Highway: Get in there. Tell them who you are, so no friendlies get hurt.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hello happening hostages! I'm Stitch Jones, Mr. Funkadelic!
Highway: Try "U.S. Marine", shithead...
Swede Johanson: Gunny, I'm afraid of heights.
Highway: So am I.
Swede Johanson: You are?
Highway: Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft is not a natural act. So let's do it right, enjoy the view. Come on.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Your DD 1348 forms are not filled out correctly.
Choozoo: Yes, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: We're going to approach this exercise in an orderly proficiant manner, Sergeant Major. I want each round of ammunition counted and returned in the exact condition in which it was received.
Choozoo: I'll personally dot the I's and cross the T's, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sloppiness breeds inefficiency. [Ring and Highway approach] Your outfit looks like it could use some cleaning up, Gunny.
Highway: Sir, I'd like to issued my squad leader a set of night vision goggles.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Darn, I should have thought of that.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: That is not part of your TO&E.
Highway: But, sir, I...
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Fill out the proper request forms and send it through the chain of command!
Highway: Request forms!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [Colonel gets out of car] Atten-shun! Major Malcom Powers, sir. Annapolis class of '71.
Colonel Meyers: How are men doing, Major?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: My men are ready to fight to the death to defend our country, sir.
Colonel Meyers: Well, let's hope that won't be necessary. [Looks at Highway] Have we ever served together?
Highway: I don't know, sir. Sergeant Major Choozoo and I were in the 2nd Battalion and 7th in '68.
Colonel Meyers: I had a rifle company in the 1st Battalion and 7th in '68.
Highway: Well, we sure as hell chewed some of the same dirt, sir.
Colonel Meyers: That's for sure. What's your assessment of this exercise?
Highway: It's a cluster fuck.
Colonel Meyers: Say again?
Highway: Marines are fighting men, sir. They shouldn't be sitting around on their sorry asses filling out request forms for equipment they should already have.
Colonel Meyers: Interesting observation. Carry on, Major.
PA Announcer: Now hear this. Now hear this.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: This is it. We're going to war.
Highway: Drop your cocks and grab your socks! Off your ass and on your feet. Let's move. Knees to the breeze in 5 minutes.
Profile: It's Goddam 5 o'clock. You said six!
Highway: So I lied. So I can't tell time. So maybe some communist bastard's going to make an appointment pop you a new asshole in your forehead. You're Marines now. You adapt. You overcome. You improvise. Let's move. Four minutes!
Highway: [in the head] We move swift. We move silent. We move deadly. Only one shake of those wangs ladies. Anymore than that consitutes pleasure and we're not in that business. Sleep well, Mr. Jones?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: This is a nightmare. A freakin' nightmare. Wake me up, Mama, please!
Marine: [outside the barracks] The platoon is formed for PT, Gunny.
Highway: Take your post. The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfortunately you ain't it. We will blaze a path into battle for others to follow. Surrender is not in our creed. Let me here you say that.
Lance Corporal Fragatti, Aponte, Profile, Quinones, Collins, Marine, Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [mumbling] Surrender is not in our creed.
Highway: Louder or the next time you leave this base for R&R you'll be collecting your pensions.
Lance Corporal Fragatti, Aponte, Profile, Quinones, Collins, Marine: Surrender is not in our creed!
Lance Corporal Fragatti, Aponte, Profile, Quinones, Collins, Marine, Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: SURRENDER IS NOT IN OUR CREED!
Highway: Oo-rah. Strip off those t-shirts.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Huh?
Highway: You'll all wear the same t-shirt or not at all. [Platoon takes off shirts. Highway approaches Fragatti] What's your name, Marine?
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Lance Corporal Fragatti, Gunny.
Highway: [takes off Fragatti's sunglasses and steps on them] Well, you shouldn't litter Fag-eddi. It's ecologically unsound. [moves down the line] What's your name?
