Camp Nowhere

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Camp Nowhere Quotes

#1
[the twins are arguing over what city to "bomb"]
Ashley, Twin: Minneapolis!
Amber, Twin: Milwaukee!
Ashley, Twin: Minneapolis!
Amber, Twin: Milwaukee!
Ashley, Twin: But Grandma lives in Milwaukee.
Ashley, Twin, Amber, Twin: [beat] Milwaukee!

[Milwaukee explodes]
#2
Dennis Van Welker: Do you know what the first rule of the theater is, Mud?
"Mud": No...
Dennis Van Welker: [shouts] Talk loud enough for people to hear you!
"Mud": OK... so...
"Mud": [shouts] Are you gonna help me?
Dennis Van Welker: Much better... No.
#3
Dennis Van Welker: You know, back in the '60s when we said we wanted to change society, maybe we should've been more specific.
#4
"Mud": Who's this?
Dennis Van Welker: Winston Churchill. Jimi Hendrix of the spoken word.
"Mud": Who's Jimi Hendrix?
Dennis Van Welker: Michael Jordan of the electric guitar.
#5
"Mud": Dad! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I can't act stupid.
Zach: If Mud's guilty I am too.
Gaby: Me too! I'm smart enough to act stupid.
Trish: Yeah and I'm stupid too! Well... you know what I mean.
#6
Steve: This bites.
All: Yeah.
Heather: We should just go home.
All: Yeah.
Steve: At least at home they have cable.
All: Cable.
Arnold: Baywatch.
Guys: Baywatch.
Walter: Baywatch.
#7
"Mud": [complaining about his parents] Jesus, they talk about me like... I'm unemployed or something.
#8
Gaby: [on Dennis Van Welker] Last year, he tried to do 'Silence of the Lambs' as a musical.
#9
"Mud": Maybe we could go out when you get b... chests?
#10
Lt. Eliot Hendricks: Fleur... what the hell are you doing?
#11
Karl Dell: I'm freezing my nuts off out here!
Zach: You can thaw em' out later.
#12
Lenny: [Quoting lines from "A Streetcar Named Desire"] This is my *goddamn* house, and I'll talk any *goddamn* way I want to!
Debbie: Now, Stanley, there's no cause to use such language to Blanche!
#13
"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me.
#14
Karl Dell: Check or plastic?
Dennis Van Welker: Cash.
#15
T.R. Polk: [after getting the money for Dennis' car] You're a little short.
"Mud": Well... you're a little fat.
#16
Zach: You know, if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd be in heaven.
#17
Dennis Van Welker: [some advice to Mud] Here's what you do: get lost! Disappear into the woods for five or six hours. When you show up they'll be so glad you haven't been eaten by bears, they'll forget the other stuff!
#18
Zach: I just gotta say... THIS IS MAJOR COOL,YEAH!
#19
Arnold: Relax... it'll be fine... I mean we're not complete morons!
#20
Grocery Checker: Can I see your ID? You gotta be 19 to buy this stuff.
Zach: No problem.
Grocery Checker: You were born in 1963?
Zach: Yeah.
Grocery Checker: And that would make you?
Zach: 21.
Grocery Checker: Wrong. It's 1994. That would make you 31.
Trish: Wrong! If he was born in 1963, and he's 21, then it's 1984! Uh!