Grindhouse

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Grindhouse Quotes

#1
'Thanksgiving' Announcer: White meat, dark meat. All will be carved. THANKSGIVING.
#2
Stuntman Mike: [after losing the girls] Yeah, yeah, Yeah! Jesus fucking christ... it's about time!
#3
J.T.: That boy's got the devil in him.
#4
Arlene: Who do you want to hear?
Jungle Julia: Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich.
Arlene: Who?
Jungle Julia: Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich.
Arlene: Who the fuck are they?
Jungle Julia: For your information, Pete Townsend, at one point, almost quit The Who. And if he had, he would have ended up in this group, thus making it Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich and Pete. And if you ask me, he should have.

[flips on the radio to hear "Hold Tight" by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich]
Jungle Julia: That's my boy!
#5
[as Wray is dying]
Cherry: [crying] No... you can't go. Two against the world, remember?
Wray: There will be, I promise
Wray: [touching her stomach] I never miss.
#6
The Rapist: I've seen me a lot of weird shit in my day, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. I seen me a stripper with one breast. And I seen me a stripper with twelve toes. I've even seen me a stripper with no brains at all, but I ain't never seen a one-legged stripper. And I've been to Morocco.
#7
Wray: That's my jacket. I looked for it for two weeks.
#8
Abby: You killed Bin Laden?
Lt. Muldoon: I put two in his heart, one in his computer.
Wray: So that was you.
#9
Cherry: It's go go, not cry cry.
#10
[as she beats Dakota's car with a shovel]
Babysitter Twin #2: We're gonna kill you!
#11
Lt. Muldoon: You want the story? I'll spin it for you quick.
#12
Cherry: Name's Cherry Darling...
Wray: Sounds like a stripper name
Cherry: No, it sounds like a go-go dancer name. There's a difference.
#13
[from Machete trailer]
Priest: I took a vow of peace. And now you want me to help you KILL these men?
Machete: Yes, bro... I mean Padre.
Priest: I'll see what I can do. [pumps shotguns]
#14
Lt. Muldoon: Get Lewis down here.
Soldier: He's getting his dick wet, sir.
Lt. Muldoon: Get him the fuck down here... NOW!
#15
Kim: Motherfucker try to rape me, I don't wanna give him a skin rash, I wanna shut that nigga down.
#16
Abernathy: I was wondering if my friends and I could take the car out on our own just to see if we feel comfortable in it.
Jasper: Why would I do something stupid like that?
Abernathy: To better sell your automobile.
Jasper: How do I know you're not just gonna steal it?
Abernathy: Four reasons. One: we are not thieves. Two: that would be rude. Three: we are staying at the Day's Inn in town, you can check with them, we are registered for the next month. Well, Zoe's not, but Kim and I are so we are totally track-downable.
Jasper: Who's Kim? The colored girl?
Abernathy: Yes, Kim would be the girl of color. And four, and most importantly, that will give you a chance to get to know our other friend, Lee.

[points out Lee]
Jasper: She looks kinda familiar
Abernathy: That is because she is a famous movie star. We are making a Hollywood movie here in town
Jasper: Why's she dressed like that?
Abernathy: Because it's a cheerleader movie and she's one of the cheerleaders.
Jasper: What's a cheerleader movie?
Abernathy: A movie about cheerleaders.
Jasper: Is it a porno?
Abernathy: [looks at Jasper] *Yes*! But don't mention it. She's shy.
#17
Pam: Hey Warren, is there anybody in this place you could vouch for to give me a ride home?
Stuntman Mike: [tosses keys across table in front of Pam] Fair lady, your chariot awaits.
Pam: You've been eavesdropping?
Stuntman Mike: [chuckles] Eavesdropping and can't help but hear, I think I belong in the latter category.
Pam: So, uh, "icy hot", you're offering me a ride home?
Stuntman Mike: I'm offerin' you a lift, if, when I'm ready to leave, you are too.
Pam: And when are you thinking about leaving?
Stuntman Mike: Truthfully, I'm not thinkin' about it. But when I do, you will be the first to know.
Pam: Will you be able to drive later?
Stuntman Mike: I know looks can be deceiving, but I'm a teetotaler. I've been drinking club soda and lime all night, and now I'm buildin up to my big drink.
Pam: Which is what?
Stuntman Mike: Virgin Pina Colada.
Pam: [pause] Okay. Why would someone who doesn't drink spend hours at a bar, drinking water?
Stuntman Mike: You know, a bar offers all kinds of things other than alcohol.
Pam: Hmm, really. Like what?
Stuntman Mike: [pause] Women. Nacho Grande platters. The fellowship of some fascinating individuals, like Warren here.
Pam: Fair enough. So what's your name, icy?
Stuntman Mike: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: [pause] "Stuntman Mike's" your name?
Stuntman Mike: You can ask anybody.
Pam: Hey Warren, who is this guy?
Warren: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
Warren: He's a stuntman.
#18
Abernathy: Hello sir! What's your name?
Jasper: Jasper.
Abernathy: Hello Jasper, I'm Abernathy.
Jasper: Aber- what?
Abernathy: Abernathy.
Jasper: But what's your first name?
Abernathy: That is my first name.
Jasper: What kind of first name is that?
Abernathy: You know what, why don't you just call me Abby.
Jasper: Okay.
#19
[repeated line]
Cherry: I was going to be a stand-up comedian.
#20
Kim: I'm the horniest motherfucker on the road!