Highway: Alright, Colitis, Cahones, Profilatics, Ajax. You boys are handsome. You ladies look like models. In fact I want your hair high and tight by tomorrow morning. When you start looking like Marines you'll start feeling like Marines and then, Goddamn it, you'll start acting like Marines. Platoon, ten-hut! Right face! Forward march!
Highway: Why don't I bend you over the table there... send you home with the "I just pumped the neighbor's cat" look on your face.
Jail Binger: I don't like soldier boys.
Highway: Say what?
Jail Binger: If you wanna pop that puppy's can you don't have to grease him so hard, jarhead.
Highway: Well, it sounds like you're a man of experience.
Jail Binger: What the hell's that supposed to mean, grunge shit.
Highway: It means: Be advised. I'm mean, nasty and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round in a flea's ass at 200 meters. So why don't you go hump somebody else's leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.
Jail Binger: Ain't gonna be so smart with your balls stuffed in your mouth, jarhead!
Highway: [hands cigar to the young man] Hang on to this, boy. I think war's just been declared.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Prisoners secured sir!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you, Lance Corproal. CORPORAL Jones.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [Jones moves forward] Sir!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Move'em out.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: [removing a staple from a bundle of reports] Gunny, did you know that I was Platoon Leader in my ROTC class in college?
Highway: I'll sleep a lot better at night knowing that, sir.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you. [pokes finger with staple] Ow! What school did you go to?
Highway: Heartbreak Ridge.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Hmmm. I've never heard of that school.
Highway: My name's Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together. Now Major Powers has put me in charge of this reconisence platoon.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: We take care of ourselves.
Highway: You couldn't take care of a wet dream. God loves you.
Collins: I know that!
Highway: You men do not impress me!
Profile: Recon platoon kicks butt.
Highway: [grabs Profile by the nose] If you ladies think that you can slip and slide just because your last sergeant was a pussy, well queer bait, you're going to start acting like Marines right now!
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Who invited ya!
Highway: I'm not doing this because I want to take long showers with you assholes and I don't want to get my head shot off in some far away land because you don't habla, comprende?
Quinones: Yes, Gunney.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [singing] And you really look so fine and you've got that big behind.
Highway: [sees Jones] Well, well, well, well. I'm here to tell you that life as you knew it has ended. You all may as well go into town tonight. You may as well laugh and make fools out of yourselves. Rub your pathetic little peckers against your honies or stick it in a knothole in the fence but whatever it is, get rid of it. Because at 0600 tomorrow your ass is mine. [to Jones] Where's your bunk.
Highway: [walking toward the barracks holding Jones by the ear] Where is it?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Where's what, man?
Highway: The money for my ticket.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, no need to resort to unnecessary violence. I was a little down on the money, you know, but I got a little money for you right here. But that's all I got. [hands Highway some cash]
Highway: And the meal.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: The meal.
Highway: Yeah, the meal.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Ok, I got a little more for you here but that's definitely all I got.
Highway: And the tip.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: No, man, that's really it that's all I got.
Highway: You owe me. [rips Jones' earring off] Now it's my will against yours and you will lose. So don't forget, 0600. That's six o'clock in the morning for those of you who don't habla.
Major G.F. Devin: At ease. That'll be all Sergeant Major.
Sergeant Major in Court: Aye, aye, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: Oh, for Christ sake Highway, relax. Stop being so damn gung ho.
Highway: That's what I am, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: What do you got about 24 in now Highway?
Highway: And then some, sir.
Major G.F. Devin: You know, some men in your position might look forward to retirement. Maybe think about taking the wife on an around the world cruise. But that's not your way, is it? No. Instead you choose to harrang my staff with a request for transfer to a fleet marine force unit. In fact the very unit you got busted out of some time ago for insubordination. Conduct unbecoming.
Highway: [woman marine enters office] That's true, major, I have had my differences with some limp dicks.
Major G.F. Devin: Highway!
Major G.F. Devin: You know, I truly don't know whether to admire ya or resent the living hell out of of ya. Well, I guess it doesn't matter either way because you are out of here effective immediately.
Highway: Where to, sir?
