Gru: I hate that guy.
Gru: I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works
Gru: Do you speak Spanish?
Miss Hattie: Do I look like someone who speaks Spanish?
Gru: It's just that your face is so... Como un burro.
Miss Hattie: Oh! Why, thank you!
Gru: [to the girls] You will not cry, or sneeze or barf or fart! No annoying sounds.
Agnes: Does this count as annoying?
[puckles her cheeks]
Vector: [after shrinking toilet] Look at you, a little tiny toilet...
[toilet breaks, spraying water on Vector]
Vector: Ah, curse you, tiny toilet!
Gru: We stole the Statue of Liberty...!
[the minions cheer]
Gru: ...the small one, from Las Vegas!
[the cheers stop]
Gru: Uh, question. What are these?
Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots. Boogie! Look at this! Watch me.
Gru: Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so... old?
Margo: You gave us back.
Gru: I know, I know, and it is the worst mistake I ever made.
Dr. Nefario: We have to warn him, and FAST! [starts driving on his moped at the speed of an inch a minute]
Gru: Your dog has been leaving bombs in my yard.
Fred McDade: Oh you know dogs... they go where they want!
Gru: Not if they're dead.
Gru: [to the girls] Did you brush your teeth? [Takes a whiff] You did *not*!
Edith: Hey, that one looks like me.
Gru: What are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental.
Agnes: I like him. He's nice.
Edith: He's scary.
Agnes: Like Santa.
Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon.
Gru's Mom: Eh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom, I made a prototype of a rocket out of macaroni.
Gru's Mom: Eh.
Young Gru: Look, Mom, I built a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype.
Gru's Mom: [holds her breath in amazement for a moment]... Eh.
Dr. Nefario: Here's the new weapon you ordered. [Shoots minion with the fart gun]
Gru: No, no, no. I said DART gun.
Dr. Nefario: Oh yes. Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this?
Gru: Bedtime now.
[girls groan in disappointment, followed by the minions]
Gru: Not you two.
Edith: It was your cousin's idea!
Dave the Minion: *What*?
Miss Hattie: I received a call that you want to return the girls. Also, I bought a Spanish dictionary.
[Hits Gru with dictionary]
Miss Hattie: I didn't like what you said.
Edith: Are these beds made from bombs?
Gru: Yes, but they are very old and are not likely to explode. But don't toss and turn.
Gru: [defeated by Vector] Oh, come on!