Gabriel: I will smite thee, in His honour.
[She throws a punch at Lucifer, but her fist stops short, to her surprise]
Satan: Looks like somebody doesn't have your back any more.
Angela Dodson: John, there is no seventeenth act in Corinthians.
John Constantine: Corinthians goes to twenty one acts in the Bible in Hell.
Angela Dodson: They have bibles in Hell?
John Constantine: Paints a different view of Revelations. Says the world will not end by God's hand, but be reborn in the embrace of the damned. Though if you ask me, fire's fire.
Midnite: [to John] I thought I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.
John Constantine: I need you to leave.
Angela Dodson: I'm sorry.
John Constantine: Angela, please.
Angela Dodson: Okay.
[heads for her room]
John Constantine: The apartment.
Angela Dodson: Okay. Be careful with that cat.
[cat meows and Angela begins to close the door]
John Constantine: God, I hate this part.
Satan: Sonny, I've got a whole theme park full of red delights for you.
John Constantine: Aren't you a peach?
Angela Dodson: Well, I thought that with your background, you could at least point me in the right direction?
John Constantine: Yeah, okay. Sure. [points to the door]
[after Constantine refuses to kill her]
Gabriel: [smiling] You could've shot me, John! You chose a higher path. Look how well you're doing!
[Constantine and Angela leave the hospital without looking back. Gabriel topples back into the pool]
Angela Dodson: Well, this has been real educational, but, I don't believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.
John Constantine: They have the Spear of Destiny.
Satan: [mocking him] "They have the Spear of Destiny!" [becomes serious, leans in] Or is it another one of your cons?
John Constantine: Go look for yourself. [Satan hesitates] You've waited twenty years for me, Lu. What's another twenty seconds?
John Constantine: Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee. Into the light, I command thee.
John Constantine: Close your eyes. And whatever happens, don't look.
John Constantine: [about God] He always had a rotten sense of humor. And His punchlines are killers.
John Constantine: Detective, what if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
Angela Dodson: I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
John Constantine: Humor me. No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule. Just influence. See who would win.
Angela Dodson: I need to understand.
John Constantine: You don't wanna know what's out there, trust me on this.
Chas Chandler: John, why would you do that if you know it's not my car?
John Constantine: I told you to move it.
Chas Chandler: Right, John, you did tell me to move it, but if you would have told me there was a three hundred pound mirror you were dropping with a pissed-off demon, I would have moved it further, John!
Satan: Hello, John. John, hello. You're the one soul I would come up here to collect myself. [claps giddily]
John Constantine: So I've heard.
Midnite: You know the rules of my house. While here you *will* abide by them.
John Constantine: You don't walk off the roof of a building, without leaving something behind.
Angela Dodson: I used to pretend that I didn't - that I didn't see things.
John Constantine: So, what's new?
Beeman: Bullet shavings from the assassination attempt on the Pope... Holy-water ampoules from the River Jordan... and - oh, you'll love this... Screech beetle from Amityville.
[He hands John a matchbox. John shakes it, and a tiny squeak comes out. He gives Beeman a look]
Beeman: Yeah, it's funny to you, but to the fallen, that's like nails on a chalkboard.
John Constantine: What is it, exactly, with you and bugs?
Beeman: I just like them.
John Constantine: Yeah. Who doesn't? [He picks up a tube]
Beeman: Yeah, easy there, hero. That's dragon's breath.
John Constantine: I thought you couldn't get it anymore.
Beeman: Yeah, well, I, uh, I know a guy who knows a guy. [John fires a blast of fire from the tube] So, uh, what's the action?
John Constantine: I just pulled a soldier demon out of a little girl. Looked like it was trying to come through. Yeah, I know how it sounds.
Beeman: No, we're finger puppets to them, John, not doorways. They can work us, but, they can't come through onto our plane.
John Constantine: Check the scrolls, anyway. See if there's any precedent.
Beeman: Sure thing, John. Uh, anything else?
John Constantine: Wouldn't happen to have anything for a, uh...
Beeman: [produces a bottle of cough syrup] On the house.