Major G.F. Devin: 2nd Recon Battalion. 2nd Marine Division. You're goin' home.
Highway: Yes, sir!
[Turns to leave]
Major G.F. Devin: Gunny Highway.
Major G.F. Devin: Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [after Profile fell down, Highway speaks to him, then Profile runs off] What did you say to him?
Highway: I said "Don't give the prick the satisfaction," sir!
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [singing] "I met her on a Monday. She was the best. Come Sunday mornin', I needed rest. She didn't shave. She didn't use Neet. She tried to use my face like a bicycle seat."
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: [while under heavy fire] I wish I was back in New Jersey, man, watching the Flintstones!
Judge Zane: Thank you for your testimony, Officer Reese. Sergeant Highway, drunk and disorderly. Fighting in a public establishment. Urinating on a police vehicle?
Highway: Well, it seemed like the thing to do, sir.
Judge Zane: Just because there's no war going on does not give you the right to start one every time you get drunk. Now I'm taking into account your excellent military record and your commitment to the security of this great nation. But this is your last chance. One hundred dollar fine. Next!
Highway: [as he's leaving the courtroom] Your nightstick file for divorce, Reese?
Reese: [outside the courtroom] Who the hell do you think you are? Pissin' on my squad car. You think you can break our rules and then just walk away? Or are we supposed to wet our pants over your dress blues and your Goddamn colored ribbons. Take a look at that file of yours sometime, hero. Check the dates. It's ancient fucking history. You know, one of these Saturday nights you're going to be puking blood in some alley and you're going to look up and see me standing there. Then we'll see.
Highway: Keep dreaming, shit ball.
Reese: You're gonna pay full price rummy. I don't believe in no serviceman's discounts.
Highway: Too bad, your old lady does.
Sergeant Webster: Highway, I heard you was back.
Sergeant Webster: These retards couldn't fight their way out of a shit house.
Highway: That where you been keeping yourself lately?
Highway: Major Powers and me are building an elite company of fightin' men.
Highway: Webster, the only thing you could build is a good case of hemmorhoids. [taps Fragatti on the head]
Lance Corporal Fragatti: What? What?
Highway: Well, you're blowing away all of your ammunition, Fag-eddy. Miss I ain't America's gonna make Swiss cheese out of you.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: It's not my fuckin' fault, man. The fuckin' weapon's fuckin' fucked up.
Highway: [takes rifle and fires at target] There's nothing wrong with that rifle. Keep it tight. [moves down to Jones] You wake up this morning with a piss pot on your head?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Uh, no, Gunny, I wore this in your honor.
Highway: Is that right?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yeah, you know, Sands of Iwo Jima, Pork Chop Hill, Kason, all that old antique shit. Sort of a tribute to an aging veteran close to retirement such as yourself.
Highway: Well, I'm touched.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yeah, you know, sort of a recon way of saying welcome and ineveitably, goodbye.
Highway: And the kevlar helmet you were issued, that didn't by chance find it's way into one of the local pawn shops in town now did it?
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Hey, hey, yo, that's a serious implication, Gunny. You know, we're financially responsible for these bad boys.
Highway: That's right, you are, that's why I want to see kevlar on your head by 1900 hours or you won't have a head to put it on.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Yes, sir, Gunny Highway Sergeant, sir!
Profile: Hey, Gunny. My weapon's jammed! [stands and the rifle goes off]
Sergeant Webster: [as the platoon is marching back] Major Powers' gonna teach you how to discipline your men.
Highway: Webster, if Powers ever comes to a sudden stop your face is gonna go half way up his ass.
Lance Corporal Fragatti: Profile's never gonna make it back to the barracks.
Corporal 'Stitch' Jones: Powers is cold blooded, man.
Highway: [after Profile falls] Come on, Profile. You can make it. Don't give the prick the satisfaction.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: This man has usurped authority and ignored my personal directives for over a week. Why, Lieutenant?
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I thought the training exercise was...
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You think too much and act too little. You are supposed to be an officer. Now look that word up in your platoon leader's handbook.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Who gave you permission to deviate from the training schedule?
