played on a lot of ice, all over this planet we call home, but I don't believe I've seen a better shot. It's been a pleasure.
James Lennox: "On this planet we call home?"
Chris Cutter: Hey, whatever.
Julie Foley: Look, this isn't about me and him or you and him. This is about me and you.
Amy Foley: I have no claim on him.
Chris Cutter: A giant walked the fucking earth, now he's in the trunk of my car.
Amy Foley: [at her Alcoholics Anonymous meeting]The point is lately, I've been feeling like I need a "touch me up" cause I just don't know which way to turn.
Slimy guy at meeting: Hey, you can turn to me anytime you want.
Amy Foley: Thank you. That's sweet but I'd rather shit in my mouth.
Chris Cutter: [Lennox's head gets pushed through the wall] Lovers quarrel?
James Lennox: [Being pulled back through the wall] No, business dispute.
James Lennox: What you gotta understand something about these guys. To them, money is more or less, uh, a hobby. Violence on the other hand is their real vocation.
Eddie Strombeck: It's not the size of the army, it's the fury of its onslaught.
James Lennox: She's a rent-a-girlfriend.
Chris Cutter: Good God! Listen to yourself. Are you some kind of moral dyslexic.
James Lennox: I think you got that backwards, baby.
Chris Cutter: She's okay, she's just tired.
Brandon Foley: It's nice that you're lying to me but we both know she's shitface.
Chris Cutter: Yeah, you'll take care of her?
Brandon Foley: Got to, she's the only mom I've got.
Joanne: [discussing curling] Okay. Like shuttleboard.
James Lennox: It's shufflebaord and no. You gotta think like snooker, poker, and free-rock climbing. This is dangerous shit.