Highway: I needed to evaluate my men, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: They're not your men, you self-centered, egocentric, son-of-a-bitch! They're the United States Marine Corps men! The Second Division's men! The Eighth Marine Regiment's men! In other words, they're MY men and SO ARE YOU, GET IT?
Highway: The only thing I'll get is my head shot off if I go into a hot landing zone with a platoon that doesn't know it's job.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You will follow my training program to the letter. No questions asked.
Highway: You go into combat tomorrow and you'll plant half those men.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: You did it on your own, didn't you?
Highway: I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Well, you make it easy.
[pick up the phone]
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I gave the Gunny permission to freelance his, I mean, the men, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [slams down the phone] Wait outside, Ring.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I'm going to run you out of the corps, Highway. And you know what's funny? You're going to do all the work. Sooner or later you'll disregard procedure, disobey an order, or just get drunk. You can't help it. You're too old, too prideful, too stupid to change. I'm going to enjoy seeing you fall, Highway. Now get out and send in that idiot, Ring.
Highway: [leaves office and speaks to Lt Ring] He wants to see you, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sorry.
Highway: No reason to be. Lieutenant? Recon!
Highway: Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.
Swede Johanson: I'm gonna rip yer head off and shit down yer neck.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: [approaching Highway] Just what the hell do you think you're doing?
Highway: Just enjoying the view, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Well, you disobeyed an order. I told you to stay in contact and not take this hill without me. Damn it! Get on your feet, Highway!
Highway: With all due respect, sir, you're beginning to bore the hell out of me.
[sees the helicopter landing and Colonel Meyers getting out]
Colonel Meyers: Who's in charge here?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I am, sir. Major Malcolm Powers.
Colonel Meyers: Did you lead this assault?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sir, Leutenant Ring and Gunnery Sergeant Highway disobeyed a direct order. I told them to wait for support but they went up this hill anyway.
Colonel Meyers: [to Highway] Why?
Highway: We're Marines, sir. We're paid to adapt, to improvise.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Sir, I gave the order to take this hill.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Ring, this is going to ruin your career.
Colonel Meyers: Are you new to the infantry, Major?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir. Just came over from supply.
Colonel Meyers: Were you good at that?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Yes, sir!
Colonel Meyers: Well then, stick to it because you're a walking cluster fuck as an infantry officer. My men are hard chargers, Major! Leutenant Ring and Gunny Highway took a handfull of young fire pissers, exercised some personal initiative and kicked ass! [to Lt Ring] Good job, Leutenant!
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Thank you, sir!
Colonel Meyers: Leutenant, see to it that those students are escorted back to Cherry Point.
Lieutenant M.R. Ring: Yes, sir!
Colonel Meyers: [to Powers] Well, your dismissed! [Highway and Choozoo approach] What the hell are you two sorry assed individuals looking at? Get the hell off of my LZ.
Highway, Choozoo: Semper Fi!
Colonel Meyers: Oo-rah!
Highway: Well, Chooz, I guess we're not 0-1-1 anymore.
Marine: Just about cleaned you out. Sure makes you feel good, don't it, Gunny? Helping Uncle Sam battle dirty drawers.
Highway: You pump the neighbor's dog again, Jakes, or are you always slack eyed and silly in the afternoon.
Marine: Looks like you could use a little lift, Highway. Why don't you suck on one of these. Smooth as a prom queen's thigh only not quite as risky. Havana cured. Gotta pal over in Guantanamo in supply. We do each other favors. I've got lots of friends. Of course, I could always use another friend.
Highway: So that we can do each other favors?
Marine: Sure. See, if your pencil wasn't quite so sharp and your eyesight not quite so clear around here I could make your lot in the military life a lot more comfy. Not to mention down right rewardin'.
Highway: Sergeant, you get that contraband stogie out of my face before I shove it so far up your ass you'll have to set fire to your nose to light it.
USMC: Gunny Highway! Major Devin wants to see you ASAP.